A Superhero Reflects Upon His Career Choice

Ever since the accident, I’ve wondered if I did the right thing. I mean, when you fall into a vat of toxic waste mixed with hot dog vendor water and just walk away, you want to think there’s some higher purpose at work. That you were meant for something — fighting crime, protecting the innocent — something meaningful.

It’s not even like I have any useful super-powers, either. Yeah, I can survive a long time in boiling water — whoop-dee-dingle-doo. You know how many villains in this town attack people with boiling water? Somewhere between bupkis and zip, that’s how many.

And you try having a secret identity when you’re built like a hot dog. I mean, it’s not like I can just blend in, you know? Now, Superman, he just puts on the glasses, and bing! he’s like, Mr. Normal, he can go to Starbucks, do whatever he wants. Oh, but not me. Everybody knows where I work, where I live, I got people yelling at me from their cars, harassing me at home… and not even proper death threats — at least that would be dignified. No, my big nemesis is some punk kids from down the block who leave a flaming bag of mustard on my front porch and ring the bell. Yeah, nice going, evildoers.

This sucks.

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French Hot Dog, by Thomas Leuthard, licensed under CC BY 2.0

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23 thoughts on “A Superhero Reflects Upon His Career Choice

  1. April November 13, 2015 / 3:09 pm

    Oh my gosh!…..I’m really lovin’ this “Not Cute” stuff! 😀

  2. dubravkamcvmd November 13, 2015 / 3:11 pm

    If only the back story of what we see around us was like this…

  3. Birdcage November 13, 2015 / 4:09 pm

    I’d eat that. Wait, that came out wrong.

  4. Tamara November 13, 2015 / 4:13 pm

    Can we please discuss the CREPE wrapped around that poor hot dog?! The meat to bread ratio is gonna be waaaaaaaay off, silly Frenchies.

    • Not That Mike The Other Mike November 13, 2015 / 4:18 pm

      NO CREPES!

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      • Michelle P November 13, 2015 / 5:14 pm

        Ah ha ha ha! I *love* Edna Mode!

    • Arne November 13, 2015 / 4:30 pm

      Make that silly Swedes because it’s from my native country.

  5. Mamabear November 13, 2015 / 4:16 pm

    Yes, this is a very good site indeed. You have the qte AND this kinda stuff I love.

    Oooh, and I see you can reply to others. Nice!

  6. Michelle P November 13, 2015 / 4:20 pm

    Whoop-dee-dingle-doo… ha ha ha! Loving this new not so cute category

    • Not That Mike The Other Mike November 13, 2015 / 4:51 pm

      HAHAHAHAHAHA! That was too good not to share, so I embedded that here so we can all look easily.

    • Smartypants November 13, 2015 / 5:15 pm

      It’s Weinerman’s trusty sidekick, Fryboy!

  7. Jen8 November 13, 2015 / 5:01 pm

    Ugh. That NTMTOM, his humor is the wurst!

    • Birdcage November 13, 2015 / 5:06 pm

      I see what you did there, Jen8

  8. t November 13, 2015 / 5:08 pm

    Weinerman has a sadz! Maybe he can look at life with more relish! And onions. Don’t forget onions. What’s the chances of getting that picture? Amazing.

  9. Stephanie November 13, 2015 / 5:55 pm

    Is it being wrapped in a crepe that makes it a French hot dog?

  10. Deb November 13, 2015 / 6:17 pm

    They don’t make sidekicks like that anymore.

  11. Kristin November 13, 2015 / 7:42 pm

    Fryboy looks like he had a swig or two of something before showing up for work.

  12. Catwhisperer November 13, 2015 / 9:31 pm

    This is AWESOME! Cute AND twisted all in one site. I love, love, LOVE it!!

    • Faye November 14, 2015 / 11:57 am

      Great description. Cute AND Twisted. I’m in. Lol

  13. Phred's Mom November 14, 2015 / 10:00 am

    Yay! Best of both worlds.

    • jerzowa November 14, 2015 / 3:21 pm

      I agree, Phred’s Mom! Now the only thing I miss to feel really great is a pun (or two, or thousand) by Oakley260 🙂

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