Bird Brains

“So, what do you think it is?”

“I don’t know. It’s so shiny.”

“The way it just stands there, wiggling like that. It’s creeping me out. You think it’s alive?”

“It can’t be alive, it’s too shiny.”

“Maybe it’s an airplane.”

“An airplane?!

“Sorry, it was the first thing that popped into my head.”

“You’re both wrong. This is clearly a highly sophisticated matter/antimatter transduction system. The electro-ionization emitterย at the top emits a pulsating variable-frequency distortion beam that breaks down solid matter into digitized particles that are then amplified byย the collecting receptacle below and broadcast into space.”

“So can we touch it?”

“Of course you can’t touch it! You’d be nothing but feathers and loose molecules!”


“But it’s so shiny.”


African greys, by Papooga, licensed under CC BY 2.0.

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40 thoughts on “Bird Brains

  1. Birdcage November 13, 2015 / 8:05 am

    Parrots!!!!!!! My bird lurves him some running faucet water,, just so.

    • Birdcage November 13, 2015 / 8:07 am

      This is my new happy place.

  2. LunaChickFringe November 13, 2015 / 8:15 am

    ๐Ÿ™‚ So happy to see you have created your own site! You deserve it!

    • ChellePatt November 13, 2015 / 9:02 am

      So I’m Canadian and we have a band named Red Rider that, years ago, did a song called Lunatic Fringe. *EVERYTIME* I see your name in the comments, I start singing to myself… Thanks for the earworm! ๐Ÿ™‚

      • maggie November 13, 2015 / 9:30 am

        Me, too!!

        • Michelle P November 13, 2015 / 2:48 pm

          Yay!! Whereabouts are ya? I’m in Vancouver.

  3. Gigi_the cat lady November 13, 2015 / 8:20 am

    I really missed reading a NTMTOM, scrolling downward slowly until … BAM! You get to the to the punch line and giggle madly for an entire minute! Thank you NTMTOM.

    • The Iglets November 13, 2015 / 12:46 pm

      Agree! I love the scroll downs!

  4. Faye November 13, 2015 / 8:38 am


  5. AB November 13, 2015 / 9:09 am

    Totes adorbs! Thanks for the oasis of cute and cute and funny, NTMTOM!

  6. Brouhaha November 13, 2015 / 9:15 am

    *sudden flutter of posts relieves anxiety at desk*


    • Faye November 13, 2015 / 12:04 pm

      Brouhaha. I am so grateful for your redirecting us to NTMTOM.

  7. Beemoused November 13, 2015 / 10:12 am

    **Deep sigh of relief as cute fix kicks in**

  8. ManyCatsHaveI November 13, 2015 / 10:16 am

    This is only awesome that this now exists! I’ve been a creeper at CO for years and wondered what the heck was going on along with everyone else. Glad I followed the crowds and came here.

    One question: Will you link to new Maru and Simon’s Cats? *pleasepleaseplease*

    • Not That Mike The Other Mike November 13, 2015 / 10:17 am

      I hear and obey…

      • Faye November 13, 2015 / 12:08 pm

        Norbert please. Maru and Norbert. Then I all good for all the new. Looking forward to That’s Not Cute as well.

    • Smartypants November 13, 2015 / 10:53 am

      Hi, ManyCats – Nice to meet you!

      • Smartypants November 13, 2015 / 10:54 am

        (oops, meant to leave that as a Reply above)

    • allein November 13, 2015 / 7:50 pm

      I don’t post much on CO, either, but I read every day. Mike posts are my favorites and I added this site to my bookmarks right away. So glad he’s doing this. ๐Ÿ™‚

      And there is a new Maru on the main page right now!

  9. Stephanie November 13, 2015 / 10:54 am

    Oh, hovertext, how I love you. And those red tail feathers are beautiful..

  10. mayitaazul November 13, 2015 / 10:54 am

    SHINY! Everyone loves shiny!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. 1knitchick November 13, 2015 / 11:12 am

    Shiny………love it!!!!

  12. DaChickenLady November 13, 2015 / 11:18 am

    Feeling so warm and fuzzy right now.

  13. Kathykip November 13, 2015 / 11:19 am

    Oooooo Shiny!!!

  14. bananabreadhead November 13, 2015 / 12:10 pm

    I probably would have guessed it was an airplane too.

    THANK YOU for the cuteness!

  15. 6puppers November 13, 2015 / 12:28 pm

    Thanks for filling the qte void ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. doomchild November 13, 2015 / 1:11 pm

    Someone’s been watching scifi, haven’t you NTMTOM?

  17. David November 13, 2015 / 1:14 pm

    Neptune’s not that bad – it’s much less embarrassing than that *other* planet…

    • Smartypants November 13, 2015 / 1:49 pm

      Bwa ha ha! ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Faye November 13, 2015 / 4:52 pm

      Roflol. My first lol on a comment. Nice to meet you David!

  18. Linda November 13, 2015 / 1:28 pm

    hahahaha! that was fabulous! LURV the hovertext!

  19. cheshirekittehkat November 13, 2015 / 1:39 pm

    O NTMTOM, just sitting here watching teh boidees who are watching teh water from teh fawcett has cheereded me up LOTS!!! Thanx muchlee for coming up wif this website…… you has no idea just how menny peeps you has thrilled…….(does furiously fast Happy Danse…..)c

  20. Vanessa Bennett November 13, 2015 / 2:20 pm

    So lovely to see you all here and NTMTOM you are a gentleman and a scholar. Give this man the Pulitzer.

  21. Trisha November 13, 2015 / 3:38 pm

    Ginger, Madge and Frieda are once again gossiping around the office water cooler…

    • Faye November 14, 2015 / 12:01 pm

      Fantastic description.

  22. myiglets February 27, 2016 / 9:59 am

    So my aerator in my kitchen faucet broke last night.

    My first reaction when I turned on the faucet – “It’s so shiny and clear! Ooh!”

    Then I thought of these little guys and I will not be laughing at them anymore. ๐Ÿ™‚

  23. Faye February 27, 2016 / 10:21 am

    See. Everyone has a different starting point. Ooo shiny. Where does it come from? Etc.

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