“A-heh, do forgive the minor witticism at our current predicament, but we seem to have reached a stalemate of sorts. Although there are clearly enough apples for both of us to dine heartily, our present orientation vis-a-vis the opening of the container would preclude any possibility of nourishment.
“Now, while I am senior to you, as evidenced by the grey lieutenant’s stripe on my collar, I see no need to pull rank. Rather, I believe we can put our heads together (goodness, I am quite the panic today, aren’t I?), and arrive at an equitable compromise.
“Or we could just be goats about this. Yeah, probably easier.”