Watch this Show or Die! (your call)

Bats! Fierce, leathery-winged marauders of the night! Tonight on “Scary Things That Can Totally Kill You” we’ll be looking at these freakish winged beasts and showing you why you should be hiding under your bed cowering in fear of themย right now!

(Um, there’s been a mistake, I’m not a…)

With their large, hyper-sensitive ears, can these unnatural flapping vermin actually hearย humanย thoughts? Scientists are sharply divided over this question, in that 32,712 say “no” and one says “yes” — and we’ll be talking to that one scientist later in the program!

(Wait, what? That doesn’t even make any…)

So don’t miss tonight’s fear-packed episode, and learn the secrets that might save your life from the clutches of these disgusting, murderous, godless communist bugs, who even now can be found lurking in your sock drawer, waiting to strike!


Sender-inner Drude writes “I accidentally Googled ‘oriental shorthair,’ and it was pure gold in the ridiculous ears and faces department.”

OSH Margosha of Marikacats, by Nickolas Titkov, licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

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25 thoughts on “Watch this Show or Die! (your call)

  1. myiglets November 30, 2015 / 12:56 pm


  2. Beemoused November 30, 2015 / 1:23 pm

    “Bat’s aren’t bugs!”

    Suzie of Calvin & Hobbes


      • Teho November 30, 2015 / 2:58 pm

        My Work Here Is Done

        • AuntieM1996 November 30, 2015 / 3:04 pm

          TEHO!!!! Hai!!

          • AuntieM1996 November 30, 2015 / 3:05 pm

            frantic waving from The West Coast of New England toward Teho-land. Life is now complete. NTMTOM and Teho, together again!!

        • debg November 30, 2015 / 10:30 pm

          Teho? Really? sob

        • jerzowa December 1, 2015 / 6:18 am

          Oh gosh. Now if only Oakley showed up, I would be in heaven ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Beemoused December 1, 2015 / 6:52 am

        I had every faith in you!

    • 6rabbits November 30, 2015 / 9:54 pm


  3. Michelle P November 30, 2015 / 1:33 pm

    *to tune of Batman theme*

    BATCAT! Duh nuh nuh nuh nah nah nah nah! BATCAT!

  4. Mal November 30, 2015 / 3:39 pm

    NTMTOM, it’s nice to see you getting a tad more political now that you’re not representing a commercial website. Yay for the fair and balanced media approach to Scientists with Alternative Perspectives.

    Also? That kitten bat has an awesome schnozz.

    • Not That Mike The Other Mike November 30, 2015 / 3:44 pm

      NTMTOM, America’s trusted source for Kittens with Alternative Noses (see also the poor kitten from last week who got his nose out of joint during a sting operation.)

      • allein November 30, 2015 / 4:50 pm

        I was giggling at poor gumball-nose for hours.

        Now giggling again.

        On a side note, we need an upvote button for comments. I keep going to click it only to find it’s not there!

        • Not That Mike The Other Mike November 30, 2015 / 5:00 pm

          I’ve gotten requests for upvoting on comments before. I’m thinking about it, but I recall a time when C.O. implemented upvote/downvote buttons, and readers were unhappy to get downvotes. So I need to find a system that allows only upvotes.

          • allein November 30, 2015 / 5:21 pm

            I was gonna say, downvote button not necessary. ๐Ÿ˜‰

            It’s just funny, because I read a blog that has voting, but you can only see the number of upvotes. If you downvote a comment, it will show the arrow as red so you know you did it, but no one else will see it (this is a thing with Disqus). So I upvote a lot on there and I keep going to do it here and on CO even though I know there hasn’t been voting on CO in forever! Force of habit. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. allein November 30, 2015 / 4:52 pm

    Did I stumble onto the history channel?

    Also, the story goes well with Kitty-in-a-Onesie staring down from the banner.

  6. Gigi_the cat lady November 30, 2015 / 5:11 pm

    I was expecting the photo to be inside down. Great post NTMTOM ๐Ÿ˜€

  7. Saffron November 30, 2015 / 5:14 pm

    The fun of a NTMTOM post is slowly scrolling down the text and then being surprised (always happily) by the photo that appears.
    This post is AWESOME.

    Although I just checked my sock drawer and there is no kitteh. ๐Ÿ™ Just a collection of single socks whose mates tragicallyh ave gone missing in my dryer somehow.

  8. Julie November 30, 2015 / 6:57 pm

    I can’t believe there is no commentary on how Drude “accidentally” googled “oriental shorthair”

    • debg November 30, 2015 / 10:31 pm

      I was wondering that too. I mean, seriously? What was Drude *really* looking into?

      • 6rabbits December 1, 2015 / 7:16 am

        I was thinking about this last night…perhaps it was supposed to be
        “oriental short hair”? Like for hairstyles?

        • Drude December 1, 2015 / 11:29 am

          Oh, you’d be surprised how much accidental googling happens around here when there’s boring work to be done…
          So of course I DID mean to google oriental shorthair in a way… I was looking for a cat breed I THOUGHT was called oriental shorthair… (what breed is Winston?)
 any rate I was entirely unprepared for the sizes and sheer amounts of EARZ & SCHNOZZLES in the results… But definitely worth the accidental googling.

  9. 6rabbits November 30, 2015 / 10:01 pm

    There is nothing I don’t like about this post! ๐Ÿ˜† Well done, NTMTOM!

    BTW, there are neither cats NOR bats in my sock drawer…[pouts]

    • allein November 30, 2015 / 11:12 pm

      I have some socks with cats on them. Does that count?

      (I also have dogs. And giraffes.)

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