Once upon a time, there was a kitten who was easily duped. One day, she got an email that began “FW: FW: Re: FW: FW: FW: Grow GIANT BEANSTALKS using this ONE WEIRD TRICK the MAINSTREAM MEDIA doesn’t want you to know about!”
Her curiosity piqued, the kitten ordered the Magic Patriot Bean Survival Kit for the introductory price of just $99.99 (or twelve easy monthly payments of $9.99). And indeed the beans were magic, for they worked exactly as advertised, which is pretty much the standard for miracles nowadays. When the kitten returned the next day, she saw a beanstalk that rose improbably into the clouds, creating an air traffic hazard.
At first, the kitten thought she might climb the beanstalk and see what riches lay at the top, but then she remembered she was so terrified of heights that the fire department once had to be called to rescue her from the shelf over the washing machine, so instead she called for the dog, who was even more easily duped than she, and said “Here’s a rope and some mountaineering boots. See what’s up there.”
And the dog was never heard from again. The end.