It’s Curtains for Gilbert

Here’s Gilbert, a cat with a unique delusion. Gilbert does not like the snowy outdoor landscape with its coldness and its bleakness and its lackness of birdies, so instead he imagines that outside the window there is a lush tropical paradise with a spray of salty sea air, the scent of orchids, and the annual leadership retreatย of the Association of Slow-moving Flightless Parakeets. Alas, Gilbert’s mommy does not understand the significance of Gilbert’s desperate clutching at the drapes to keep them closed, and thrusts Gilbert into a reality-based hellscape for which he is not emotionally prepared. Poor Gilbert.

If only you had known, Cheryl.

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36 thoughts on “It’s Curtains for Gilbert

  1. allein February 1, 2016 / 9:13 am

    Oh, poor Gilbert!

    The steam rising up from below is a nice touch.

  2. Mikeyfur February 1, 2016 / 10:06 am

    NTMTOM overload: lackness of birdies! Slow moving flightless parakeets! And Gilbert’s slump of despair at the end was icing on the cake.

  3. Juno February 1, 2016 / 10:16 am

    1) Gilbert needs a bigger perch. 2) Gilbert is thinking, “All I have to do is stick my paws on this curtain, and I’m guaranteed to get my human’s attention–works every time!”

  4. Faye February 1, 2016 / 10:48 am

    The horror of OUTSIDE. Gilbert is thinking: that’s why I don’t bother to go out! Exactly.

  5. Saffron February 1, 2016 / 10:49 am

    Gilbert is just trying to avoid all the paparazzi trying to photograph him since he is such a lovely cat!

  6. Tusitala February 1, 2016 / 11:34 am

    My alarm clock going off shall now be known as being thrust into a reality-based hellscape for which I am not emotionally prepared.

    • Not That Mike The Other Mike February 1, 2016 / 11:43 am

      Welcome to the site, first-time commenter! I hope this site can give you a break from reality when you need one.

    • allein February 1, 2016 / 12:03 pm

      Now I want a recording of someone saying this to use for my alarm tone.

    • Faye February 1, 2016 / 2:21 pm

      I just copied and pasted that into Notes to show my therapist. I was born two months premature at 2lbs and NTMTOM just about summed up my life. Yup, that’s been pretty much it for 64 years.

      • Cheryl February 1, 2016 / 9:16 pm

        Hey Faye. Gilbert’s human sister (who he ADORES) is a preemie too ๐Ÿ™‚ She was a bit under 2 lbs.

        • Faye February 2, 2016 / 7:29 am

          Go preemies!!

    • Mr. Max February 1, 2016 / 5:34 pm

      Great name, Tusitala! There used to be a bookstore near me named “Tusitala” once. It was full of wonderful tales, like it’s namesake.

      I agree totally about the alarm clock.

  7. D B February 1, 2016 / 11:34 am

    I am so very sorry, but “What’s Eating Gilbert’s Drapes?”

    • bananabreadhead February 1, 2016 / 12:00 pm

      Brilliant, D B!

    • Gigi_the cat lady February 1, 2016 / 12:25 pm

      Golf claps!!!

    • debg February 1, 2016 / 1:03 pm

      You win the Interwebs today!

    • Faye February 1, 2016 / 2:06 pm

      Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha…

    • Saffron February 1, 2016 / 2:15 pm

      100% WIN ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Mr. Max February 1, 2016 / 5:35 pm

      Never apologize for genius.

      • viola1000 February 2, 2016 / 4:20 am

        Wonderfull *bows*

  8. Gigi_the cat lady February 1, 2016 / 12:30 pm

    Reality-based hellscape, yep that is what was waiting for me this morning at work after being out of the office Thursday and Friday with a bad back, and I most definitely was NOT emotionally prepared for it ยซยซsighยปยป

  9. debg February 1, 2016 / 1:04 pm

    I like all the little snags on the drapes from Gilbert’s previous encounters. Looks like my house!

  10. Brouhaha February 1, 2016 / 1:17 pm

    A feeder hanging from that tree, just outside the window, would surely cure the lackness of boids.
    My kitty and the kitties upstairs all enjoy their boid tv.

    • allein February 1, 2016 / 1:23 pm

      My parents have a feeder outside the bay window in the kitchen, and in the bush outside their bedroom window where the cats sit on the sewing machine to watch the show.

  11. murkle46 February 1, 2016 / 2:21 pm

    What gilbert hears.”Blah Blah Blah,gilbert.Blah blah blah.Gilbert Blah Blah Blah”.

  12. Kar February 1, 2016 / 5:16 pm

    Anyone else suspect that this was exactly what Gilbert wanted? To see move the curtains so that he could see out the window and smirk at the fact that he wasn’t out in that mess?

    • Sedro6 February 1, 2016 / 7:06 pm

      Yes, exactly. He has his human trained to open the drapes… but then is overwhelmed by the brilliant frozen nothingness

      • Not That Mike The Other Mike February 1, 2016 / 7:09 pm

        Thus illustrating the adage “be careful what you wish for.” (Welcome to the site, first-time commenter! Glad to have you with us.)

  13. Deb February 1, 2016 / 7:32 pm

    This site is SO on a roll!

  14. Cheryl February 1, 2016 / 7:41 pm

    Hi everyone. Gilbert’s “mom” here. He does this ALL the time. Sometimes he falls asleep with his claws hooked in the curtain, half falling out of the tree. And I agree that his tree is too small. He was a kitten when we got it and we weren’t expecting him to grow so big!

      • Cheryl February 1, 2016 / 7:47 pm

        My pleasure NTMTOM! So happy to have found your blog recently: keeps me happy ๐Ÿ™‚

        • Faye February 1, 2016 / 8:43 pm

          Gilbert is a fantastic catboy name. He’s adorable. That is a wonderful spot for a cat to perch.

          • Cheryl February 1, 2016 / 9:09 pm

            Thanks :). He had a different name when we got him as a wee kitten from the shelter but we renamed him. I think it suits him.

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