We’ve Got More ████ing Bargains than a ████ ████ in a ████████

Ahoy, mateys! Be ye looking for a family pet that’s both friendly and educational? Then weigh anchor and set sail for Captain Eugene’s House of Second-hand Pirate Parrots! Our crew of parrots have sailed with some of the saltiest sea dogs that ever set to sea, so ye’ll be assured they’re tame, good with people, and have the kind of rich vocabulary that only the pirate life can teach ye! Just imagine the new words your little swabbies can learn! Supplies are limited, so hurry on down today!


McKinley holds a parrot, by Ted LaBar, licensed under CC BY 2.0

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34 thoughts on “We’ve Got More ████ing Bargains than a ████ ████ in a ████████

  1. EAG46 February 2, 2016 / 11:04 am

    Little Girl: “Mommy! Get the soap!”

  2. allein February 2, 2016 / 11:08 am

    I got this notification in my email and the subject looked like this:

    We’ve Got More ████ing Bargains than a ████ ████ in a ████████

    I was so confused!

    (Hopefully it doesn’t convert this to real formatting when I hit post…)

    • Not That Mike The Other Mike February 2, 2016 / 11:10 am

      Sorry about that, folks. The same thing happened to the headline when it posted to Facebook. I didn’t anticipate that.

      • allein February 2, 2016 / 11:23 am

        Live and learn. 😉

      • AuntieM1996 February 2, 2016 / 3:06 pm

        But it’s AWESOME even that way!!

  3. debg February 2, 2016 / 11:25 am

    NOMTOM, remind me of your keyboard disclaimer policy. I just spewed Diet Coke on another one!

  4. birdcage February 2, 2016 / 11:31 am

    There’s a funny story about Queen Elizabeth touring a submarine a few years ago where the submariners had been keeping an African Grey on board as their mascot. Needless to say, there were some red faces around when the boid mouthed off to Her Majesty using his colourful vocabulary!

    • Faye February 2, 2016 / 2:15 pm

      Birdcage does your boy talk?!

      • birdcage February 2, 2016 / 3:31 pm

        Yes. I’ve heard about 200 distinct words all told, though words come and go so I hesitate to say he has a steady vocabulary of 200 words. But he strings words together to form sentences, and uses language with context. He’s very good at selecting the appropriate thing to say, like “Wanna come cuddle” when he’s feeling lovey and wants out of his cage (he doesn’t actually like to cuddle), or he’s say “Wanna go see Gramma” when he’s mad at me and would prefer to hang out with my mother. He’ll ask, “Are you ok?” if he senses you’re sad, and “What are you doing?” if he thinks there’s fun going on without him in another room of the house. At bedtime, I sometimes get a cheerful, “See you in the morning!” Lots of fun.

        • Laura February 2, 2016 / 4:11 pm

          What a wonderful friend you have there! Seriously, we need some video, or at least some pictures! Lots and lots of pictures and video! Clearly, you’ve been a wonderful flock mate to him. 🙂

        • Faye February 2, 2016 / 6:30 pm

          How thrilling. “Wanna go see gramma” in the context of being mad at you is amazing.

          I agree with Laura. I would love to hear him in action.

          Would you say he is like a five year old? Our Black Lab Bucky seems to be stuck in five year old kid behavior in a 8 year old dog body.

        • Smartypants February 2, 2016 / 6:34 pm

          That’s really cool, I would also love to see pix/video.

  5. Kay Fabe February 2, 2016 / 11:33 am

    Remember, there are 13 dirty words if you’re a sailor!

    • Faye February 2, 2016 / 6:31 pm

      Is that a George Carlin reference?

      • Kay Fabe February 2, 2016 / 7:17 pm

        Not that classy. It’s Spongebob. 🙂

        • Faye February 2, 2016 / 8:51 pm

          I’m too old to know from Sponge Bob quotes. Maybe that’s a blessing.

          I was trying to figure out the extra words that Carlin might have added to the dirty words list. Lol!

  6. Smartypants February 2, 2016 / 11:34 am

    The smirk on that parrot – “Heh heh heh!” 😀

  7. AJ February 2, 2016 / 11:44 am

    Too funny!! I actually thought there was something the matter with the site when I saw the headline today. True story about salty talking birds. My grandparents used to manage a hotel up in Nova Scotia during the early 1930s and a sea captain had left behind his parrot. Well, one day grandma had the vicar (episcopal priest) to tea and he decided to ask the parrot “Polly want a cracker??”. Bird turned around and told the vicar to go to H ell, several times. LOL. This was the same parrot that used to sing “I’m forever blowing bubbles, bubbles, …” Wish I had known that bird, sounds like a lot of fun.

    • Mr. Max February 2, 2016 / 6:58 pm

      FUNNY! It must have been the same parrot my great grandmother used to have! He’d sit in the window and call people over by name. Then he’d say “Go to hell now, Bob! ” or whatever the person’s name was.

    • Deb February 2, 2016 / 7:04 pm

      During awkward paused moments, the English often say “More tea, vicar?”

      • AJ February 3, 2016 / 12:49 pm

        For the British (and the Canadians) tea solves not just awkward pauses, but all problems!

        • Lurkingduck February 3, 2016 / 6:22 pm

          Actually, AJ, when on this site, tea CAUSES problems, and as DEBG pointed out, Mike’s disclaimer means he won’t be held responsible. We need to start a computer/keyboard replacement fund.

  8. Gigi_the cat lady February 2, 2016 / 1:04 pm

    You have to watch your mouth around parrots and toddlers, both will repeat stuff you would ratther they would not. LOL!

  9. Smartypants February 2, 2016 / 1:29 pm

    I read the title and thought we were going to do another Mad Lib!

  10. Michelle P February 2, 2016 / 7:15 pm

    My husband’s Uncle Steve owned a parrot who chatted up a storm but she was exceptionally shy about talking in front of strangers. She’d ride on his shoulder to various places (e.g., hardware store, drug store) and he’s invariably get stopped and asked, “Does she talk?” He said she was so shy that she’d never come out with more than regular bird squawks. Tired of trying, he decided the next time someone asked, he’d say, “Nah, she doesn’t talk”.

    So, of course, here comes the next “does she talk” inquiry and just as he’s about the answer when she pipes up with, “Can we go now? I’M BORED!!”

    • Faye February 2, 2016 / 8:53 pm

      Love it!

    • 6rabbits February 3, 2016 / 12:45 am

      That’s awesome!😆

  11. fkaWaldenPond February 2, 2016 / 8:01 pm

    While in flight, f-bombs away!

    • fkaWaldenPond February 2, 2016 / 8:16 pm

      Ahoy! There she f-n blows!

  12. Donna February 3, 2016 / 10:17 am

    My own 2nd favorite parrot story is about a pet-store denizen who once belonged to Winston Churchill. Decades after the end of WWII, the bird still had rather rude things to say about the Germans -loudly and repeatedly.
    Favorite parrot story involved a cockatoo who was boarding at a vet’s office , who was found to be imitating the…vocalizatations of his married owners. Specifically, the sounds of their bedroom. The reasons for boarding him was because the mother-in-law was visiting and that might be..awkward.

  13. Faye February 3, 2016 / 12:45 pm

    Very old family parrot story. Store parrot would call my Great Aunt Eva out to the front when customers walked in. E’vaa E’vaa, E’vaa. And when he was at home he would unbutton and pull on the fingertips of the visiting ladies’ gloves because he wanted their company and they should sit down and stay. Circa 1920s.

    • Michelle P February 3, 2016 / 7:19 pm

      That’s actually quite sweet!

      • Faye February 3, 2016 / 7:25 pm

        I’m glad I could share that memory. I’m the last to have heard that story first hand.

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