Thank thee, thy majesty and guests! We are Pyrrkin and Myrrkin, dispensers of witticisms and tomfoolery! Now, I don’t wish to imply that mine goodly wife is careless in the scullery, but my nickname for her meatloaf is “The Blackened Plague.”
Perhaps if thou provided proper utensils, wretched miser! Instead, I am suffered to make do with torture implements that you purchased for half price at Crazy Torquemada’s “Going Out of Inquisition” sale! You try cooking in an iron maiden!