Send in the Court Jesters!

Thank thee, thy majesty and guests! We are Pyrrkin and Myrrkin, dispensers of witticisms and tomfoolery! Now, I don’t wish to imply that mine goodly wife is careless in the scullery, but my nickname for her meatloaf is “The Blackened Plague.”

Perhaps if thou provided proper utensils, wretched miser! Instead, I am suffered to make do with torture implements that you purchased for half price at Crazy Torquemada’s “Going Out of Inquisition” sale! You try cooking in an iron maiden!


, by Brandon Giesbrecht, licensed under CC BY 2.0

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35 thoughts on “Send in the Court Jesters!

  1. Elaine C Williamson February 6, 2016 / 1:17 pm

    That is one of the cutest pictures I have ever seen and I love the commentary!

  2. Jen8 February 6, 2016 / 1:23 pm

    Ima poop in his shoes later, what’re you gonna do?

  3. dubravkamcvmd February 6, 2016 / 1:38 pm

    Oh ! Oh! Oh! Another classic! Pyrrkin and Myrrkin! Crazy Torquemada’s Going Out of Inquisition sale! The picture! The hover text! Gaaah!
    Do these two come on during the intermission of The Elizabethan Reptile Theater?

    • Deb February 6, 2016 / 9:38 pm

      Yes, I believe they tour with the same troupe!

  4. Faye February 6, 2016 / 2:19 pm

    Honored Husband, can thee get thine monetary units back?
    Dear Wife, I pray, not without a calculated conversion. It seems I have been put to the screw!

    • Deb February 6, 2016 / 9:47 pm

      Besmirched yet again!

  5. Faye February 6, 2016 / 2:25 pm

    I didn’t know Henny Youngman played The Inquisition Cafe!! Talk about old jokes.

    “I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.”

    • Faye February 6, 2016 / 5:04 pm


  6. JenDeyan February 6, 2016 / 3:14 pm

    This is going down as my favorite commentary of yours so far. Simply inspired, good sir!

  7. AJ February 6, 2016 / 3:42 pm

    The Blackened Plague, snort!! I’ve had a few meals like that but never knew what to call it, lol.

    • Kar February 6, 2016 / 5:52 pm

      I should name my pot roast that.

      You know the Al Pacino line about a Pot Roast that doesn’t suck? Mine does.

  8. Emmberrann February 6, 2016 / 3:46 pm

    I did visit mine physician and observed his client waving his arm in a most peculiar way, groaning as he quoth, “doctor! Mine arm doth pain me when I move it thusly!” To which the physician replied, “then do not so move it!”

    • Laura February 6, 2016 / 4:35 pm

      I actually did have a doctor who did sayeth that unto me once upon a time. He then did smirketh and appeareth to be very proud of himself. I refrained from smiting him, tempting though it was!

    • Faye February 6, 2016 / 5:10 pm

      Verily I say unto allergic: Me thinkseth thee doth winnith the interwebbeths.

      • Faye February 6, 2016 / 5:11 pm

        Ugg: allergic=alleth

        • Transentence February 6, 2016 / 5:49 pm

          Allergic – wasn’t he the least-known offspring of Alaric? The sickly one?

          • Faye February 6, 2016 / 6:16 pm

            Oh yes. Banished to the land of Histamine never to be seen again.

            • 6rabbits February 7, 2016 / 12:08 am


  9. Saffron February 6, 2016 / 4:01 pm

    I traversed many myles o’er many straets and thusly came upon a tavern. Seeking to slake mine thyrst with mead and meelks I called upon the barkeep of the hostelry “The Toothless Hound” to raise the porticullis and provide entry:

    “Knock knock”
    “Who darkens mine keep?”
    “Who taketh the name of Catsup?”
    “Catsup on top of thine battlements and won’t come down!”

    Ah, lamentation. I guess thee had be thyre.

    • Faye February 6, 2016 / 5:14 pm


    • Catwhisperer February 6, 2016 / 5:50 pm

      Saffron, thou hast taketh away mine breath with thy mastery of mirth!!

  10. murkle46 February 6, 2016 / 4:16 pm

    “Looketh over there.”

    • Faye February 6, 2016 / 5:15 pm

      I madeth you looketh.

  11. amyliz February 6, 2016 / 5:04 pm

    The Elizabethan Age meets Borscht Belt humor! 😁

  12. Faye February 6, 2016 / 5:21 pm

    Really this is the cutest smartest most funniest happy place. Thank you NTMTOM and all commenters.

    • amyliz February 6, 2016 / 5:37 pm

      Yea verily! Methinks the Bard himself would hath approved of this place!

  13. fkaWaldenPond February 6, 2016 / 6:14 pm

    Isn’t the proper spelling of Myyyrkin, um, Merkin? As in “If ‘t be true thee wast not down visiting at the cat house every night I would not has’t to taketh such strict hygiene measures and don mine merkin.”

    • Faye February 6, 2016 / 6:18 pm


  14. jlamusings February 6, 2016 / 6:46 pm

    Verily, all thine comments doth maketh this dreary day a mirthful one, good NTMTOM and commentors a plenty. I shall offer a new class to mine students: Elizabethan Feline Punnery 101- Pyrrkin & Myrrkin to Christopher Meowrlow

    • allein February 6, 2016 / 11:56 pm

      What about William Shakespurr?

      • Jlamusings February 7, 2016 / 7:20 am


  15. Tamara February 8, 2016 / 11:03 am

    I’m late to the party but had to say Bravo! Magnifique! Huzzah! etc. Those are some of the plushiest court jesters i’ve ever seen. Is Marmalade whispering to her friend or about to bite him on the scruff? lol

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