Important: The management of this blog would like to make clear that it does not condone the throwing of live alligators into restaurants. However, it does condone equipping them with bottle rockets and launching them into liquor stores, because that’s so much more Florida.
59 thoughts on “And Here’s Your Change, Two Lizards and a Water Snake”
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Great, now I’m picturing a baby alligator with a bandolier full of cheap illegal fireworks… 😀
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Isn’t that kind of activity followed by last words, “Hey dudes, watch this”?
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“And hold my beer.”
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…along with “She’ll never find out” and “I know a guy…”!
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“Yes, I know what I’m doing!”
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And…”You only live once!”
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“We can fix that, don’t worry about your deposit.”
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From the new movie “Dude, where’s my gator?”
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With all due respect to its many fine citizens…
Florida. WTF.
“WTF” should be the new state motto. “WTF…Welcome To Florida!”
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Hahaha I’ll send an email to the Florida Tourism Board forthwith!
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I lived in Florida, an alligator ate the neighbor’s dog and the neighborhood peacock fell in love with a Blue Buick.
Welcome to Florida fits.
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Our local peacock is quite the Casanova. He has fallen in love with a mailbox, a fire hydrant, a Toyota, and a chicken. And that’s just in the past week.
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I have lived in Florida for 40 years and I say that every time I read the local news, only I’m using the phrase in it’s more traditional context!
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What happens in Florida doesn’t stay in Florida.
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No, we are equal-opportunity exporters–we want everyone to share our crazy!
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Don’t EVER be surprised by what you see (or hear for that matter) coming from Florida. We’re always amazed by our news down here. Several times a week we see news of people driving/crashing into houses, businesses, etc. and I don’t mean driving INTO the garage. Last week a house was driven into for the second time since December!! I think I’d move REAL quick!! Third time’s is NOT a charm!! But the little alligator thrown into the drive-thru window was a first, I think. Alcohol has a way of making people do things that can only be imagined!!
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My local radio station’s morning show does a segment called The No-Sweat News; they do three crazy news stories Monday-Thursday and then there’s a quiz on Friday (they give four stories and you have to identify the one they made up). Whenever they identify a story as coming from Florida, the word Florida is always followed by “Capital of the No-Sweat News.” (I think they get a lot of them from fark.com, which has various category tags; Florida, of course, has its own tag.)
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That sounds like fun!
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Usually the made-up story is a variation on one of the real stories, so it’s tricky. The usual joke is that they make it up around 4:20 on Thursday afternoon. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/420_(cannabis_culture), in case anyone doesn’t get that.)
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Don’t forget, we throw dangerous native and dangerous non-native fauna together.
We literally have anaconda-alligator fights in the Everglades. Crocodile on Caiman action in the drainage ditch.
We’re a freakin’ Darwin award in progress.
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It must be the primordial heat and humidity. The only animal war I ever witnessed on Long Island was between a Opossum and a Raccoon over a Banana I threw out the window and over a fence when I lived in a second story apartment near a salt marsh.
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From above link: In Colorado, the Colorado Department of Transportation replaced the Mile Marker 420 sign on I-70 east of Denver with one reading 419.99
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Dewey Decimal System 419 covers sign languages — hmmm.
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Is it just me, because a few times, when I log onto this website, my Tablet doesn’t show a picture. I see one or two comments, and wonder, “what the hey?” When I go into the comments section, most of the time I then will see the picture.
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Do you mean the main picture for the post? What tablet are you using? (I don’t know if I can solve this, but it will be useful to know)
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I don’t always get the main picture- odd. I use an Ipad. I don’t know what this post is about or the one that involved Nintendo and Mario.
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Thank you for letting me know about this. I will see what those two posts have in common and avoid situations like that.
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I don’t get Facebook videos, but that’s a function of my computer/browser, not this site. My system has decided to ‘protect’ me from Facebook and Wikipedia with the message ‘can’t establish a secure connection’ – I’m on a Mac Mini desktop and my browser is Safari, if that helps.
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Hey NTMTOM, you might enjoy this elegant take on the Florida Man syndrome. (Don’t skip the comments.)
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It was a 3 1/2 ft. Alligator!! I get that in Florida this is considered “small” [eye roll] but, still…! I can’t believe guy wasn’t charged with animal cruelty!
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I imagine he was charged with pretty much everything else, though.
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That was totally brilliant, Mal!
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Agreed.
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The “Florida Man” meme is one of the greats.Should be a Marvel superhero.
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I don’t recall if it was in Florida or not, but I know there was a case in which some poor guy was held up in a phone booth (yes, an old story) by a guy wielding a snapping turtle as a weapon.
That’s got “Florida” written all over it.
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OK, not Florida, but we did have an amusing and adorable quartet of critters who hung around my neighborhood for a while. There was a peacock, a rabbit, a chukar (partridge-like bird) and a chicken who used to patrol the streets together, making sure that any debris in the gutters was free of edible insects or seeds. A then-84 year old friend told me about them, and I thought she was getting a little dotty. When I saw them for myself I was both amused by the beasties and embarrassed that I had thought my friend was beginning to lose her marbles.
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Mr. Max your story made my day on so many levels.
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Glad to be of service! 🙂
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I would pay good money to see that!!?
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A peacock, a rabbit, a chukar and a chicken walk into a bar… (at least it’s not the backdoor entrance to a restaurant.)
My favorite joke is: An Irishman walks out of a pub.
I am allowed to write this. I am married to an Irishman.
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ACK! Hilarious! Mom (mostly Irish) will love that joke!
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The thing that I find funny about Florida,is how when it gets cold they have to go out and rake the iguanas off their lawns.
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What an image! I believe it, though, given how cold and stiff they can get in chilly temps!
I had to bushwhack through my yard the other day to find my sulcata tortoise. It had gotten cold enough overnight that she was too sluggish to move out of her shady spot into the sun. Fortunately, about 3 minutes of sunbathing perked her right up!
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Actually, those of us who are animal lovers just go out the evening before and tuck them all into their little snuggie suits with Velcro on the tummies so that they stick to the branches better.
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I cannot tell if you and Mr. Max are joking or for reals?!
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It’s Florida! Reality is a **very** flexible concept here. Plus, we are very weird. All that heat and humidity tends to cook our brains.
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I’ve only been to Florida once (10 y.o. for Disney of course) but the horrible humidity convinced me I could NEVER live there!
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I can’t speak for Beemoused and the adorable (and ingenious) Iguana-in-a-Sweater, but I assure you I kid you not about my tortoise. It doesn’t happen often, but if the temperature drops quickly they get “stuck” in one spot until the air warms up. I can’t imagine trying to get a sweater on a tortoise, though!
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I just googled turtle clothing…
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Somebody put up a pic of that giant tortoise that the Japanese man dresses and walks with. Sniff, I don’t have the tech smarts.
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For Faye:
And in searching for that, I found Wasabi the Therapy Tortoise.
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Oh wow that is so cute!! Iguana in sweater!!
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Wasabi!! That’s it. Thank you Allein. I hope Mr. Max sees Wasabi.
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Better than shoveling snow!!
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I’d take raking iguanas off my lawn over shoveling snow or freezing rain like we had yesterday!
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I remember how they’d fall off the tree branches but don’t remember any on our lawn.
Now we did have lots of folks come out of the groves when it got cold. Also a lot of folks who didn’t have real heating systems. Thankfully we had warming stations at the schools.
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I find it hillarious that you are now getting spam with French names!
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Yeah, I kept waiting for someone to do something with Longfields Bag #9, but not Cher.
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Comments are closed.
Sweet blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
Many thanks|
Have you tried throwing an an alligator through a drive-through window? That worked.