I’m So Happy I Could Incubate a Sprinkler

Shout-out to DebraΒ for her subscription (Update: Meagan too!)! I’m so happy I could incubate a sprinkler! (I know that doesn’t make sense now, but it’s all a part of my master plan to make my mark on language by injecting strange phrases into the vernacular until one catches on. Someday, people everywhere will be saying “I’m so happy I could incubate a sprinkler!” and I’ll get the credit!)

My place in culture is assured, and I owe it all to sender-inner Tamara.

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58 thoughts on “I’m So Happy I Could Incubate a Sprinkler

  1. fkaWaldenPond February 20, 2016 / 6:15 pm

    I did this to a beer tap last night. True story.

    • Birdcage February 20, 2016 / 6:36 pm

      You win this comment thread!

    • Mikeyfur February 20, 2016 / 7:19 pm

      What Birdcage said!

  2. Kar February 20, 2016 / 6:47 pm

    Honestly, we could probably come up with about five worse phrases with parental ratings watching that video.

    So let’s go with yours.

      • Kar February 20, 2016 / 10:21 pm

        Not to mention other water related activities

      • Murray February 21, 2016 / 12:38 am

        Isn’t that Latin?

    • Lurkingduck February 20, 2016 / 10:41 pm

      Actually, a small part of me is curious about those other phrases, Kar.

      • fkaWaldenPond February 20, 2016 / 11:27 pm

        Back in the late 80’s I held a position as a receptionist one summer at a phone sex line company (ya, long story and geez several to tell besides this). Anyway, this as we all here can remember was well before call display etc. So, I didn’t do the actual ‘calls’ I was go-between and would take the ‘clients’ information/ requests/payment information’ and then call a woman who would then phone back the ‘client’ and complete the ahem, transaction. I am now getting to my point and relation to this thread– well, ‘water sports’ came up on occasion for requests and truly, I was young and even fresher faced than I am now :D;) had no clue what ‘water sports’ were but one thing I do remember is Sophia (real name) did not do water sports. She was our most popular, requested gal, had several physical personas and voice that would, well, make things happen. She was apparently a very large, physically intensive care nurse who would moonlight during the day doing call-backs on the phone line. So, LurkyDuck, there are some phrases (that I do know now) that could be told.
        True story.

        • Mr. Max February 20, 2016 / 11:36 pm

          FKAWaldenPond, you have depths we are only now beginning to learn about. I’m sure this was a very interesting job. And I never heard the term “water sports” before.

          • fkaWaldenPond February 20, 2016 / 11:43 pm

            Dear Sir, kindly proceed with caution if you choose to search that term. Annnddddd… funnily enough, despite the eyebrow-raising brief employment I held that summer, I managed to turn out um, kinda ok? πŸ˜€
            P.S. There is so much back story and well, forward story here– wouldn’t want to bore you all.

            • Mr. Max February 20, 2016 / 11:54 pm

              Trust me, I have NOOOO interest in searching that term! πŸ™‚

              I had some pretty bizarre jobs, too, and I think I came out OK, as I’m sure you have done as well.

              One fun and funny job I had–I used to take photos at the Don Ho show. Tourists would line up to have their picture taken with him, and then they bought them like hot cakes! Don Ho would always pretend he didn’t know my name, calling me “Grasshopper” when he found out I did martial arts, and “Raging Bull” before I took off a few pounds. He knew my name just FINE, as I heard him saying it to other people, but he never wanted me to think I was important enough for him to remember it. He was a sly one!

            • 6rabbits February 21, 2016 / 12:17 am

              I googled it–I’m unfortunately curious–and…ewwww! I now totally understand Sophia’s aversion.

            • Kar February 21, 2016 / 12:28 am

              Definitely avoid the Urban Dictionary and some of the other unfriendly websites.

              There’s only so much mental bleach.

            • fkaWaldenPond February 21, 2016 / 12:33 am

              Mr.Mike you beat me, hands down with the coolest odd job re Tiny Bubbles– I think my life would be complete (no sarcasm) if Don Ho called addressed me as ‘Grasshopper’ (clearly he was being a difficult
              prick but damnnn, that’s funny). Seriously, that is fantastic.

            • Mr. Max February 21, 2016 / 12:51 am

              Thanks! And your assessment of Mr. H was spot-on! I bet you have a ton of funny stories about your frisky phone job, and I seriously doubt they would bore any of us.

            • Deb February 21, 2016 / 10:01 am

              Wow, everyone’s summer jobs were so much more interesting than mine ever were. Don Ho – that takes the biscuit!

      • Lurkingduck February 21, 2016 / 12:31 am

        Actually, never mind. I wonder if Amazon sells mind bleach.

        • fkaWaldenPond February 21, 2016 / 12:34 am

          Lol, awwww, it will be ok. Heck, you started it. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜‰

          • Lurkingduck February 21, 2016 / 11:57 am

            In one of my local clothing stores, there is a shirt that says “Just because it comes into your mind, doesn’t mean it should come out of your mouth” (or, in my case, fingers). I think that, after this discussion, I’d better buy it.

        • Faye February 22, 2016 / 9:04 am

          Librarians buy mind bleach by the gallon.

          I once had a 18ish young man come to the Reference Desk who asked for a book that would show him where the g spot is.

          Putting on my professional librarian demeanor I walked him over to the “relationship” and gynecology books. (Dewey Decimal 618. 620 comes next Engineering. Go figure.)

          To my surprise no book mentioned the g spot in the index. Not wanting him to leave without an answer, as he was asking sincerely and not pranking me, I put back all the books and made a hand gesture with a raised palm and two fingers curved upward.

          His face lit up with revelation and delight. He had wanted to get it right for his girlfriend.

          He thanked me profusely while I restrained myself from asking him if he knew where her “button” was. I was so tempted to make sure she would be really satisfied.

          A question not asked shall not be answered.

          • Mr. Max February 22, 2016 / 5:40 pm

            Coolest librarian ever.

          • fkaWaldenPond March 9, 2016 / 10:22 pm

            Damn woman, well done! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  3. SAA1451 February 20, 2016 / 8:54 pm

    Roll over.
    Good Emu.

    That’s so Fetch.

  4. dubravkamcvmd February 20, 2016 / 9:24 pm

    I’m going to do my bit to make you linguistically immortal. I’m going to start using the phrase because, really, it says everything that needs to be said.

    • Mr. Max February 20, 2016 / 11:37 pm

      I read that as “linguistically IMMORAL’! Funny! And how very, very Freudian.

      • Faye February 21, 2016 / 11:47 am

        Does linguistically immoral mean you will say anything necessary or maybe it Indicates someone is a lawyer.

        • Mr. Max February 21, 2016 / 9:27 pm

          Or a presidential candidate.

          • Faye February 22, 2016 / 8:44 am

            There ya go!

    • The Commenter Formerly Known as Ricky's Mom February 21, 2016 / 12:01 pm

      As will I. This is a phrase that deserves to enter the common language, eftsoons and right speedily.

      • Murray February 21, 2016 / 4:08 pm

        Eftsoons! An underused word if ever there was one and a fave of mine.

  5. Lurkingduck February 20, 2016 / 10:36 pm

    Are we sure it’s an emu, and not a dog?

  6. 6rabbits February 20, 2016 / 11:19 pm

    Okay, it took me at least 5 minutes to get this!
    I had read all the comments and STILL couldn’t get why this would be a catch phrase. Wasn’t til I was perusing another post that…all of a sudden…I understood that I’d not put the emphasis on the correct words! For anyone else with this linguistic deficiency, read it: I’M SO HAPPY…I could incubate a sprinkler!
    [shaking head sadly] I may not be sharp enough for this site…

    • 6rabbits February 20, 2016 / 11:22 pm

      I changed my email address, got sent to the moderation lounge–where there are NO munchies–AND lost my avatar! What gives?

      • Not That Mike The Other Mike February 20, 2016 / 11:59 pm

        Sorry, when you changed your address, my system thought you were a new user and auto-modded you. All good now.

    • JenDeyan February 21, 2016 / 12:56 pm

      It took me a while to figure it out as well. I’m so not the smartest tool in the shed. :3

  7. 6rabbits February 21, 2016 / 12:04 am

    Thanks, NTMTOM! 😊 But how do I get my avatar back?🐰

      • Kar February 21, 2016 / 1:19 am

        I can’t believe that I miss my skinny green virus avatar. Now I have an overweight green virus avatar.

      • 6rabbits February 21, 2016 / 10:03 am

        Yep, that was it! Thanks!

        • Faye February 21, 2016 / 11:35 am


  8. jlamusings February 21, 2016 / 9:39 am

    I will def use this phrase now!
    I collect phrases to use in conversation from my remedial students with some of the stuff they blurt out. I have one I want to share, but I may get moderated πŸ˜‰ I have so many stories, everyone. So. Many. Stories. Maybe not as good as working for sex line or for Don Ho, but I’ve been told they’re pretty good.
    Random trivia: my workplace is IN Urban Dictionary from what I’m guessing was a disgruntled former employee because, darn, it’s vicious but kinda spot on and hilarious.

    • Murray February 21, 2016 / 11:20 am

      I have a friend who plays what’s called “the non-sequitur game”. Everyone is in on it but one poor soul. The conversation will proceed merrily along but on a previously agreed-upon phrase (I’m so happy I could incubate a sprinkler would do very well) everyone starts talking in total non-sequiturs and takes great pleasure in the one person’s resulting confusion. I think drinking is a prerequisite.

      • Faye February 21, 2016 / 11:43 am

        Very very sly.

  9. Saffron February 21, 2016 / 11:30 am

    At one place I used to work at, a friend and I had an ongoing challenge to insert as many lines from Aliens into work meetings as possible. It’s surprisingly easy.

    I may get in trouble for saying I could incubate a sprinkler though… πŸ˜€

    • Faye February 21, 2016 / 11:42 am


  10. Faye February 21, 2016 / 11:41 am

    I’m going with I’m so hungry I could incubate a sprinkler. No one will doubt my hunger, my happiness is not usually a topic of conversation.

    I keep watching the roll over. Hugest bird feetsies ever. Black is so stylish too.

  11. Alice Shortcake February 21, 2016 / 1:50 pm

    I remember being stalked by an inquisitive emu at an English safari park. Those mad orange eyes…those huge clawed feet…it was like being followed by a theropod dinosaur wearing a ratty fur coat. Fortunately it was only after my half-empty packet of crisps, which it snatched out of my hand before scampering back into the bushes.

    • Mr. Max February 21, 2016 / 4:46 pm

      “It was like being followed by a theropod dinosaur wearing a ratty fur coat.”

      I love this site.

    • Kar February 21, 2016 / 7:22 pm

      Can something that big really scamper or stalk? I’m imagining lumbering.

      • Alice Shortcake February 22, 2016 / 3:59 am

        They can be surprisingly dainty and light on their feet – right up to the moment when they knock you down and kick you to death.

  12. Faye February 21, 2016 / 3:54 pm

    I forgot. I was so mesmerized by the sprinkler. Dinosaur indeed.

    • Faye February 21, 2016 / 5:55 pm

      I watched it again. Yup, you just don’t see that everyday.

  13. Mr. Max February 21, 2016 / 8:30 pm

    I knew some folks who worked at a zoo in NC. They have a huge African savannah exhibit containing all sorts of beasties. They had a male ostrich who was a total d*ck. Every morning he would chase the food truck they used to dispense food, and try kicking in the sides. He’d also kick the other animals in the exhibit. The keepers said he was one of the most dangerous animals in the zoo! One day he decided to mess with a giant eland, and…ummm..it didn’t go too well for him. RIP, Grumpy Ostrich.

    • Kar February 22, 2016 / 12:37 am

      From the Simpsons – Bart gets an Elephant:

      Animals are a lot like people, … like people, some of them are just jerks

      There really is a simpsons quote for every event.

  14. Smartypants February 22, 2016 / 7:25 am

    This whole thread needs to appear in the NTMTOM coffee table book in its entirety. I keep coming back to it and you guys are just slaying me!

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