This… Is… Pompous.Albert

Pompous.Albert is not a grumpy cat. Grumpy is for amateurs. Grumpy is what we are in the morning before coffee. Pompous.Albert transcends Grumpy. Pompous.Albert is evil.

A photo posted by Albert (@pompous.albert) on


Pompous.Albert does not require food. Pompous.Albert nourishes himself from the throbbing ache of your failure and defeat.

A photo posted by Albert (@pompous.albert) on


Pompous.Albert maintains a complete list of those who slight or offend him. These people must be killed. Slowly. Painfully. And if possible, repeatedly.

A photo posted by Albert (@pompous.albert) on

Pompous.Albert ate all the hovertexts in this post. Pompous.Albert was submitted by Edmund H. within seven days because if he didn’t, Pompous.Albert would crawl from his TV and steal his soul. Pompous.Albert is watching you. Always.

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31 thoughts on “This… Is… Pompous.Albert

  1. Lurkingduck March 16, 2016 / 10:55 am

    What did we do that was so bad?

    • Tagatha March 16, 2016 / 11:13 am

      Does it matter? Pompous.Albert sees everything!

  2. Gigi_the cat lady March 16, 2016 / 11:02 am

    Good kitty. Nice kitty.

    Backing away slowly, no sudden movements.

  3. allein March 16, 2016 / 11:02 am

    What kind of kitty is this? He has awesome fur.

  4. beemoused March 16, 2016 / 11:36 am


  5. Julie March 16, 2016 / 12:38 pm


  6. hilz March 16, 2016 / 1:52 pm

    I want to pet him!! He looks like he’d feel like a teddy bear!

  7. Margaret March 16, 2016 / 1:54 pm

    I’d be backing away slowly and once outside I’d run to the store to buy my own coffee maker and pizza!

    On second thought, I’d enter the witness protection program and move out of the country!

    • Faye March 16, 2016 / 8:50 pm


  8. D B March 16, 2016 / 2:17 pm

    Pompous.Albert looks like a loom-er, like he’d sit behind you and try to work up a distinct chill in the atmos….
    Though I can’t be scared of him, really, because his fur reminds me of what my stuffed animals used to look like after many adventures and many washings.

  9. Gigi_the cat lady March 16, 2016 / 3:06 pm

    I just read the list of the happiest countries in the world according to the World Happiness Report Update 2016. I think maybe Pompous Albert took down the United States down a few places all by himslef. LOL!

    1. Denmark
    2. Switzerland
    3. Iceland
    4. Norway
    5. Finland

    The United States ranked 13th in overall happiness, lagging behind Canada (6), the Netherlands (7), New Zealand (8), Australia (9), Sweden (10), Israel (11) and Austria (12). Germany came in 16th place, while other superpowers — the United Kingdom (23), Japan (53), Russia (56) and China (83) — were markedly lower.

    • SAA1451 March 16, 2016 / 9:37 pm

      Why is it that COLD weather seems to be the common denominator in the top countries?
      Is there some causal link between frostbite and happiness?

      • Faye March 16, 2016 / 9:45 pm

        Maybe extreme cold turns on endorphins. Or everyone is snugged up indoors thinking rational happy thoughts in front of warm fire eating and hugging another happy human.

      • Tagatha March 16, 2016 / 11:26 pm

        I’ve always thought that heat makes people angry and that’s why they are constantly fighting in warmer countries…

  10. edmundh March 16, 2016 / 3:36 pm

    I am happy to report that Pompous.Albert did not crawl from my TV and steal my soul (yet). Although I do not know if I am on his “list”.


  11. Lurkingduck March 16, 2016 / 5:06 pm

    “Pompous.Albert maintains a complete list of those who slight or offend him. These people must be killed. Slowly. Painfully. And if possible, repeatedly.”
    I wonder if Pompous.Albert could be “borrowed”. I have a complete list, too.

  12. Starfish March 16, 2016 / 6:45 pm

    If Pompous.Albert teamed up with The Mischievous Cat they could have the whole world underfoot (underpaw?) by lunch.

  13. Kar March 16, 2016 / 6:51 pm

    “Pompous.Albert nourishes himself from the throbbing ache of your failure and defeat.”

    That is so classic NTMTOM.

  14. allein March 16, 2016 / 6:54 pm

    I can’t decide if he would be Grumpy Cat’s bestest friend or archest enemy.

  15. Ellie's Maid March 16, 2016 / 7:40 pm

    OK, don’t hate me for this, but I was never really a fan of Grumpy Cat. Pompous.Albert, however, I love! He’d be a great watch cat or body guard!

    Sort of has that teacher eye thing going on . . .

  16. Faye March 16, 2016 / 7:53 pm

    Sort of like Elf On A Shelf creepy.

  17. Smartypants March 16, 2016 / 8:01 pm

    Oh, I love Pompous Albert – so nice to see him here!

    If I remember right, I heard that he owns an art gallery (he lets his humans pretend that they own it) and they say he’s actually a real sweetie.

    They had a great pic of him sitting in a file drawer (with, naturally, an expression that says “I’m going to pee on your financials…because I’m eeevil!” 😀

    • Kar March 16, 2016 / 9:25 pm

      I bet he sleeps in the curve of your arm/knee at night and then pretends that he was drugged and placed there. Also slipped something that makes him purr.

  18. MTKees March 16, 2016 / 10:25 pm

    To be fair, that is the face I make if I discover pineapple on my pizza, as well.

    • fkaWaldenPond March 16, 2016 / 11:22 pm

      I thought the same Mtkees; everything else looks great save for the darn pineapple.

      • Lurkingduck March 17, 2016 / 1:06 am

        What’s wrong with pineapple?

  19. 6rabbits March 16, 2016 / 10:40 pm

    Okay, that is one very scary looking cat! The fur looks so soft, but The slanting yellow eyes are freaking me out!

  20. Ellie March 17, 2016 / 2:43 am

    This post is hilarious! And I thought my cat could look evil sometimes… I’m terrified of Pompous.Albert. I bet he’s a softy really.

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