Does your nose break out in colorful dots? You may be one of the estimated two million people who suffer from sprinkles. In the past, sprinkles could only be treated with rhubarb juice and prayer, but now there’s Placeben®, the once-hourly pill that reduces sprinkles by as much as
64 23.9 four percent*. Ask your doctor if Placeben is right for you, and do it fast before we raise the price. If he says no, ask again using a high squeaky voice. By the way, we raised the price while you were reading that. Placeben: Get Back in the Game, Whatever the Hell That Means.™
Via Imgur. *Side effects may include sweating, twitching, awkward itching, warts and rashes, splotches in splashes, memory loss, memory loss, cold feet, hot lips, hawk eye, major burns, memory loss, tennis elbow, jazz hands, Trump hair, an unhealthy interest in badgers, fear of ninja attacks, actual ninja attacks, phantom tollbooth syndrome, spontaneous gargling, uncontrollable levitation, and memory loss. Do not take Placeben if you are Presbyterian or think you might be Presbyterian, taking dancing lessons, have two or more wooden appendages, enjoy Ayn Rand novels, faint at the sound of the word “topsoil,” or have frequent contact with penguins. Oh, we just raised the price again. If nose begins to smoke or play harpsichord music while taking Placeben, that’s supposed to happen.