The Crawl of the Wild

Do you have a fear of small animals? Do you feel awkward in social situations with small animals? Are you very gullible and have lots of money? If you answered “yes” to these questions, you may have a condition known as SAP (Small Animal Phobia). You might even be a SAP and not know it!

Fortunately, there’s help. At the Institute for Advanced Hypochondria, you can get used to being crawled on in a supervised, controlled setting.

Treatments include basic kitten therapy all the way to advanced piggies-on-your-neck therapy.

Submitted by Andrew Y and Murray C. This strange and wonderful scene comes to us via Suetoshi Farm in Japan.

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33 thoughts on “The Crawl of the Wild

  1. Mariana Paes April 18, 2016 / 8:52 am

    I see that the procedure is carefully supervised by hamster-dog. Sounds legit. Packing bags as we speak. Anyone want to split a cab once we get there?

    • Phred's Mom April 18, 2016 / 9:00 am

      Count me in, MP, though we may need a bus by the
      end of the day.

    • Alice Shortcake April 18, 2016 / 9:02 am

      Thank goodness I’m not the only person who will forever refer to capybaras (capybarae?) as hamster dogs.

    • Debg April 18, 2016 / 9:03 am

      I’m in too!

      • beemoused April 18, 2016 / 11:19 am

        And me! I’m in desperate need of kitten therapy. Packing noms!

        • 6rabbits April 18, 2016 / 9:26 pm

          I could def use some kitten therapy! Packing my bags!✈️

          • Murray C. August 5, 2016 / 2:17 pm

            Me, too!

            I think the Hamster Dog is the attending physician/therapist in this case – a complicated one, to be sure, with so many species involved.

  2. allein April 18, 2016 / 8:56 am

    My parents have a friend who was always afraid of our Miniature Schnauzer (and don’t even mention the hamsters!).

    She used to have two Olde English Sheepdogs, who died a few years ago, and now has another. But she was afraid of the Miniature Schnauzer.

    • Annette April 18, 2016 / 9:05 am

      My friend had a Miniature Schnauzer back when we were teens and that dog had quite the unpredictable disposition. I wasn’t afraid of him, but I WAS super cautious around him. If only there had been a hamster dog around keeping an eye on things.

      • allein April 18, 2016 / 9:13 am

        Lisa was nothing to be afraid of as long as unauthorized persons* didn’t try to pick her up. That was the only time she’d try to bite.

        *Authorized persons were my mother and the aforementioned friend’s daughter, for some reason.

  3. Susan April 18, 2016 / 9:08 am

    Skip the therapy, I’m fine with small animals. However, I need the supervision of a hamster dog STAT.

    • allein April 18, 2016 / 9:21 am

      I’m fine with small animals, but I wouldn’t turn down some kitten therapy.

  4. Gigi_the cat lady April 18, 2016 / 9:32 am

    I need all the therapy I can get IF it’s provided by kitten and supervised by a hamster dog.

    P.S. don’t worry Alice Shortcake, all the NTMTOMers will forever call capybaras hamster dogs.

    P.P.S please save me a seat on that therapy bus!

  5. myiglets April 18, 2016 / 9:50 am

    I’ve had treatments at the Institute for Advanced Hypochondria. It was verrry expensive but worth it. I’m now looking at a treatment for my Fear of Otter Lips.

    • Faye April 18, 2016 / 3:40 pm

      Lol. Otterlipophobia. Tough that one.

      • myiglets April 18, 2016 / 6:14 pm

        Ha! Fear of Otter Lips, otherwise known as FOOL.

        • Faye April 18, 2016 / 6:20 pm

          Great acronym.

  6. Faye April 18, 2016 / 10:04 am

    That’s Doctor Sigmund Hamster Dog if you don’t mind.

  7. Murray Callahan April 18, 2016 / 10:11 am

    Thanks NTMTOM and Andy Y for actually managing to get this video – I tried several times but it just wouldn’t download so that this is the first time I’m actually getting to see it even tho’ I sent it in sight unseen – I mean, pony, kittens “hamster dog” (I keep thinking Piggy dog since capybaras are related to guinea pigs, but I think Hamster dog seems to have solidified its lead in the minds and hearts of NTMTOMers)

    Check out the little belly on the pony! I want some of that! And I’m packing as we speak – what kinds of treats do HamDees like?

  8. tagatha April 18, 2016 / 10:34 am

    I don’t know what I have but I’m sure my condition would be improved by letting kittens crawl all over me.

    Also, that second vid looks like the revenge of the bacon: two piggies lying on my neck? I wouldn’t be able to breathe (though they’re adorable). Kittens, however…

  9. Lurkingduck April 18, 2016 / 11:17 am

    Hamster dog looks so regal. “We are amused, but we will not show it.”
    Would a little crown work here? And who is so lucky as to get the joy of hamster dogs, fuzzy ponies and squeaky kittens?

    • allein April 18, 2016 / 11:34 am

      Why, the Japanese, of course.

  10. Julie April 18, 2016 / 12:02 pm

    This will be the best and weirdest 2 minutes of my day.

  11. Luv Bunny April 18, 2016 / 12:39 pm

    Sign me up too! At this rate, we’ll need to go by airplane, if this is in Japan. I’m tired of humans walking all over me. I’d be so much better off with cute, small animals crawling around or over me with a hamster dog as supervisor.
    How did” hamster dog” come about–is this a NTMTOM creation, or need I ask?

    • Not That Mike The Other Mike April 18, 2016 / 12:44 pm

      “Hamster dog” was not my idea, but I quoted it in a post a while back and it seems to have caught on here.

  12. sugitomo April 18, 2016 / 6:45 pm

    Uh…what exactly is going on here?? It opens up with a kid crying that sounds exactly like one of my cats when he cries at night (yeah, he does sound exactly like that and it can be a little creepy). Then it’s a bundle of redonk kittens, crawling on a sleepy bebeh donkey. And then a capybara is acting like he sees none of this.

    • allein April 18, 2016 / 7:11 pm

      I watched on my tablet at work before so I had to turn the sound way down; just watched again after reading your comment. Man, there’s a lot of noise going on in that first video! Not very therapeutic!

    • 6rabbits April 18, 2016 / 9:28 pm

      And are the necks of ponies/donkeys especially warm…?

      • Kar April 19, 2016 / 1:48 am

        Necks in general are warm and snuggly. I can testify that my cat’s and my boyfriend’s necks are very snuggly.

  13. Kar April 18, 2016 / 10:04 pm

    Those feline parents do not look impressed by that teenage babysitter. First she lets the kids walk all over her, but worse she invited her hamster-dog boyfriend over. And they specifically told her, No Boys Over!!!

    And I suspect that NTMTOM can recognize a S A P at 100 feet. He could probably convince people that he really is a Nigerian Prince who just needs some assistance with some legal fees…..

    • SAA1451 April 18, 2016 / 11:10 pm

      You totally deserve a golf-clap for that!

  14. Ziggy April 19, 2016 / 12:22 pm

    Cute… donkey’s all like “why are humans putting cute stuff on me?”. Also, I have a life goal of meeting/petting a capybara in my lifetime!

  15. Doug August 5, 2016 / 12:47 pm

    I’ve heard of pigs in a blanket, but never pigs as a blanket.

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