My Work Is Done, Whatever it Was

  1. STHLM DG SANDALERApril 21, 2016 / 12:29 pm

    I have to show my thanks to you just for bailing me out of this type of difficulty. Because of looking through the online world and obtaining recommendations which are not productive, I thought my entire life was over. Living minus the approaches to the issues you have solved by way of your main posting is a serious case, and those which could have in a wrong way damaged my career if I had not encountered your site. Your personal knowledge and kindness in taking care of the whole thing was helpful. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if I hadn’t come upon such a step like this. I am able to at this moment look ahead to my future. Thank you so much for this reliable and results-oriented help. I will not think twice to refer your web sites to anybody who will need recommendations about this problem.

    • NOT THAT MIKE THE OTHER MIKEApril 21, 2016 / 6:53 pm

      Dear Spambot:

      You are welcome most for the assistance with your urgent matter. It is always gratifying to help people who have difficulty with important health or possibly financial topics. If only more persons were to consult me in a timely fashion, then perhaps more careers could be saved or golf scores lowered or maybe fuel efficiency improved. I look forward to helping any associates you may refer with their vexing questions regarding reconstructive dentistry or vulture husbandry, and I wish you good luck with your upcoming biopsy or tax audit or performance review or fraternity initiation or grand jury hearing or appearance on “Maury” or Haitian voodoo exorcism or whatever the hell you were freaking out over.

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23 thoughts on “My Work Is Done, Whatever it Was

  1. Patty April 21, 2016 / 7:54 pm

    I think it’s spambot for “I spent time looking at the internet and found nothing worthwhile. Then I found your website, and laughed at the funny pictures, smiled at the cute ones, fell over ded from the super cute ones. Now my life is complete, and I thank you for that.”

    • Not That Mike The Other Mike April 21, 2016 / 7:57 pm

      I literally saved his artificial life with cuteness. Or maybe his career. It’s a bit hard to pin down. 🙂

  2. Smartypants April 21, 2016 / 7:56 pm

    Oh good, I had actually just been thinking “We haven’t had a Dear Spambot post in a while.”

    This is one for the coffee table book, and Mr./Mrs./Ms./Admiral/Czar/Other Sandaler totally deserved it. “Vulture husbandry”! 😀

    • Emmberrann April 21, 2016 / 9:54 pm


  3. Ilonka April 21, 2016 / 8:08 pm

    Loved it! What I’m finding scary though, is that the grammar and logic seems to be improving, or, my brain is devolving … Always a possibility!

    • SAA1451 April 22, 2016 / 7:33 am

      It does appear that there is improvement.
      We must be careful.
      When spambot passes the Turing test, it will be the first sign that it is self-aware and that Arnold Schwarzenegger is about to be sent back from the future to kill us all with bad puns.

  4. Faye April 21, 2016 / 8:13 pm

    Now that you mention it my vultures aren’t as lively as they used to be. I would appreciate any assistance in this matter. Please contact me after the upcoming biopsy of my tax audit is complete. Thank you NTMTOM.

  5. allein April 21, 2016 / 8:14 pm

    “or performance review”

    I have that coming up soon; I have to write my self evaluation. I hear you’re good at that sort of thing…any advice for me?

    • Lurkingduck April 21, 2016 / 11:32 pm

      Yes. Maybe. Pick out what might be a less-than-100 percent about you, in relation to the job, and show how you are improving that aspect, and see if you can provide a success story to prove it. But phrase it carefully.
      “I have been working on XYZ, in order to improve my ability to yadda. I believe I have been successful in doing this, as recently, the smelly socks department head asked me to incubate his/her sprinkler, and was very pleased with the results.”
      Also, pick your best feature/ability, one that is well-known, and show how useful it is for your job.
      This way, they see both how you are good, and how you make yourself better, for them.
      Just a thought…

      • allein April 22, 2016 / 8:52 am

        Thanks 🙂

        Part of my problem this year is that I started in a new department a few months ago, and have technically had three jobs in the past year (due to a reorganization of my previous department). On top of that, my boss (who I came back to this department to work for) left us rather..unexpectedly…a few weeks ago so we are reporting to his boss who really isn’t familiar with our work in the first place. On top of that, we never set goals for this year at my last review, so I’m basically making them up (just listing the big things I did and commenting on them). The good thing is that our current boss said to keep it short. I have no doubt that we are all going to get an average score so we all get the average percent increase, anyway. He forwarded us the instructions for managers (which we probably weren’t supposed to see) along with the self evaluation form, which has the raise structure listed and says that the overall increase for the department has to be a certain percentage, so either someone gets more and someone else gets less, or everyone gets the same.

        • Lurkingduck April 22, 2016 / 11:50 am

          We are all wishing you luck. 👍🏻

          • allein April 22, 2016 / 12:01 pm

            Thanks 🙂

            I’m not really that worried. It is what it is.

  6. allein April 21, 2016 / 8:17 pm

    Speaking of features we haven’t seen in a while, back in November you did A Thought for Today. I was hoping that would become a thing. (I still have that quote on my desk at work.)

  7. Birdcage April 21, 2016 / 8:40 pm

    I am able to at this moment to look ahead to your future spambot coffee table book.

  8. Lurkingduck April 21, 2016 / 8:41 pm

    Mike, I love you. Don’t ever go away.

  9. Gigi_the cat lady April 21, 2016 / 8:47 pm

    My vulture’s golf score are sky hight, can you help with that?

  10. Kar April 21, 2016 / 9:28 pm

    A masochistic side of me want to diagram that entry.

    Its like Faulkner on meth delivering an elevator pitch.

    • Julie April 22, 2016 / 9:29 am

      “Faulkner on meth delivering an elevator pitch”!!!!!

      I love it!!!!!

  11. Lurkingduck April 21, 2016 / 9:38 pm

    “Those which could have in a wrong way damaged my career “.
    Is there a RIGHT way to damage a career?

  12. JenDeyan April 21, 2016 / 10:49 pm

    Wow that one is a dozy! If spambot messages weren’t so annoying, I’d almost be impressed.

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