35 thoughts on “The Key to My Heart

  1. allein June 1, 2016 / 12:21 pm

    How are you posting from a car trunk? Is it one of them fancy new models that come with wifi?

    • Not That Mike The Other Mike June 1, 2016 / 12:35 pm

      I could be on a cellular connection, OR…

      This could be one of those creepy stories about that one time that Stacy Kreebler kept getting texts from her ex-boyfriend saying he was locked in his car trunk and she still had his spare key and please come let him out but she just thought he was goofing until her friends asked her if she’d seem him since he’d been gone a long time and just then she got another text from him saying please let me out and so she gets the spare key and rushes over but when she opens the trunk she discovers he’d been dead for three days and his phone was still in his hand SO WHERE WERE THE TEXTS COMING FROM???! OMG SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!1!

      • allein June 1, 2016 / 12:52 pm

        Um…how did he get in the trunk? Should I be calling the police to your house?

        • Not That Mike The Other Mike June 1, 2016 / 12:58 pm

          Naw, I’m just imitating the style of the spooky urban legends that circulate on message boards. If there’s a “run-on sentence police,” you could definitely give them a call. 😉

          • allein June 1, 2016 / 1:02 pm

            When I was in college, I had to write an autobiographical essay in Grammar B. One of the elements is the labyrinthine sentence. A grammatically correct, properly punctuated, really long sentence. Most fun paper I ever wrote.

              • allein June 1, 2016 / 1:17 pm

                I also got to include a smug footnote pointing out that a particular word, which my professor had marked on my rough draft, was in fact spelled correctly. (Let’s just say she was not my favorite professor. 😛 )

                13,955 words! Wow!

                • Phred's Mom June 1, 2016 / 6:21 pm

                  It’s fun when you can do that.

            • Kar June 1, 2016 / 1:57 pm

              Do you just pretend you’re William Faulkner hunting a Bear or something?

              I swear some of his novelas are one complex sentence.

              • allein June 1, 2016 / 2:23 pm

                Ha! The Sound and the Fury is the only book in college for which I broke down and bought the Cliff’s Notes.

      • beemoused June 1, 2016 / 2:58 pm

        That is indeed a WTF moment–and I totally agree with your commentary about Criminal Minds unsubs–that’s just freaking creepy. What is **wrong** with some people?

      • Gigi_the cat lady June 1, 2016 / 5:43 pm

        OK that’s is offensive even to me and I’m usually hard to offend!

  2. Smartypants June 1, 2016 / 12:58 pm

    “We traced the calls…they’re coming from inside the house!”

  3. Kar June 1, 2016 / 1:55 pm

    When I last bought a car the salesman made a point of showing me (a single woman on her own) the lever in the trunk that would oven the door. Just in case you ever got abducted and thrown into it…”

    Seriously, that was his sales pitch.

    • Julie June 1, 2016 / 2:32 pm

      But did you buy the car? Ha ha ha…

      • Kar June 1, 2016 / 2:46 pm

        After my WTF look he backtracked and said, “I bet your dad would like that feature.” Like my dad was buying it for me. Or he was even at the car dealership.

        Yes. I bought the car because it was the one stickshift that fit my requirements within a hundred miles.

        • Julie June 1, 2016 / 3:11 pm

          I can’t believe a salesperson would say that to anyone who knows how to drive a stick shift.

          • Kar June 1, 2016 / 3:36 pm

            Not sure if that’s aimed at my intelligence or my age.

            One is high and the other is low. Guess which is which.

            • Julie June 1, 2016 / 4:05 pm

              Aimed at neither age nor intelligence. Directed at overall general bad-a$$ed-ness.

              Anyone who can drive a stick probably knows a thing or two about cars.

        • Faye June 1, 2016 / 10:16 pm

          Creeper thinking.

    • debg June 1, 2016 / 2:33 pm

      I think that’s pretty standard on new cars now. My last two have had them. Though I think *I* mentioned the scenario in which I would need that feature, not the salesperson.

        • beemoused June 1, 2016 / 3:01 pm

          Yes–interior releases have been required for a long time–I think it came out of a case down here in FL in the late ’90s where a community college student was grabbed and locked in his own truck and left there for at least the better part of a horribly hot Central Florida day–it may even have been longer. He came out of the ordeal with significant brain damage and physical impairments from literally being baked alive. I know there were other cases of such occurrences, but this one really grabbed attention and I think was a tipping point for the new requirements.

  4. Gigi_the cat lady June 1, 2016 / 2:19 pm

    When I was a girl my older sister’s boyfriend had a little Triumph 2 seater sports car. For my 13th birthday they took me to see the rock opera Tommy (by The Who) It was playing in the next city 26 miles away and I had to travel in the truck of the car all the way there and back.
    And I didn’t mind one bit 😀

    • Kar June 1, 2016 / 2:40 pm

      Dude, that’s roomy. Growing up I had to ride in the well of a volkswagen beetle. Folded up like an origami snake.

      • allein June 1, 2016 / 3:08 pm

        I remember riding in the back of the station wagon. Plymouth Volare.

        • Julie June 1, 2016 / 3:13 pm

          Me too!! I loved that back seat where you could wave hello to all the cars behind you.

      • Gigi_the cat lady June 1, 2016 / 5:49 pm

        I remember doing going all the way to New Brunswick from Québec but I was maybe 4 years old so it was very comfy.

      • 6rabbits June 2, 2016 / 7:38 am

        Lol @ Kar re: “folded like an origami snake”😂

    • Faye June 1, 2016 / 6:57 pm

      I got frozen inside my two door hatchback Civic (that was a total lemon before lemon laws but that’s a different horror story) because the doors wouldn’t open and the windows wouldn’t roll down. I was determined not to panic. So I calmly convinced myself I could pop the hatch from the inside. NOPE NO LEVER!!!! I started to panic and drove to a gas station just as the heater melted one window and I realized I wasn’t trapped if I just waited a bit.

  5. Luv Bunny June 1, 2016 / 4:30 pm

    I’ve read the comments because I didn’t get a picture. I still don’t “see” what all of you all talking about. I have pictures of NTMTOM’s other posts.

    • Not That Mike The Other Mike June 1, 2016 / 4:45 pm

      Oh, this isn’t a “picture” post, it’s one of my “Dear Spambot” posts in which I reply to messages sent by computer systems.

    • Smartypants June 1, 2016 / 8:42 pm

      Hi Gigi, replying to your test. It’s 8:42 PM here (U.S. Eastern time) – Wednesday.

      How’s the Edit feature working for you guys? I find that it’s missing when I first post, but appears when I hit Refresh.

      Have a good evening!

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