And Now, Dad Jokes

“Three-legged catΒ walks into a saloon and says ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.'”

“Know what I do when my son misbehaves? I put him in timeowt! Get it?”

“Sure, I may be old, but I have the heart of a lion… and a lifetime ban from the zoo.”


Via Imgur. “His snaggletooth aka the ‘personality tooth’ recently had to get pulled from my cat Griffin Von Porkchop. I thought he might look a bit more normal afterwards… I was wrong.”

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19 thoughts on “And Now, Dad Jokes

  1. allein June 22, 2016 / 8:56 am

    Um…those eyes are making me dizzy..

  2. Gigi_the cat lady June 22, 2016 / 9:03 am

    Griffin Von Porkchop, the face that broke a thousand mirrors πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    I can’t stop giggling when I look at him, he’s so weirdly cute!

  3. allein June 22, 2016 / 9:03 am

    What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

    Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
    She had a litter of mittens.

    What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
    A car-pet

    What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?

    What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order?
    Claw Enforcement.

    What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
    Mice Krispies.

    How many cats can you put into an empty box?
    Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.

    What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
    A peeping tom.

    If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
    Their paws.

    • Emmberrann June 22, 2016 / 9:09 am

      Do you have kids in the house as well as cats? These are hilarious! Allein, you have a fan over here!

      • allein June 22, 2016 / 9:16 am

        Nope, just Google. πŸ˜‰


    • Murray C. June 22, 2016 / 1:15 pm

      πŸ‘to the 10th power – and this is a standing “O” – at the very least. Wow.

      • allein June 22, 2016 / 1:22 pm

        I cannot take credit. I would cite the source but I found most of them on multiple sites with no attribution so who knows who wrote them. I just googled cat jokes.

          • allein June 22, 2016 / 10:23 pm

            Thanks! πŸ™‚

  4. Faye June 22, 2016 / 9:49 am

    Take my mate, please.

    Hilarious all around. The expression. The tie. All the jokes.

    He looks just like Rodney Dangerfield.
    Can’t get no respect either.

  5. Faye June 22, 2016 / 9:50 am

    Great hover.

  6. Murray C. June 22, 2016 / 1:16 pm

    Check out the expression on the other cat! What’s THAT about???

    • Faye June 22, 2016 / 7:20 pm

      Scary. I’d be afraid to fall asleep.

  7. beemoused June 22, 2016 / 1:36 pm

    He’s adorable! And that name!! **falls over ded**

  8. Murray C. June 22, 2016 / 5:18 pm

    Is that an Eton tie? A half-eaten tie? I think he needs a little blue coat and a beanie with a little brim.

  9. Laura June 22, 2016 / 7:45 pm

    I swear I’ve seen Griffin von Porkchop elsewhere online. The tie makes him look so distinguished, though!

    And if you want to see the ultimate dad joke, go to author John Scalzi’s blog Whatever and scroll down to the fake album cover he put up for Father’s Day. He lives to tease his daughter and her boyfriend. I seriously don’t know if he’ll ever be able to top that one.

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