The Poofiest Alien

To think it came to this. If my brother Craniorbs could see what I’ve become, I would be banished from the Pan-Stellar Spacing Guild and thrown to the Voracious Grominids of Bleen. Fortunately, the long-range transponder was damaged in the crash landing, so they will never learn of my fate.

My mission was doomed from the start. I staggered from the wreckage into a settlement, and one of the Earth creatures captured me. Even though their brains are small compared to the enhanced Craniorb brain, they thwarted my efforts to escape with primitive doorknobs that are not even mind-controlled. What irony.

Now I take every day as it comes, making the best of it. The creatures are kind, I must confess, and the food they serve me is remarkably similar to laser-braised Gleef meat. I just sit with them in the park, trying to forget.


Via Imgur and sender-inner Megan W.

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34 thoughts on “The Poofiest Alien

  1. Julie July 25, 2016 / 9:05 am

    This dog has better hair than me.

  2. Faye July 25, 2016 / 9:05 am

    Maybe his large brain can compensate for his lack of height. Short but cute!

    Tastes like Gleef! Count me in.

  3. dubravkamcvmd July 25, 2016 / 9:08 am

    Trying to forget! Depending how the election goes, I may join the Craniorb in the park and try to forget also.

    • allein 🐾 July 25, 2016 / 9:23 am

      I’ll be right there with you. My hair will never be this poofy, though.

  4. birdcage July 25, 2016 / 9:12 am

    E.T. call home?

  5. Laura July 25, 2016 / 9:37 am

    Tastes like Gleef, not Breen?

    Or am I the only Babylon V fan here?

    • Faye July 25, 2016 / 10:18 am

      I watched. Can’t quote.

    • Gigi_the cat lady July 25, 2016 / 11:27 am

      Funny, I can’t think of any quotes from Bab 5, all that sticks in my head is Zathras and The One.

      • Laura July 25, 2016 / 12:04 pm

        I clearly need to rewatch B5 because I can’t think of any quotes, either, except for Vir doing that wonderful little finger wave and saying, “Bye bye.” Which was perhaps the longest-set-up bit of continuity I have ever seen in a TV show!

        But I can’t eat Swedish meatballs any more, either, without thinking — and often saying out loud, “Oh, good! Breen!”

        • Murray C. July 25, 2016 / 1:07 pm

          I have not a clue what you’re all talking about – but never mind, it wouldn’t make much sense to me anyway. I am impressed with what a knowledgeable group you are!
          I do feel for that poor pooch – how does it scratch its ears? And the time it must take to achieve this dubious look.

  6. debg July 25, 2016 / 9:42 am

    I can’t believe doggie doesn’t tip over from the weight of its hair.

  7. Gigi_the cat lady July 25, 2016 / 9:42 am

    I could really use a Beetle Brox Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster right about now.

    • allein 🐾 July 25, 2016 / 9:52 am


      • D B July 25, 2016 / 10:07 am

        Ha! You obviously know where your towel is….

        • Faye July 25, 2016 / 10:19 am

          I’m panicking!

          • allein 🐾 July 25, 2016 / 10:24 am

        • allein 🐾 July 25, 2016 / 10:26 am

          Always. (Right now it’s on my steering wheel in hopes that I will not burn my hands when I leave work today. After using it this morning to wipe up the raindrops I dragged in on my umbrella.)

        • Gigi_the cat lady July 25, 2016 / 11:21 am

          Glad to be of service

      • Gigi_the cat lady July 25, 2016 / 11:17 am

        He does but I prefer the original Marvin : “Your plastic pal who’s fun to be with”

  8. Puddleglum July 25, 2016 / 9:54 am

    Bob Ross dog thinks a happy little tree should go right. About. There.

    • allein 🐾 July 25, 2016 / 10:22 am

      • Murray C. July 25, 2016 / 1:04 pm


  9. Janice July 25, 2016 / 11:09 am

    Did I miss the hover text?

      • allein 🐾 July 25, 2016 / 11:14 am

        Merci beaucoup!

      • Gigi_the cat lady July 25, 2016 / 1:12 pm

        Mr. Roundhead is a cousin of the Coneheads?

        • Clairdelune July 26, 2016 / 12:54 am

          Only distantly related, distantly enough to be legally able to mate and produce what is known as the Ice Cream Cone Puppers. Delighful breed.

      • Clairdelune July 26, 2016 / 12:48 am

        LOVE the gently snide hovertext…. ah, la petite Franςaise… toujour très jolie, non?
        PS I am assuming the doggie is a girl… if not, the poor baby is going to be somewhat confused.

  10. Duckie July 25, 2016 / 11:48 am

    Poor puppers. He’s also trying to forget about his bell bottom legs and the lace collar he has on.

  11. Muppet2171 July 25, 2016 / 11:54 am

    Me on a humid day.

  12. Emmberrann July 25, 2016 / 4:34 pm

    I gots no hovers! Wot did it say?

    • Not That Mike The Other Mike July 25, 2016 / 4:43 pm

      “I just tell people I come from France.” I had forgotten the hovertext when writing the post and when someone pointed out my error, I just added the first idea that popped into my head.

  13. fkaWaldenPond July 25, 2016 / 11:02 pm

    I seriously want to hire this dog’s stylist. Talk about bringing it to the playground.

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