I Have Emm-Aye-Seen the Future

It was the year 3257, and the Worldwide Corporate Wars had reached their ultimate conclusion. Centuries of mergers and mega-mergers left just twenty companies, then six, then two, until all of Earth was absorbed, owned, and controlled by just one brand: Disney.


And thus began the Mickeyfication Directives. Henceforth, all creatures would conform to a unified standard of cuteness, starting with genetically modified ears.


But it didn’t stop there. All citizens were required to wear three-fingered gloves, short red pants, and big yellow shoes at all times. Those who refused to comply were whisked away to Reeducation Theater and forced to view The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes until they cracked.


OK, here’s what’s really happening: Pet owners in Japan are having fun with a new app that adds mouse ears to photos of pets, because apparently they weren’t cute enough already. From squeaker-inner Andrew Y.

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24 thoughts on “I Have Emm-Aye-Seen the Future

  1. allein 🌼 July 29, 2016 / 3:03 pm

    I, for one, welcome our new rodent overlords.

  2. Laura July 29, 2016 / 3:03 pm

    That’s just….disturbing. Sometimes Japanese weirdness is a little TOO weird!

  3. Phred's Mom July 29, 2016 / 3:27 pm

    Good Grief.

    • 6rabbits July 29, 2016 / 4:21 pm

      Yeah. Now I’ve seen everything!

  4. AJ July 29, 2016 / 3:33 pm

    Whew, what a relief to know it’s only an app. I first was thinking okay maybe one animal had some weird ears but then all of them?????? And what is in the drinking water of Japan, they come up with some bizarre stuff. Remember some of the crazy game shows?

    • Murray C. July 29, 2016 / 3:45 pm

      Oooh, yeah, those game shows were (are?) too weird. These ears look like radar dishes.

      • Duckie 🐥 July 29, 2016 / 4:19 pm

        Murray, I most humbly apologize. I read your comment over the rim of a glass of iced tea, and I swear it said “These ears look like radishes”!
        Suffice to say, I must now de-ice tea my iPad.
        What a beautiful day!

        • allein 🌼 July 29, 2016 / 4:24 pm

          They could be sliced – er, miced radishes…

          • Murray C. July 29, 2016 / 5:27 pm

            Allein, you are remarkable. And thank you, Duckie, for a most fine misreading of my post – it added immeasurably to it.

            • BB/VA July 29, 2016 / 6:26 pm

              I love presbyopia moments! I have them all the time. You wouldn’t believe how I read a brand name once….(it was for a toy car called the PinesMobile).

              • Murray C. July 29, 2016 / 7:04 pm

                Hmmmm. Let me see……..😜

              • Smartypants July 29, 2016 / 7:10 pm

                Hehe, I had a moment this week that was almost as good – walked into a convenience store where I could’ve sworn the sign read “This is a snake-free zone”…!

              • Emmberrann July 30, 2016 / 8:42 am

                Had a moment not so long ago where “medical clinic for cats” became “musical clinic for cats”. Gave me the giggles every time I drove by for days.

                • debg July 30, 2016 / 1:36 pm

                  Video Warehouse, years ago, became Video Whorehouse in my twisted mind.

  5. Starfish July 29, 2016 / 3:43 pm

    Yeah, this one’s a little too silly, even for Japan. Not to say that I wouldn’t have some fun with this app.

  6. Gigi_the cat lady July 29, 2016 / 3:49 pm

    That is just Too weird even for the big J.

  7. Jan July 29, 2016 / 5:02 pm

    Does the app work on people??? That might be lol-worthy!

  8. Em July 29, 2016 / 5:09 pm

    This post reminds me that at the Cute Overload site, there was a focus on weird and possibly cute stuff from Japan. We focused on no other country’s cute sensibility so intensely– as I used to live there, at times I felt uncomfortable with the posts. Not always. Japan is about the size of California. Not sure how to articulate my feelings about this. Imagine the same lens turned on the US, or a region of the US, time again. It’s also a post that as I read through the commentary, it doesn’t bring out the kindness in us.

    • Murray C. July 29, 2016 / 5:38 pm

      Em, I think we do turn a lens on the oddball cute things – from here, especially – animals dressed as food being one example. But that is somehow more familiar. I admit I know nothing about other countries’ obsessions with cuteness – I think the Japanese happen to be extra good at it, and it’s a bit exotic for us – a different sensibility that to us can sometimes seem a little far fetched. I appreciate your letting us know your reaction because we don’t want to be unkind in our silliness, certainly.

    • 6rabbits July 29, 2016 / 11:29 pm

      I don’t remember CO’s focus on Japan’s skill at cuteness as being unkind, but rather envious; but then, I’ve never lived in Japan. I thought CO acted very jealous of that ability and bemoaned our (U.S.’s) lack of skill in that area. Like, why can’t WE be that good at creating cute things?! I’m sorry it made you uncomfortable, EM.😞

    • Clairdelune July 30, 2016 / 3:31 pm

      Em, I lived there also, for a whole decade, and don’t feel there is anything offensive in this post nor there was anything offensive in CO’s focus on Japanese passion for Cuteness on steroids. We are puzzled by them at times, and they are equally puzzled by some of our ways as I was often reminded, but I never felt offended. It’s a matter of mutual cultural exploration. I was told they thought of us as somewhat uncouth because we lack their elaborate code for social interaction, and I couldn’t help but snicker/snort whenever I visited someone’s home and saw the ubiquitous pair of “toilet slippers” in front of the bathroom, especially when decorated with yellow ducklings or little boys busy “watering” … we had many good laughs at each other’s foibles, all in good fun, never mean.

      • 6rabbits July 31, 2016 / 2:37 am

        Ehhem…What are “toilet slippers” pray tell?

  9. BB/VA July 29, 2016 / 6:28 pm

    Hey now, my husband and I saw that movie on our first date!

  10. Kar July 29, 2016 / 10:17 pm

    This is straight out of Michael Eisner’s dreams. That man made Trump look un-ambitious.

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