It was the year 3257, and the Worldwide Corporate Wars had reached their ultimate conclusion. Centuries of mergers and mega-mergers left just twenty companies, then six, then two, until all of Earth was absorbed, owned, and controlled by just one brand: Disney.
And thus began the Mickeyfication Directives. Henceforth, all creatures would conform to a unified standard of cuteness, starting with genetically modified ears.
But it didn’t stop there. All citizens were required to wear three-fingered gloves, short red pants, and big yellow shoes at all times. Those who refused to comply were whisked away to Reeducation Theater and forced to view The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes until they cracked.
OK, here’s what’s really happening: Pet owners in Japan are having fun with a new app that adds mouse ears to photos of pets, because apparently they weren’t cute enough already. From squeaker-inner Andrew Y.