If You Carrot All, Read This

While Cutetropolis is primarily a humorous publication, from time to time this space must address serious issues of global importance. It is at just such a moment that we now shine the light of Truth upon a barbaric practice that even in this enlightened century debases the very soul of humanity: Baby carrots.

Every day, in every part of the world, helpless innocent baby carrots are violently torn from their families, crammed into plastic bags, and sold as a delicacy, often accompanied with exotic condiments such as ranch dressing.

Efforts to appeal to the farming industry have met with indifference, and in extreme cases, restraining orders. It falls to us, the carrot-consuming public, to shun this vile practice so that baby carrots may enjoy happy childhoods free from fear. Boycott Baby Carrots.


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24 thoughts on “If You Carrot All, Read This

  1. Muppet2171 August 3, 2016 / 10:51 am

    Dead from hovertext!

    • Mich Patt August 3, 2016 / 4:27 pm

      I’m not dead yet… 😉

      • allein 🐾 August 3, 2016 / 5:03 pm

        Well he will be soon…

    • E Z Reader August 4, 2016 / 7:41 am

      I’m envious, can’t get hovertexts. Have only an iPad and at the Apple Store they told me it couldn’t accommodate hovertexts. Every time someone comments on one, I get more jealous. Any hints from the technically savvy?

      • Not That Mike The Other Mike August 4, 2016 / 7:54 am

        Depending on your version of the iPad operating system, you may be able to tap and hold on an image, which will bring up a menu with the hovertext at the top. If not, then the advice you got at the Apple store was probably correct.

      • 6rabbits August 4, 2016 / 11:35 am

        I have an ipad (generation 2) and I can get hovers by the method Mike mentioned above. For Cute Overload hovers, I had had to download Photon (a browser similar to Safari, Firefox, etc.–it was free) to get them. Search the web, if those don’t work. It annoyed me terribly when I couldn’t get the hovertext! Good luck!👍🏼

  2. 6rabbits August 3, 2016 / 10:51 am

    I don’t think I would ever be able to eat these carrots! Top notch story, NTMTOM! 😄

  3. Faye August 3, 2016 / 11:08 am

    An obvious case of separation anxiety.

    Love the story Mike.

  4. allein 🐾 August 3, 2016 / 11:13 am

    This must have come from the Cutetropolis Farmer’s Market…

  5. debg August 3, 2016 / 11:13 am

    LOLing at work again. Thank goodness my coworkers understand me.

  6. belphebe August 3, 2016 / 12:48 pm

    Is it really a boycott if you wouldn’t eat the product under any circumstances? I really don’t care for carrots at all. I try to set them free from my veggie platters, but I suppose it’s already too late for them. The damage has been done. Poor things. 🙂

    • 6rabbits August 3, 2016 / 5:37 pm

      There are more veggies that I boycott than eat! I’m incapable of being a vegetarian.

  7. Brouhaha August 3, 2016 / 1:04 pm


  8. Phred's Mom August 3, 2016 / 1:16 pm

    This is your best yet, Mike. You even made MyMike laugh, no mean feat these days.

  9. Murray C. August 3, 2016 / 1:29 pm

    This is reminiscent of people who would come on the Johnny Carson Show with potatoes that looked like people or rocks in the shape of various foods. I love nature!

    • Gigi the cat lady August 3, 2016 / 2:26 pm

      I do remember this particular time because the poor lady was so shocked and it made me laugh so hard!

      • Murray C. August 3, 2016 / 4:15 pm

        And her name is Myrtle – of course it is. Innocent times.

      • 6rabbits August 3, 2016 / 5:30 pm

        I miss Johnny Carson. 💔

  10. sugitomo August 3, 2016 / 7:25 pm

    Kind of like carrot papoose.

  11. TrixAndSam August 3, 2016 / 9:30 pm

    “But Mah, I’m destined for Broadway!! I just auditioned for an upcoming show, The Tap Root Kid!”

  12. Kar August 3, 2016 / 11:30 pm

    Was this sponsored by the new Seth Rogan movie, Sausage Party?

  13. Annimator August 4, 2016 / 12:29 am

    My screen shows an ad for Brilliant Earth diamonds (because of the carats, I guess).

  14. Clairdelune August 4, 2016 / 4:48 am

    Now I know why I don’t like baby carrots!! Love full-grown ones, however, thanks to you, Mike, now am going to feel weird crunching down on one. 🙁

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