Hello! I’m a Beer!

“Yes, that’s right, I’m a beer. I’m a, er, pilsner stout ale! Yeah, one of those fancy beers that taste funny. So you probably don’t want to drink me, and you should just leave me here in the refrigerator across from the leftover tuna casserole, which I wasn’t eating at all because I’m a beer and beers don’t like tuna casserole.”

(keep still… stay in character… think carbonated thoughts.)

Via Imgur.

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31 thoughts on “Hello! I’m a Beer!

  1. allein ๐Ÿพ May 18, 2017 / 3:26 pm

    I don’t normally like beer, but I will try this one.

    • ^oo^ May 18, 2017 / 10:37 pm

      I’ll take a six-pack.

      • allein ๐Ÿพ May 18, 2017 / 11:02 pm

        I’ll take a whole case!

  2. Murray C May 18, 2017 / 3:27 pm

    Definitely a beer that will leave you with a fuzzy tongue the day after.

  3. Smartypants May 18, 2017 / 3:29 pm

    Aren’t you a little young to be a beer? I bet you’re a Junior Juice ๐Ÿ˜€

    • allein ๐Ÿพ May 18, 2017 / 3:30 pm

      Maybe he’s a Zima (college-freshman flashback).

      • Smartypants May 18, 2017 / 6:15 pm

        Oh, goodness – and Seagram’s wine coolers? (Bruce Willis – with hair! – was the pitchman). And Bartles & Jaymes.

        • allein ๐Ÿพ May 18, 2017 / 7:42 pm

          OMG

          • Murray C May 18, 2017 / 9:18 pm

            Oh, Gack (hairball sort of sound)

        • Dana May 18, 2017 / 10:33 pm

          Wine coolers!! Geez I feel old. ๐Ÿ™„

  4. Starfish May 18, 2017 / 3:41 pm

    Kittenness Stout: The flavorful beer with a nice fuzzy head.

  5. Gigi the cat lady May 18, 2017 / 3:53 pm

    I think you’ll get a fuzzy tongue and a scratchy throat if you try to drink this beer.

  6. Mal May 18, 2017 / 3:54 pm

    One of those small-batch microbrews.

    • Amyliz May 18, 2017 / 5:48 pm

      Ha, I was just about to make a small cat/microbrewery comment! You know what they say about great minds! ;D

    • Smartypants May 18, 2017 / 6:17 pm

      …and they sell them in containers called ‘growlers’ – perhaps this is a mini growler?

      • allein ๐Ÿพ May 18, 2017 / 7:43 pm

        I think he’d be a hisser.

  7. allein ๐Ÿพ May 18, 2017 / 4:01 pm

    This reminds me of the time Stripes tried to be a pint of ice cream. (Luckily for him he made enough noise to be rescued before he got too cold.)

  8. Faye May 18, 2017 / 4:11 pm

    I had a cat named Butch who walked into a small floor freezer just as I swung the door closed and turned to walk a way.

    Some subliminal part of my brain stopped me and showed me sequential images of open freezer door then big orange cat. Processing a bit slowly resulted in two thoughts: 1. Did I just see that? 2. If I did see that it’s very wrong! I opened the door. There was Butch just sitting as if he was anywhere normal. He’d been in there maybe a minute. If I had run out of the house he would have froze. ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿˆโ›„๏ธ

  9. Brouhaha May 18, 2017 / 4:15 pm

    My cat is always inserting herself in the fridge and freezer. She makes refilling the ice trays a challenge.

    She likes to be in the cabinets and the microwave as well. *eyeroll*

  10. birdlady26 May 18, 2017 / 4:21 pm

    Ooohhh! A new type of beer. It’s a kit-ale.

  11. Duckie ๐Ÿฅ May 18, 2017 / 5:11 pm

    The expression on kitty’s face makes me wonder if it’s just the tuna casserole he’s been sampling. There is definitely the beginning of cross-eyed happies going on there.
    ๐Ÿ˜ป๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿˆ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿท๐Ÿบ๐Ÿป๐Ÿธ๐Ÿน๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ

  12. Muppet2171 May 18, 2017 / 6:25 pm

    If he were an orange cat, would that make him a ginger-ale?

    • Duckie ๐Ÿฅ May 18, 2017 / 6:51 pm

      Muppet2171, when we all finish groaning and clutching our hair in agony, someone will get back to you.

      • Muppet2171 May 18, 2017 / 7:44 pm

        Sorry…couldn’t resist. ๐Ÿ˜

        • allein ๐Ÿพ May 18, 2017 / 7:46 pm

          I, for one, am applauding.

          Kitty would like to propose a toast.

          • Faye May 18, 2017 / 8:12 pm

            Of course!

          • Starfish May 18, 2017 / 10:35 pm

            Raising a glass to some top-shelf punnery!

    • Murray C May 18, 2017 / 9:14 pm

      Bada-BING!

  13. Wuyizidi May 18, 2017 / 7:51 pm

    A tabby porter?

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