40 thoughts on “That’s A-door-able

  1. Laura May 30, 2017 / 2:35 pm

    I knew a cat many years ago who I personally witnessed open a round doorknob. Multiple times. These horizontal handles are much, much easier for cats to open, spurning silly things like cat doors. And one particular Burmese python I can think of.

    • allein 🐾 May 30, 2017 / 2:53 pm

      When I still lived with my parents I was getting ready for work one morning and I heard Strips trying to open my door (it has a horizontal handle). Then I turned on my hair dryer and was facing away from the door while I dried my hair. When I turned it off and looked up, Stars was sitting in the middle of the room looking like she wasn’t quite sure how she got there, and Stripes was sniffing around under my night stand.

      They never did it again. I think they just wanted to show me that they could.

      • julie May 30, 2017 / 3:04 pm

        “just wanted to show me that they could”!!! LOL!!!

        • allein 🐾 May 30, 2017 / 3:58 pm

          This was when he was still small enough to have to jump for it (not exactly a kitten, but not fully grown yet). I think Stars must have helped push. He can reach the knob now but as far as I know he doesn’t do it. If I shut the door when I babysit I’ll sometimes hear him trying but he never seems to manage it.

  2. Faye May 30, 2017 / 2:37 pm

    They only tolerate us for the Tuna. It’s a scam.

    • allein 🐾 May 30, 2017 / 2:50 pm

      Are they the ones who keep calling my cell phone from random unknown numbers and not leaving messages?

      • Smartypants May 30, 2017 / 5:53 pm

        If only it were cats…I keep getting some chick who says I’ve stayed at their resort and they’d like me to visit again…?

        • allein 🐾 May 30, 2017 / 6:38 pm

          I frequently get informed that I may be eligible for student loan forgiveness. My student loans were paid off over 13 years ago.

          I’m also apparently looking for a house in Atlanta. Not sure if that’s spam or just a realtor with a wrong number.

          • Smartypants May 30, 2017 / 7:36 pm

            Yes, apparently I’m a homeowner too – I keep getting offers for aluminum siding.

            Good job on the student loans – congrats!

            • allein 🐾 May 30, 2017 / 8:05 pm

              I’m a homeowner but I only own the inside.

              I had help on the loans. My parents gave us earmarked Christmas gifts three years in a row (one year it was to put towards a car). Plus college was cheaper 20 years ago. My total loan amount was around the average of my four years’ tuition… and less than a third of the current tuition for one year (not including room and board). If I were going to college now…I would not be going there!

              And to think I was afraid my dad would say it was too expensive back then!

              • Smartypants May 31, 2017 / 7:15 am

                I didn’t go to college right out of high school, but then at about age 40 I quit my job and did a year of college just for my own enjoyment. Constitutional Law, Anatomy & Physiology and ‘Math Modules’ (math for non-math people).

                It was our local Community College so it was super affordable, and I still find myself using the stuff I learned today.

          • Kar June 1, 2017 / 10:29 am

            Or how about the “Do you want to improve your credit rating?” calls. I’ve got a 830, leave me alone!

            Oh, and apparently I need a pool and a hot tub to install on my condo balcony.

            • allein 🐾 June 1, 2017 / 10:51 am

              832, I believe, according to my last Discover bill. Yeah, I think I’m good.

              I keep getting texts apparently addressing me as Cristino Rentos. Often includes a url, which I’ve tried googling (not actually going to the site) but can’t tell what it’s supposed to be from the search results. I have no intention of actually opening the page. Sometimes it includes a street address…for what purpose I have no clue. A couple times it seemed to be offering Cristino a job or verifying when he can start. I’m afraid if I respond it’ll just trigger more spam, so I just delete them.

              A couple months ago I got a couple texts and a voicemail from someone who seemed to have the wrong number, but it also sounded like possibly spam; after googling and finding the person’s Linked In with the company she claimed listed as current employer, I responded and said as much. She apologized and I didn’t hear from her again. A few days later I got a similar text from someone else at the company, so I told him the same thing and said please stop texting me. He said that was the number they had in their file and I responded that I had already informed his colleague that it was wrong. He seemed annoyed with me. Oh, well.

              • Kar June 1, 2017 / 2:44 pm

                Had something similar happen and had to threaten calling the police for repeated phone harassment before reaching a manager.

                Apparently people with the same last name will use you and your address when they apply for work or to hide whatever. then when they skip town with a box of stolen pens/whatever, the company has YOUR address, name and phone number on file.

  3. HaHa May 30, 2017 / 2:39 pm

    The grunt of disillusionment at the end is the epitome of describing cats fulfillment of any human desires that go beyond fluffy adoration.

  4. Murray C. May 30, 2017 / 2:42 pm

    The very least the cat could’ve done was close the door behind it!

    • julie May 30, 2017 / 3:05 pm

      Closing the door behind him/her would violate the Cat Code of Conduct.

      • tara May 30, 2017 / 3:47 pm

        Please, oh please, elaborate on the Cat Code of Conduct! 🙂 haha!

        • Amyliz May 30, 2017 / 6:35 pm

          Yes, I would love it if we started a cat code of conduct! It could include: Only lay on freshly-washed laundry, never on a dirty load! 😀

          • Smartypants May 30, 2017 / 7:41 pm

            “To show your human you love them, only bring them the freshest prey – they’ll be speechless with gratitude!”

            • Amyliz May 30, 2017 / 7:53 pm

              My cats are indoor cats, but yes, my childhood cat would bring dead baby bunnies to the door and I would get upset and call him “Bunny breath” and refuse to pet him for awhile. He was actually a great cat; as a kid, I just didn’t understand that he was a predator by nature!

              • Faye May 30, 2017 / 8:19 pm

                We used to get twitching moles.

                Cat Code: appear out of nowhere to sit/stand on the desk/counter/table/dresser in the exact spot your human has work to do at the exact moment they turn around to do it.

            • Kar June 1, 2017 / 4:39 pm

              And if you must bring a fresh, headless offering, do this on a Sunday morning to coincide with their weekly pilgrimage to a house of worship.

              The poured blood and entrails (on the white carpet) will signify that this sacrifice is one offered by the entire household.

          • AB May 30, 2017 / 9:04 pm

            Always lay on garments that contrast with your fur for maximum shed impact.

            When vomiting, choose the swath of carpet (NEVER tile or hardwood!) with the greatest amount of human foot traffic. Bonus points if humans usually walk that patch of carpet in bare feet/socks.

        • Duckie 🐥 May 30, 2017 / 8:38 pm

          Barf only where your hoomin will walk at night in bare feet.

        • HaHa May 30, 2017 / 9:33 pm

          “You may adore me. See my belly? It is fluffy and inviting. You may pet it until I am finished with the pettings. Then, without warning, I am finished with the petting, and will grab and bite your hand while bunny kicking your arm to shreds.”

        • Julie May 30, 2017 / 9:45 pm

          I’ve never owned a cat, but I had one as a roommate for 2 years when I lived in NYC. Based on this roomie experience I would add to the Cat Code of Conduct:

          Always drink water from a human glass. Knock it over when you are no longer thirsty.

          Only steal the most expensive jewelry in the home. Take only one earring, never the set. Hide your stash under the heaviest piece of furniture in the home.

          When slipping out of the apartment, time it appropriately so that the doorman will call up to the apartment at 6:30am after a night of heavy drinking and demand that someone who is hungover “get the cat out of elevator AGAIN”

  5. julie May 30, 2017 / 2:59 pm


  6. Gigi the cat lady May 30, 2017 / 3:13 pm

    “Cat door? We don’t need no stinking cat door!”

  7. Starfish May 30, 2017 / 3:34 pm

    “Silly human. ANY door is a cat door!”

  8. Smartypants May 30, 2017 / 5:31 pm

    Poor human – I hope he kept the shipping box!

    • Starfish May 30, 2017 / 7:31 pm

      Knowing cats, that box has probably already been claimed.

  9. allein 🐾 May 30, 2017 / 9:09 pm

    By the way, I just thought you’d all like to know:

    I am wearing hedgehog socks.

    • Duckie 🐥 May 30, 2017 / 9:57 pm

      High pitched squealing that sets off car alarms and causes local dogs to howl.
      Allein, I am a sucker for hedgies!

      • allein 🐾 May 30, 2017 / 10:29 pm

        This is not my foot.

        (Yes, I googled the socks I am currently wearing and found a picture of someone else wearing them. You can truly find anything on the internet.)

        • Duckie 🐥 May 30, 2017 / 11:36 pm

          Should we ever meet, I will acquire these socks somehow.

          And why don’t government offices ever offer loan forgiveness for credit cards? Or mortgages? Or credit lines?

          • allein 🐾 May 30, 2017 / 11:38 pm

            I got them at Target, but it was probably a couple years ago. They have lots of cute ankle socks.

        • Blue Footed Booby May 31, 2017 / 7:13 am

          Y’know, these would go with the gray suit I wear to job interviews.

          • Smartypants May 31, 2017 / 7:19 am

            That would be an awesome addition – like a secret handshake. “Hedgie socks? You’re hired!”

  10. michael May 31, 2017 / 9:14 am

    “You want me to go through the door? Sure. Anything to please you.”

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