What Is Thy Bidding, Masters?

“I have done as you commanded, exalted ones. I have loosened the tops of the salt and pepper dispensers used by the Unholy Human, and concealed the keys it requires to operate its vehicle. Tomorrow, its omelet shall be rendered inedible, and you will delight in its lamentations as it fruitlessly searches room to room. How else may I be of service to thee, O Pillow Gods?”

(Can’t sleep, pillows will eat me. Can’t sleep, pillows will eat me.)

Much praise for sender-inner Sharon H. (via Reddit)

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10 thoughts on “What Is Thy Bidding, Masters?

  1. Clairdelune June 23, 2017 / 12:12 pm

    I don’t think I could sleep peacefully being stared at by those huge cat faces… kitty is probably scared, thinks he’s going to be attacked by giant enemies. 😧 😧 😧

  2. ^oo^ June 23, 2017 / 12:29 pm

    Poor sad omelet. For what is it searching?

  3. Kar June 23, 2017 / 12:33 pm

    It’s the feline reboot of Zardoz I think.

  4. Gigi the cat lady June 23, 2017 / 2:14 pm

    What does an omelette lamentations sound like?

    • Duckie 🐥 June 23, 2017 / 4:43 pm


    • fkaWaldenPond June 24, 2017 / 12:54 am

      ‘Beaten eggs!? I hardly knew her!’ or ‘For crepes sakes!’ or ‘cheeseis crepes– I never get the fruit.” oh wait– ‘ya, ya you spill me and it’s all from the frying pan into the fire!’

  5. allein 🐾 June 23, 2017 / 4:30 pm

    I would not want to wake up to those.

    • Duckie 🐥 June 23, 2017 / 4:50 pm

      To what, the pillows, or the omelette lamentations?

      • allein 🐾 June 23, 2017 / 5:05 pm

        Um, both.

  6. ^oo^ June 24, 2017 / 2:33 am


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