The Adventures of Jack & Jill, ep. 19: A Bright-Eyed Ambush-y Tale

The twin turboprop smoldered in its freshly-dug crater. By some miracle, Jill and I had been thrown clear of the wreckage with only a few bruises to show for it. We were on foot now, but it didn’t matter. Before us stood the entrance to Castle Bratwurst, headquarters of the entire F.L.O.O.F organization. Somewhere within its twisted dungeons, we’d find our pail of water.

“I have been expecting you,” said an unseen voice as the heavy doors slammed shut behind us. I recognized the thick Bavarian accent at once; so Dr. Von Schlapp was the mastermind all along. “I believe you have been searching for this,” he cackled, “but I’m afraid you are too late. It seems Kevin has grown fond of it.”

Guarding our pail was a fierce, hideous creature whose dead, disapproving eyes watched our every move and whose razor-sharp fangs flashed with every leering lick of its lips. “Stand back, Jill!” I commanded, “and hand me your makeup kit with its powder-puff applicator. I’ve got an idea so crazy, it just — might — work!

That rabbit’s got a vicious streak a mile wide! It’s a killer!

I can’t watch, Sharon H.!

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19 thoughts on “The Adventures of Jack & Jill, ep. 19: A Bright-Eyed Ambush-y Tale

  1. Murray C. December 17, 2017 / 10:17 am

    My heavens, that little boy is in anguish – I wonder what could be provoking such a reaction? “Hideous creature” my Aunt Petunia’s wooden leg.

    • Emsthemonster December 17, 2017 / 11:31 am

      The parents must have just watched Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail in front of the kids. This is where we all learnt that bunnies may be dangerous!

  2. Ricky's Mom December 17, 2017 / 10:53 am

    It’s not uncommon for children, especially small ones, to be afraid of live animals; unlike toys, they’re unpredictable. This is pretty much why some animals are afraid of small children, too!

    It’s also possible that what looks like anguish is actually caused by the thwarted desire to play with the bunny.

    I don’t know if this is really cute, other than the bunny, but it is rather funny in a snarky sort of way. And the text is fabulous.

    • allein ? December 17, 2017 / 12:22 pm

      Upset children aren’t cute (well, they are cute, just not the upset), but bunneh certainly is!

      I definitely didn’t expect Jack and Jill to be actual hoomins! ๐Ÿ˜›

  3. Gigi the cat lady December 17, 2017 / 11:02 am

    To me it looks more like the boy frustrated at being held back by his sister and is trying to get away from her and get at the bunny. She on the other hand looks perfectly calm but interested, I’m imagining that it’s a new pet that parents are introducing to the kids and told them not to touch it yet.

  4. Luv Bunny December 17, 2017 / 11:10 am

    Donโ€™t know the story behind the scared boy and the cautious sister (look at her epression) but some adult needs to help gently introduce them to this bunneh. Otherwise, quite a different version of the Jack and Jill story I read. Leave it to Mike, to keep the suspense up as I read through his tale and was surprised by the quiet bunneh sitting there.

  5. Hilda December 17, 2017 / 11:50 am

    Kevin!

  6. debg December 17, 2017 / 1:10 pm

    I’m laughing so hard, I can barely breathe. Yes, I’m a mean person to laugh at those poor little kids, but Mike’s setup was brilliant. And because it was longer, I could thoroughly take it in before seeing the picture.

    While I’m the new owner of the Fiona book (thanks to my bio-dad), I’m getting snarly over stupid computer problems. Thanks for the laughs, Mike.

  7. AB December 17, 2017 / 7:54 pm

    The little boy isn’t scared of the bunneh… He’s scared of some horrible monstrosity in the bucket, and bunneh is trying to protect him. We all know buckets are portals to the netherworld– hence the phrase “beyond the pail”.

    • allein ? December 17, 2017 / 8:16 pm

      It all makes sense now.

    • Duckie ? December 17, 2017 / 10:00 pm

      Well done!

    • Murray C December 18, 2017 / 12:56 am

      Excellent!

    • Faye December 18, 2017 / 6:17 am

      My morning laugh went to this comment.

  8. Faye December 18, 2017 / 6:20 am

    Obviously little boy is crying because his previously white bunny has embraced The Dark Side. Darth Bunder. May the Floof be with him yet again.

    • allein ? December 18, 2017 / 6:56 am

      • Murray C December 18, 2017 / 2:27 pm

        Allein does it again!!!

  9. Doug December 18, 2017 / 7:32 am

    When I see that photo, one movie line comes to mind …

    …And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, “O LORD, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy.” And the LORD did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu… [At this point, the friar is urged by Brother Maynard to “skip a bit, brother”]… And the LORD spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”

    RUN AWAY !!!

    • Murray C December 18, 2017 / 2:27 pm

      I love that scene!

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