Riddle Me This

You approach a house. The gate is guarded by two beasts who will only let you enter if you solve their riddle. The first beast says “One of us tells naught but truth / The other naught but lies…” to which the second beast adds “Got any sausages?”

“Dammit, Kevin! You’re supposed to finish the poem!” says the first beast. “But I’m really hungry,” says Kevin. “Look, we are not having this conversation again! You have one line —  one stupid line — and all you can think about is lunch! You are not going to screw this up for me like the Sphinx gig, you hear me?”

The first beast lets out an exasperated sigh and says “Look, there’s a 7-Eleven on the corner, just go get him some links or something and you’re in. Don’t tell anyone.”

And a can of tuna, while you’re at it. What the hell.

I was never good at these puzzles anyway, Sharon H.

You already voted!

43 thoughts on “Riddle Me This

  1. allein ? January 8, 2018 / 9:43 am

  2. Kar January 8, 2018 / 9:45 am

    Not exactly the Scylla and Charybdis.

    I’m guessing a lot of people get through these gates.

  3. Ricky's Mom January 8, 2018 / 9:53 am

    This is sheer perfection.

  4. Gigi The cat lady January 8, 2018 / 10:19 am

    You remind me of the babe.
    What babe?
    The babe with the power.
    What power?
    Power of voodoo.
    Who do?
    You do.

  5. debg January 8, 2018 / 10:34 am

    Thanks for the morning giggle, Mike and commenters! Off to the vet soon.

    • Ricky's Mom January 8, 2018 / 10:51 am

      Holding a good thought for you, DebG.

    • Gigi The cat lady January 8, 2018 / 10:57 am

      Fingers crossed everything turns out for the better. ??

    • dubravkamcvmd January 8, 2018 / 11:24 am

      I really hope you have a good surprise. If not, having done this myself a number of times, you will know it’s the right thing and there will be some peace in that.

      • debg January 8, 2018 / 11:52 am

        She’s got a huge abscess. They’re going to drain all the pus (ick) and get her started on antibiotics. Poor baby–now I wish I’d gone in on Saturday after all. We did get in some quality cuddling last night, at least.

        • allein ? January 8, 2018 / 11:54 am

          Poor baby…glad it’s something treatable!

        • AJ January 8, 2018 / 12:21 pm

          Yeah – glad it’s treatable! Hugs to you and kittie.

        • dubravkamcvmd January 8, 2018 / 12:37 pm

          I’m so glad it’s treatable!

        • Catwhisperer January 8, 2018 / 12:52 pm

          Happy to hear it, Deb. I just read the weekend thread this morning, so I was waiting for an update. Glad it’s good news!

        • Gigi The cat lady January 8, 2018 / 1:04 pm

          So glad it’s not worse!!

        • Ricky's Mom January 8, 2018 / 1:52 pm

          So glad it’s treatable!

        • fkaWaldenPond January 8, 2018 / 1:55 pm

          Ouch and yuck but good!

        • Brouhaha January 8, 2018 / 3:06 pm

          So glad it’s treatable! Poor kitty.

        • Faye January 8, 2018 / 3:13 pm

          Yucky but fixable is fantastic.

        • Laura January 8, 2018 / 5:28 pm

          Aw, poor baby! I’m so glad it’s something treatable, though. And don’t beat yourself up for not taking her in Saturday; I would have done the exact same thing in your shoes!

    • Murray C January 8, 2018 / 1:04 pm

      Oh, dear, I’m hoping good things!

  6. nano's_mom January 8, 2018 / 10:53 am

    This, these stories, are what really sets Cutetropolis apart from any other website. Thank you. I needed a good laugh today!

    • Murray C January 8, 2018 / 1:05 pm

      That’s our Mike! Why is the word “sausages” so funny. My husband used to have two nicknames for me – “Piglet” and “My Little Sausage” and I reminded him that perhaps that wasn’t such a good combo of endearments.

  7. AJ January 8, 2018 / 12:27 pm

    Too funny! Love the looks on their faces – cat is like NOOOOOO! Really Kevin??? and dog is like but I wanted sausages and I’m gonna get sausages.

  8. Murray C January 8, 2018 / 1:07 pm

    Mike, the editing function seems to be missing! And all of a sudden the posts have begun to come in in 20 point type! Argh!

    Oops, there it is! how confusing. (the type is still huge, however)

    • allein ? January 8, 2018 / 1:11 pm

      I don’t see huge type…

    • Not That Mike The Other Mike January 8, 2018 / 1:14 pm

      Murray, you may be experiencing a one-time glitch. Try closing your browser and then visiting the site again.

      • Murray C January 8, 2018 / 4:22 pm

        Will do. And, Smartypants – is there an actual “Refresh” button? Would it be called something different on a MAC?

        • Smartypants January 9, 2018 / 7:58 am

          Hi Murray, sorry for the slow reply – yes, I’m on a Mac desktop – at the right end of the address bar, there’s an icon that looks like a curlicue (spiral) and when I put my cursor over it, it says ‘reload the current page’.

          If I hit that and wait a few seconds, my page usually goes back to normal.

          • Murray C January 9, 2018 / 11:35 am

            I have looked high and low for something that looks like a spiral but cannot find it. Not sure what the “address bar” is but nothing on the whole screen resembles a spiral. I closed down my computer overnight and when I came back the type was still large – no other site is the same. It’s not terrible, mind, it’s just kinda weird. I thank you for responding, slow or otherwise!?

            • allein ? January 9, 2018 / 11:47 am

              Reload button probably looks something like this:

              • Murray C January 9, 2018 / 11:57 am

                Yes, Allein, I think that’s big enough for me to see – without my glasses at 20 paces!? You are too funny. I wouldn’t have called that a spiral – I guess that was my problem.

                Didn’t change anything. Oh. well, enough about this, let’s get on with more CUTE!

                • allein ? January 9, 2018 / 12:05 pm

                  Haha, I didn’t realize it would be that big.

    • Smartypants January 8, 2018 / 2:46 pm

      That happens to me sometimes – I haven’t figured out a cause. Giant type and no Edit function, then it reverts to normal after a few seconds. Try hitting Refresh?

  9. ffleur2 January 8, 2018 / 1:39 pm

    I want a dog and name it Kevin. And I want to marry Mike and hear stories like this everyday.

    • debg January 8, 2018 / 4:45 pm

      re: marrying Mike

      Get in line. I asked him first (I think).

      • Ricky's Mom January 8, 2018 / 5:19 pm

        Some of us asked back at the Old Ranch.

        • Murray C January 8, 2018 / 5:32 pm

          On the next calendar photo of Mike I want to see his face covered in lipstick prints.

          • Duckie ? January 8, 2018 / 11:26 pm

            Or paw prints.
            Nose marks?

    • Laura January 8, 2018 / 5:30 pm

      I’d name a dog Kevin except I already have a nephew on both sides of the family named Kevin, and I’m afraid there would be too many Kevins to keep straight between the human and canine varieties!

      • Duckie ? January 8, 2018 / 11:27 pm

        Name the dog “Sausage”. Guaranteed, he will ALWAYS pay attention when you call his name.

      • Smartypants January 9, 2018 / 8:01 am

        “Not That Kevin the Other Kevin”

  10. misspiggy January 8, 2018 / 5:03 pm

    You’ve excelled yourself with this one, Mike. Superb.

Comments are closed.