Builds Cute Bodies Twelve Ways!

Having gained super powers by accidentally eating a radiation-enriched dog biscuit, Melvin vowed to fight evil under the name of “Zarklon, the Wonder Dog.” Unfortunately, his initial choice of costume failed to instill a sense of awe and dread among the criminal underworld to the degree he had hoped.

“You GUY-yyys! Stop laughing!”

Thanks to super-submitterator Sharon H. (via Reddit.)

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21 thoughts on “Builds Cute Bodies Twelve Ways!

  1. allein ? January 24, 2018 / 9:43 am

    The twist-tie around the tail…

    If you cover the head and tail, it really does look like a loaf of bread…

  2. dubravkamcvmd January 24, 2018 / 10:15 am

    Awe successfully instilled, but joy rather than dread

    • Wuyizidi January 24, 2018 / 3:10 pm

      Indeed, these days everyone knows there’s nothing more dangerous than refined carbohydrates.

  3. Blue Footed Booby January 24, 2018 / 10:37 am

    I’m imagining the crinkling sound he must make when he walks.

    • Murray C January 24, 2018 / 1:12 pm

      ?

  4. CAZ January 24, 2018 / 11:11 am

    I’m sure like many doggies his real power is loafing around…..

  5. Duckie ? January 24, 2018 / 11:31 am

    Is he pure-bread?

    • Murray C January 24, 2018 / 1:12 pm

      Anyway you slice it. Upper crust to boot.

  6. Laura January 24, 2018 / 11:45 am

    Doggie costumes can be so creative and hilarious!

    Speaking of which, Melody managed to shed her Cone of Shame and chew open part of the incision the vet had put in after removing the drain from her behind, and the vet put a bandage on it with some special medication that we’re not allowed to put on her ourselves because apparently it’s a carcinogen (!! one hopes not to canines!!), but the bandage WILL NOT stay on because of the way her thighs are SO much bigger than her lower legs, and the way her body flexes when she moves.

    We finally got a pair of very small pants, cut off the legs, cut a hole for her tail and her “business,” and then because it wouldn’t pull up QUITE far enough, tied the waistband of the pants to her collar with a stretchy piece of gauze so she can still move. The vet told us she’d probably need a bandage on it for at least a month (!!), and we should get some “dog pants,” but unfortunately, the ONLY ones I could find that would work are those stupid Shed Defenders, the doggie onesies to prevent shedding. So I’ve paid WAY too much to order one, and am really hoping it arrives ASAP.

    In the meantime, she’s back at the vet to let THEM try to fasten a bandage on more securely; the last one had fallen down her leg by the time she and Daddy made it to the car! It has been unbelievably frustrating. The ONLY good thing is that she stands still while we mess with different methods to fasten the bandage on; but she’s not pleased with the Cone, and so we’re hoping we can keep that on her, too. Her neck is fatter than her head, which doesn’t help!

    Anyway, I’m sure you can sense our frustration. She doesn’t feel bad, but with an open wound right on to her business end, it’s incredibly awkward. Wish us luck! I’ll try to get and submit a photo of her in the stupid doggie onesie; she ought to look totally ridiculous, needless to say!

    • Blue Footed Booby January 24, 2018 / 12:05 pm

      What a pain. I look forward to the photo but that sounds like an unpleasant situation all around.

      • Laura January 24, 2018 / 12:28 pm

        It’s just frustrating. She’s very good about standing still, but she’s not anxious to go out of her way to help us, so as soon as we get the Cone fastened back around her neck, she finds a new way to shed it. She’s quite the escape artist from that thing! Greyhounds are wonderful dogs, but their body shape can make you crazy at times like this, it’s so different from most dogs. It actually reminds me more of a cheetah than a dog!

        • Amy January 24, 2018 / 12:43 pm

          Would one of those inflatable cones (they look more like those airplane neck pillows) work better, or does her neck:head ratio still come into play? Poor pup!

          • Laura January 24, 2018 / 1:01 pm

            The head:neck ratio is definitely one of the problems. Fortunately, if we get the stupid doggie onesie and put a sturdy enough bandage in place on her bottom, we MAY be able to dispense with the Cone of Shame. That’s what their website advertises, anyway. I wanted to get a black one so it would be less conspicuous, but no such luck — the *only* color they have in her size, alas, is light blue. So I guess we’ll need to figure out what to add to it come Halloween to have a sky-blue greyhound costume! 😀

            • Gigi The cat lady January 24, 2018 / 1:41 pm

              I think I speak for everybody when I say : We want photos of Melodie in her pale blue onesie!!

              • Dubravkamcvmd January 24, 2018 / 2:12 pm

                Hear hear!

              • Deb January 24, 2018 / 2:43 pm

                Yes. Yes you do.

                I vote for a sky with clouds costume.

                • Faye January 24, 2018 / 7:39 pm

                  Fluffy white clouds.

    • Faye January 24, 2018 / 7:43 pm

      What about a doggie diaper. You can take it off when she goes to do her business.

      Poor mom and dad.

      • Laura January 24, 2018 / 7:55 pm

        The wound isn’t in the right location, unfortunately; a diaper wouldn’t work. Or, trust me, we would have tried it! We should have the onesie in a couple of days; the vet managed to put on the bandage today well enough that it’s still on her several hours after she got home, which is amazing when yesterday it didn’t even last until they got out to the car! I cannot wait to see how ridiculous she looks in her onesie, either, never fear! They did get in the black today, though, so we *might* get one; the person I emailed with wasn’t sure. And I agree about the fluffy white clouds! Some nice fiberfill fastened on, and she’ll look so funny she’ll have the whole city ROFLing!

  7. AB January 24, 2018 / 7:38 pm

    As a kid, my dad read a magazine or newspaper article about hybrid wolves to me. I mentally spelled it “high bread” wolves and drew the conclusion that if your dog is part wolf, he eats a lot of bread for some reason. So, this little guy must be part wolf!

  8. Faye January 24, 2018 / 7:41 pm

    For some reason I am craving a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

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