A Hippo-sized Crush

March 9, 2018March 10, 2018Not That Mike The Other Mike

Will a Texas hippo send Fiona’s heart a-Twitter?

Since practically the entire world has fallen in love with Fiona, it was inevitable that she would get a love letter. And that, appropriately, it would come from another hippo, named Timothy at the San Antonio Zoo.

Dear Fiona,

My name is Timothy. I have seen you on the internet at the @CincinnatiZoo & you are the most beautiful hippo I have ever seen! Perhaps we can meet someday and be boyfriend and girlfriend? I am single and available. #HippoSwipeRight #TeamFiona

Sincerely,
Timothy pic.twitter.com/jaUoNZdbFg

— San Antonio Zoological Society 🦍 (@SanAntonioZoo) March 8, 2018

Fiona herself declined to answer, but did release a statement through her publicists at the Cincinnati Zoo, noting any mate for Fiona “would have to be ok w/taking a back seat,” which is totally not a euphemism. We hope.

Fiona thinks you’re cute too, but it’s what’s on the inside that counts! Your DNA will decide if you’re the one for our little diva. Any potential mate would have to be ok w/ taking a back seat. Are you ok w/paparazzi? Most importantly, are you willing to relocate to Cincinnati? https://t.co/7XFCiYnyz7

— Cincinnati Zoo (@CincinnatiZoo) March 9, 2018

But a lady of Fiona’s young age isn’t ready for boys, anyway. She’s much too happy just gossiping with her gal pals.

Fiona loves her fans. #TeamFiona pic.twitter.com/RyWl4zWcTs

— Cincinnati Zoo (@CincinnatiZoo) March 9, 2018

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allein ? March 9, 2018 / 2:52 pm

Okay, that is freakin’ adorable. But, yeah, Fiona is definitely too young to date.
- Not That Mike The Other Mike March 9, 2018 / 3:20 pm
  
  So is Timothy. He’s still in zoo school!
  - allein ? March 9, 2018 / 3:22 pm
    
    Maybe they can have a play date, then.
debg March 9, 2018 / 3:06 pm

I am so in love with these hippos and their clever, loving keepers. I may have to squee for the rest of the day!
Gigi The cat lady March 9, 2018 / 3:31 pm

Hippo Tinder?
- Emsthemonster March 9, 2018 / 5:02 pm
  
  Oh this might explain why I can see more and more huge smartphones!
  - Gigi The cat lady March 9, 2018 / 8:15 pm
    
    ??
Catwhisperer March 9, 2018 / 4:40 pm

It looks like he’s kissing the glass. So cute!
But I AM wondering what they meant by taking a back seat…
- Luv Bunny March 9, 2018 / 5:47 pm
  
  I take it to mean, Fiona, would be the “star/celebrity” and he would be her significant other. Could he handle not getting all of the attention and having their pictures taken a lot.
  - Not That Mike The Other Mike March 9, 2018 / 6:39 pm
    
    It’s kind of like the plot of “A Star Is Born” but with hippos.
    - fkaWaldenPond March 9, 2018 / 6:48 pm
      
      😀 !
    - Gigi The cat lady March 9, 2018 / 8:18 pm
      
      I would rather watch Fiona and Timothy in the remake they are doing than Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper.
      - Ricky's Mom March 10, 2018 / 5:36 am
        
        Good grief, so would I!
Kar March 9, 2018 / 8:03 pm

All i ask is that we skip the Bachelorette – Hippo style
Smartypants March 9, 2018 / 10:55 pm

He looks like a nice boy. And he has good manners. We’ll see!