Folks, if you’re looking for an exciting new career, consider training for work in the professional backflipping industry! Experienced backflippers can earn up to $5 per flip, with no upper limit on earning potential! Backflippers go to exciting places, meet interesting people, and get lots of exercise! And the best part is, it’s completely automation-proof. Unlike manufacturing, retail, trucking, and many other professions, there is absolutely no chance that backflippers will never be replaced by robo–OH FOR PETE’S SAKE AT LEAST LET ME FINISH THE PITCH!
No, you can’t have your tuition deposit back, Alice Shortcake.