There is a simple truth that every cat owner believes:

cat steals ham
Yum, food! My favorite! (Imgur)

That cats, while cuddly and cute, are dirty rotten thieves.

cat rifles through purse
loose change… lint-covered mint… where ARE those car keys?

Every time you look, they’re in the refrigerator,

cat in refrigerator
You’re out of, um… space. (Imgur)

They’ll steal the fish right off the hook and then say “see ya later!”

cat reaches for fish
No touchy the fishie!

They’ll happily steal your cookies, they devour them and grow fatter

Your offering has pleased the Porch Demons. (Imgur)

But if they can’t get cookies, then they’ll steal the cookie batter

cat sticks hand in mixing bowl
Um, hello, ma’am, I’m from Mixmaster customer service, and… (Imgur)

We’re trying to nab the perps with all the tools that we can muster,

cat steals pen
… when they’re not stealing them. (Imgur)

But we can’t dust for pawprints, ’cause the kitties stole our duster.

cat steals duster
Took ’em a while, though. (Imgur)
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13 thoughts on “Kleptomanicats

  1. Ricky's Mom April 14, 2018 / 11:30 am

    Bravo, NTMTOM! Bravissimo!

  2. birdlady26 April 14, 2018 / 12:44 pm

    We don’t need no stinkin’ duster!

    • 6rabbits April 14, 2018 / 12:55 pm

      That was the silliest part!๐Ÿ˜

      • allein ๐Ÿพ April 14, 2018 / 2:44 pm

        Reminds me of the doggie with the big stick trying to get across the bridge.

        • Smartypants April 15, 2018 / 1:21 pm

          I love thisโ€ฆso smart! You can practically see the little wheels turning as he figures it out.

          • Blue Footed Booby April 16, 2018 / 11:16 am

            I’ve seen a video with a different dog where zillions of complicated equations fly by over his head before he figures it out.

  3. Flowerfanatic April 14, 2018 / 1:32 pm

    Guess I’m lucky my Persians never figured out how to do ANY of those antics!! Even the shorthaired kitties I’ve had over the years didn’t learn how to be kleptokitties. Our household never had to suspect (if something was missing) that one of the cats did it. Guess we led a boring life!! Or we just happened to have very boring kitties!! Nothing ever found in weird places that a human hadn’t put there. Yes, I’m admitting to finding things in strange places put there BY a human!!

    • allein ๐Ÿพ April 14, 2018 / 2:48 pm

      Ours don’t really do those things, either. Stripes did get into the freezer once when he was little. Luckily I heard him thumping around in there and let him out. (He’s too big now to get shut in there, unless it was relatively empty, which it never is.) The one thing he likes to steal are hair elastics, so I have to be careful not to leave mine out on the night stand when I stay at my parents’ or it will not be there in the morning.

  4. Patty April 14, 2018 / 1:45 pm

    My cats are yarn thieves. They can get the lids off the storage containers, and I find yarn strung from one end of the house to the other. I was crocheting a throw rug for my granddaughter, and Seth’s Cat attempted to steal the ball of yarn I was using, and was surprised when she couldn’t get very far with it. This is one of the kittens my grandson fell in love with, and I told him I’d keep her until he graduates high school and gets his own place (next month). There are already 2 cats at their house, cranky old ones who probably would not appreciate a juvenile cat in the household. He was supposed to name her, but has not done it yet, so it looks like her name will be Seth’s Cat.

  5. dubravkamcvmd April 14, 2018 / 2:15 pm

    The expression on the face of the Mixmaster customer service representative is hilarious.

    • Smartypants April 14, 2018 / 6:00 pm

      Yes – “maybe if I just keep talkingโ€ฆ!” ๐Ÿ˜€

  6. allein ๐Ÿพ April 14, 2018 / 2:51 pm

    Oh, I almost forgot; message from my mom the other day:

    “We had to take Stripes to the vet today. He had an infection in his mouth/teeth. He got an antibiotic shot and we have to take him back Tuesday morning so they can sedate him and check out what is really going on.”


  7. Gigi The cat lady April 14, 2018 / 3:57 pm

    My cat Mia cannot resist stealing packets of Kleenex tissue out of my purse.

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