“Look, stop whining. The whole time we were roommates, I kept telling you: Show up to class. Take the speech course. Learn to walk upright. But no, all you wanted to do was party, roam the neighborhood, mark up the place. Four years of that, and where’d it get you? Still on four legs, on the wrong end of the leash, and as fate would have it, with me as your boss. So suck it up and keep walking, I’ve got a conference call at noon.”
Do you long to regain your youthful hair color without all the hazardous chemicals and dyes? Then come visit Mr. Rudolpho’s Hairy Aerie, where our all-bird staff removes the grey the all-natural way! Just ask our satisfied customer, Mrs. Lucretia Plaffwaffle of Toxic Mills, NJ, who came to see us last week. Only 72 hours and 492 exhausted finches, titmice and sparrows later, Mrs. Plaffwaffle’s remaining nine hairs are a lustrous brunette!
In the world of espionage and international blackmail, two things are true: 1. Megalomaniacal supervillians love their cats; and 2. Megalomaniacal supervillians always get caught. In situations like these you, the cat, are generally on your own, and must find some way to return to lawful society without being recognized. To be prepared for this eventuality, maintain an emergency kit containing food rations, cash, and some form of disguise, such as the mask modeled here by “Mr. Wrinklebottom.”
Via Imgur. (I can’t find a credible back story for this picture, so I can only assume that the cat was shaved for a medical procedure and its face was spared.)