A Twisted Tale

Loisย turnedย to see the two hoodlums slowly closing in. She was trapped in a blind alley, and as usual her cowardly dog Roland was nowhere to be found.ย “Just give us the purse, lady,” sneered the tough. “We ain’t gonna hurt y-EEAARGH!” He clutched his head and fell to the pavementย and in an instant his partner was down as well. A small object clattered to the ground at her feet: a solid titanium pretzel.

“Keep it, I’ve got plenty,” said a voice from above. Lois looked up to see a shadowy figure on the fire escape. His billowing cape obscured his body, and his face was hidden behind a pretzel-shaped mask. “Those two evildoers won’t a-salt you now,” he chuckled, and with a whirl of his cape he was gone.

Ever since that fateful night, Lois was obsessed with pretzels. She drew them constantly, hoping that some clue to his identity might emerge. However, she would eat pretzels only one night a year — the anniversary of her mysterious rescue. “Want a pretzel, you big coward?” she said as she offered one to her dog Roland, but then she froze. So that’s where he went. All this time. Night after night. Right under her nose. She finally knew the secret of — The Pretzel Avenger.

“Hope you’re not… BENT out of shape, a-heh…”

Via Twitter.

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32 thoughts on “A Twisted Tale

  1. Gigi the cat lady February 28, 2017 / 9:02 am

    LOL! Thanks for the laugh I needed that, even if it hurt my throat.

    Also, I want thank all the peeps for the hugs and good thoughts sent our way. My husband is out of the hospital the stone having passed, unfortunately or maybe fortunately while doing all the tests they found a small tumour on his kidney, he is seeing the specialist tomorrow, please keep those goods thoughts coming!

    • Ricky's Mom February 28, 2017 / 9:27 am

      Oh, golly, sending many more good wishes. Hang in there!

    • debg February 28, 2017 / 9:56 am

      Gigi, thanks for the update. Hope you’re feeling better and we’re all sending healing energy for you and hubby.

    • Luv Bunny February 28, 2017 / 10:35 am

      Sending more good healing wishes for both you and your husband, Gigi the cat lady. If you keep reading NTMTOM tales, it may take longer for your throat to heal, due to spontaneous laughter.

    • Murray C. February 28, 2017 / 10:38 am

      GiGi, Not sure how I missed that bit of news but I’m glad he’s doing better and I guess the one thing led to finding the other sooner rather than later! Best wishes to you and your husband and may all turn out well for you.

      And as far as the story of the Pretzel Avenger – ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผ(WHAT THE…. no PRETZEL EMOJI???)

      • allein ๐Ÿพ February 28, 2017 / 10:44 am

        Pretzel is a candidate for inclusion in Unicode 10.0 scheduled for release in 2017 and was added to draft Emoji 5.0 in 2017. ๐Ÿฅจ

        2017 shall henceforth be known as the Year of the Pretzel!

    • Julie February 28, 2017 / 11:40 am

      Gigi – sending you positive thoughts!

    • Catwhisperer February 28, 2017 / 12:53 pm

      You can add my good thoughts to your growing supply!

  2. allein ๐Ÿพ February 28, 2017 / 9:12 am

    He can rescue me any time.

    Keeping my fingers crossed for good news, Gigi!

  3. tara February 28, 2017 / 9:16 am

    Gigi – sending good thoughts! I hope it is nothing serious.

    This reminds me of a crafty project I did in elementary school when ET was all the rage. We glued a pretzel to a ribbon, and put googlie eyes into the top two loops. Instant ET bookmark.

    ET came back?


  4. DC Cindy February 28, 2017 / 9:22 am

    Mike, Please tell me that you are donating your brain to science.

    • Ricky's Mom February 28, 2017 / 9:25 am

      But not any time soon!

      • allein ๐Ÿพ February 28, 2017 / 9:49 am

        Even better. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Ricky's Mom February 28, 2017 / 10:22 am

        I just guffawed. Not something I ordinarily do alone in a quiet house. Well played, sir.

        • Murray C. February 28, 2017 / 10:39 am

          Right there with you.

  5. Brouhaha February 28, 2017 / 9:33 am


    Gigi – I hope everything turns out ok!

  6. debg February 28, 2017 / 9:58 am

    I’ve been binge-watching superhero TV lately, so this post had me ROFLMAOing. NTMTOM, you totally nailed it.

  7. Duckie ๐Ÿฅ February 28, 2017 / 11:18 am

    I shall consider this story as my best birthday present. Thank you, Mike!

    • allein ๐Ÿพ February 28, 2017 / 11:58 am

    • Murray C. February 28, 2017 / 2:27 pm

      Happy Birthday, Duckie!๐ŸŽ‚๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿง๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’(the cherries are for good luck, like hitting the jackpot?)

    • Debg February 28, 2017 / 8:42 pm

      Happy day, Duckie!

    • fkaWaldenPond February 28, 2017 / 8:53 pm

      Heya Duckie, Happy Birthday! It is my brother’s and an old school friend’s birthday as well, so plenty good people were born this day!

    • Emsthemonster March 1, 2017 / 7:09 am

      Happy Birthday, Duckie ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Faye February 28, 2017 / 11:20 am

    Ditto Epic!

    GiGi: very good outcomes on kidney tumors. Usually very self contained. Let us know what the Docs say. Hugs to you and hubby.

  9. Julie February 28, 2017 / 11:42 am

    Pretty sure my dogs rescue my sanity everyday ๐Ÿ˜Š

  10. Patty February 28, 2017 / 12:21 pm

    Sometimes fate works in mysterious ways, GiGi. Kidney stone leads to early discovery of a tumor. My father had kidney cancer when I was a child, back in the early 70s. He died last year, not from cancer, at the age of 82.
    I loved this story, Mike, I love the scroll down needed to get to the picture.

    • Julie February 28, 2017 / 4:59 pm

      Yes, no one scrolls down better than Mike!!

  11. Flowerfanatic February 28, 2017 / 5:03 pm

    It’s not unusual to find something not giving any signs it’s there and showing up unannounced when something ‘minor’ (not that a kidney stone is minor by any means) shows up. Hopefully the tumor can be taken care of before anything more serious happens there. Hubby had surgery several years ago to remove a stone that refused to pass from the kidney thru the ureter and into the bladder for easier removal. I’m a nurse so I’m a bit familiar with what happens when one refuses to budge. 2 kidneys, 2 ureters that go into 1 bladder.

    Since my name IS Lois, I kind of liked the story behind this picture. Thanks Mike for making my day!! Plus I LOVE puggies!!

  12. Blue Footed Booby March 1, 2017 / 8:17 am

    The Pretzel Avenger sounds like the perfect sidekick for Lobster Johnson.

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