Bathe Me Not, I Beg of Thee

If there is any shred of mercy in your soul, do not immerse my body into the cold, antiseptic water with its stinging chemicals and perfume of lies. For while my odor may indeed be foul, it is the scent of victory, the scars of battle in which virtue and character are forged. And as bad as my wounds may seem, that skunk got it even worse.

He won’t try to stink up THIS house again! (Imgur)
You already voted!

7 thoughts on “Bathe Me Not, I Beg of Thee

  1. allein ? December 10, 2018 / 11:09 am

    Matching nose and toebeans. Boop!

  2. N. Fritz December 10, 2018 / 11:43 am

    I was totally expecting a Brer Rabbit “Don’t throw me in the briar patch” denouement.

  3. JenDeyan December 10, 2018 / 3:10 pm

    I have never had the misfortune of smelling skunk and I hope to go the rest of my life avoiding that misfortune. So sorry kitten.

    Though art tainted and bathe thy must! To spare thy family such odor most foul.

    But after the bath, there shall be much joyous cuddling to be had.

    • allein ? December 10, 2018 / 3:20 pm

      A couple years ago I was cat-sitting for my parents and Stripes escaped outside a little before midnight (I was not happy). I went out to look for him and saw something crossing the street a couple houses down. At first I thought it was him but then I realized it was a skunk. That’s when I noticed the smell (it was also drizzly and foggy so it hung in the air even more). I was so afraid he’d get himself sprayed. I told him if he did he’d spend the next few days in the garage until my parents got home. Eventually I caught him skulking along the flower bed in front of the house next door and coaxed him inside. He was damp from the drizzle and smelled vaguely of skunk until he dried. He was a lucky cat that night.

    • Laura December 10, 2018 / 3:35 pm

      You’re very fortunate, Jendeyan. The fragrance of skunk is not only overwhelming and truly awful, but it is very, VERY hard to remove from skin or fur. I know people have tried bathing themselves (or their animals) in tomato juice, among other things; at least that was the remedy my grandfather used when he was 9 years old and fell from his horse atop a skunk. It was apparently pretty memorable! 😀

  4. Debg December 10, 2018 / 3:15 pm

    I wuv his sleepy eyes.

  5. Ricky's Mom December 10, 2018 / 5:21 pm

    Talk to the paw!

Comments are closed.