I Know Why the Caged Cat Screams

Ronald had always been calm and level-headed in the manner of most cats. Mornings were spent quietly grooming his tail; afternoons contentedly sleeping in a sunbeam. He was a sensible cat, not given to sudden outbursts — until one day.

It began innocently enough. His human had dropped a piece of toast on the floor. Normally, Ronald would saunter over casually to see if it was to his liking, but this time he noticed it was scorched on one side. “How’d it get burned?” he demanded to know. “How’d it get burned? How’d it get burned, howditgetburned?!

He gasped. Had he said that? One minute he was his normal, sensible self, and the next he was — overacting. He dropped the toast and backed away, straight into the cactus his owner grew by the cabinet. “I’m a prickly pear!” he cackled uncontrollably. Where did that come from, he thought. Am I losing my mind?

Ronald raced down the hallway, raving like a madman: “I’m a vampire! I’m a vampire!” Was that it? Had he been possessed by some demonic force that was driving him insane? Ronald stopped in his human’s bedroom. For a moment, all was still, everything was where it should be. But there was something new. On the bed. A strange pillow his human had bought in a second-hand shop just days before.

Then it became clear. The face on the pillow was unmistakable, its piercing gaze full of madness inescapable. Ronald had fallen under its curse, and as long as that pillow was in the house, he would never be sane again.


Via Imgur.

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21 thoughts on “I Know Why the Caged Cat Screams

  1. allein March 10, 2016 / 10:54 am

    Oh. My. God. I am in tears.

    Kitty looks perplexed.

  2. Maya March 10, 2016 / 11:27 am

    Ronald is nothing short of a “National Treasure!”

  3. Kay Fabe March 10, 2016 / 11:27 am

    The “how’d it get burned?!” line made me snort my delicious morning beverage.

    “So, what’s in that pillow, a shawrk?”

  4. Inge van Bruggen March 10, 2016 / 11:56 am

    He should know about his humins strange preference for strange heads in the bedroom….

  5. Flowerfanatic March 10, 2016 / 12:19 pm

    Whatever is going on, he’s still a very pretty Exotic Shorthair kitty!! He’ll eventually get used to seeing the new face and accept it. To him he probably thinks, “Well, where did this NEW human come from??” Like most other new things, he’ll get bored with it and ignore it in typical cat fashion.

  6. Amy March 10, 2016 / 12:52 pm

    I was so not expecting Nic Cage! Bwahahahahahaha!

  7. Gigi_the cat lady March 10, 2016 / 1:24 pm

    My favorite Nicolas Cage line :

    “Put… the bunny… back… in the box” from the movie Con Air

  8. Mariana Paes March 10, 2016 / 1:41 pm

    who can sleep with that pillow in the house, let alone in the bedroom??

    hilarious post, as always!!

  9. Starfish March 10, 2016 / 1:47 pm

    As always, the long scroll down to the final pic was worth every second.

    Hang in there, Ronald. Nic Cage is strong, but you can resist him if you have the will.

  10. EAG46 March 10, 2016 / 2:46 pm

    No wonder Ronald went mad. Why would his human HAVE that pillow in the house? Poor kitty.

  11. Michelle P March 10, 2016 / 2:46 pm

    LOL! I read the whole thing before I scrolled down. I was *NOT* expecting Nick Cage!!1! Priceless.

  12. hilz March 10, 2016 / 2:55 pm

    Oh man I sure hope you shared this with George 2-leg’s Instagram! I know they were hoping someone could caption that picture, and I can’t imagine there ever being a better one!

  13. Julie March 10, 2016 / 4:05 pm

    There is so much to love about this post, but I think I most especially love that it appears to be Nicholas Cage wearing a Napoleon outfit on the pillow.

  14. Faye March 10, 2016 / 4:51 pm

    Kitty is puzzled. Me too. That must be Nic’s house. Who else would buy that? Not a Nic fan.

  15. Clairdelune March 10, 2016 / 5:06 pm

    I actually LIKE Nic Cage, but I could not ever sleep with THAT staring at me!!! Poor kitty, he’s probably wondering who is that interloper who refuses to scritch his chin.

  16. Kar March 10, 2016 / 6:03 pm

    Wow, and I thought that I was traumatized after Ghost Rider.

  17. amyliz March 10, 2016 / 8:05 pm

    Everything about this post is so wonderfully weird!

    • Kar March 10, 2016 / 9:13 pm

      Especially the title. The after-snerkle takes a few seconds to tickle.

      • allein March 10, 2016 / 9:51 pm


      • Faye March 10, 2016 / 10:41 pm

        I just got it.

  18. fkaWaldenPond March 10, 2016 / 10:35 pm

    Just as she is doing…

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