Hippos are surprisingly fast on land, but even more so in the water, where gravity isn’t an issue and their strong legs propel them like torpedoes. To show us how, here’s Fiona, zooming across her tank at the Cincinnati Zoo. Fire Fiona one!
In today’s overstimulated society, we are overwhelmed by distractions: Smartphone apps. Flashy advertising. Uninvited jugglers. How can one learn to focus again? At the Cutetropolis Institute, you can learn the Cognitive Ability Lengthening Method (CALM), in which students are conditioned to tune out stimuli such as ringing phones, flashing lights, and uninvited jugglers. Upon completion of the course, students can withstand any distraction, such as this successful graduate:
That must be a really good book, Elizabeth G.
Great, now I need to find the “off” switch. Of course, the larger challenge will be catching him long enough to push it.
Zoom-mitted by Carol B. (PS: Thanks again to A. H. for hitting the tip jar!)