Death by the Ton

Through the brackish emerald waters of the Weeki Wachee River, the hungry alligator glides unseen. Molded by eons of evolution into an invisible assassin, only her eyes peer through the carpet of algae on the river surface, giving little notice of her approach. Soon those eyes locate their prey: a succulent young fawn, oblivious to danger as it drinks near the water’s edge. Wasting no time, the cold-blooded predator swims silently toward the innocent creature, and with one violent lunge, her powerful jaws drag the clearly inferior beast to an agonizing death with thrashing and screaming and lots of blood and body parts flying everywhere! Ha-HAAA! CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP! Take THAT!!!

You really need to stop doing this, dear. (Twitter)

Hey, it’s Fiona and Bibi, via Jezebel

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23 thoughts on “Death by the Ton

  1. Dubravkamcvmd June 18, 2018 / 9:35 am

    Bibi’s resigned expression is hilarious.

  2. allein ? June 18, 2018 / 9:46 am

    Remember the video of Fiona sticking her tiny head in her dad’s mouth?

    This is, um, well, not quite the same…

  3. 6rabbits June 18, 2018 / 9:48 am

    ?????????? on the story, Mike!?

  4. N. Fritz June 18, 2018 / 10:00 am

    Epic scrolldown, NTMTOM!!

  5. Ricky's Mom June 18, 2018 / 10:06 am

    Brilliant scrolldown and totally adorable picture! Yay!

    This reminds me a bit of Snoopy as the fierce vulture.

    There’s also a wonderful song from You’re A Good Man Charlie Brown that applies. I’ll see if I can find a postable version.

    • allein ? June 18, 2018 / 10:15 am

      ??? I always feel like somebody’s watching me… ???

    • Murray C. June 18, 2018 / 11:19 am

      LOVE Snoopy as a vulture.

  6. Ricky's Mom June 18, 2018 / 10:15 am

    Here it is, with Bill Hinnant as Snoopy, from the original production (which I saw and loved). Stick with it, if you don’t know it, and you’ll see why I thought of it.

    • allein ? June 18, 2018 / 10:25 am

      😀

      • Murray C. June 18, 2018 / 11:24 am

        I love the line “Sturdy roof under my head”. Hee, hee.

  7. Faye June 18, 2018 / 10:44 am

    Oh the horrors! Oh the cuteness!

    Great story and scroll down Mike. ?

  8. Gigi the cat lady June 18, 2018 / 11:07 am

    This is the exactly what they mean by bitting more than you can chew.

    • Murray C. June 18, 2018 / 11:24 am

      Bingo!

  9. Andrew June 18, 2018 / 11:29 am

    <3<3<3 soft chomp
    XD

    • Ricky's Mom June 18, 2018 / 3:53 pm

      Kronsche on mommy’s nose!

  10. Kar June 18, 2018 / 1:06 pm

    Think i’ve actually been to that river in Florida. Guess what? they sell crappy tourist stuff.

    Coudn’t imagine what Mike was going to show us with that description. Was half expecting a duckling aiming for and missing a waterbug!

    What a patient mommy.

    Reminds me of Calvin whenever he’d be daydreaming in class, unaware of that the 9-eyed monster from Planet Xycron was his teacher about to lay the smack down.

  11. debg June 18, 2018 / 9:18 pm

    I was just thinking about Fiona this morning, as I carefully washed *around* my Team Fiona temporary tattoo! She’s still adorable.

  12. Smartypants June 18, 2018 / 11:46 pm

    This is the sequel to Dr. Seuss’s ‘Hop on Pop’ – it’s ‘Nom on Mom’!

    • allein ? June 18, 2018 / 11:49 pm

      WINNER!

    • Catwhisperer June 19, 2018 / 9:42 am

      New tag?

      • Duckie ? June 19, 2018 / 9:23 pm

        Yes!

  13. Doug June 19, 2018 / 9:57 am

    Side eye look = “Why do I put up with this?” .. “Oh ya .. I remember .. all the internet fame!”

Comments are closed.