You know what I’d appreciate? Somebody to come along and trim these bangs.
It’s Cow Appreciation Day!
31 thoughts on “It’s Cow Appreciation Day!”
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You know what I’d appreciate? Somebody to come along and trim these bangs.
Comments are closed.
Dress up like a cow ‘today’ and get free chicken at that one Chicken place.
As one news story states .. “The price of free (chicken) today is your Dignity”
” Moo .,.,. Are you Happy Now? “
I appreciate you, cow. And your hair looks so very soft.
Peeps, I normally don’t do this, but I’m having a rather bad day. If you could post some funny stories, I’d really appreciate the laugh.
Aw, sorry to hear that Duckie! Do you know PG Wodehouse? Have you seen Jeeves and Wooster? Here’s a link to the first episode: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y-Wlaw78JN4 it always makes me laugh! Also, if you are willing to download it, Wodehouse’s story “Goodbye to all Cats” is absolutely hilarious! http://digbytriston.blogspot.com/2016/02/goodbye-to-all-cats-pdf-online.html
Hi Duckie! Here goes a story.
My Mother’s parents, my maternal grand parents, owned a deli/restaurant in downtown Stamford, Connecticut. My grandparents both worked there. My grandma did all the cooking and my grandpa worked the front counter. My mother and her older brother lived with them over the deli.
One day, probably in the early 1920s, the Circus came to town. My mother and her brother ran into the store begging for money to go to the Circus. My grandparents didn’t have the money. The kids started to make a fuss.
My grandpa called into the kitchen for my grandma to hurry out and get them out of the front of the store. She came out wearing her kitchen clothes. Big bib apron, shirt sleeves rolled up and in those days a big long skirt over a petty coat and pantaloons.
“What are you two fussing about?”, she asked.
“WE WANT TO GO TO THE CIRCUS!!”, they yelled, demanding money.
“You want a Circus?”, my grandma asked. She was busy, hot, and annoyed. “A Circus?!”
And with that she lifted her skirts exposing her pantaloons to the customers and my mother and uncle and said, “Well here’s a Circus! I’ll give you a Circus!” And she danced and flung her skirts around. Then they both got smacked and sent upstairs.
No one ever forgot my grandma’s Circus Dance. If any kid got cranky one of the adults would ask, “Do you want a Circus? ‘Cause I’ll give you a Circus and you won’t like it!” And we would all crack up laughing.
True story! This happened 30 years ago when I went on a summer academic program to Greece. Although I was engaged to be married at the end of that summer, there was one participant who kept flirting with me. After six weeks of this, I finally said (totally joking) “fine. If you can produce blueberry PopTarts here in Athens, I’ll go to bed with you.”
I will never forget the look on his face. His eyes grew wide and he beckoned me to follow him to his room. He pulled down his suitcase from the top shelf of his closet, unzipped it and threw back the cover to reveal… A box of blueberry ToastEms.
I knew I was in trouble. But I also can think on my feet. I looked him straight in the eye and said, “I specified blueberry PopTarts. You are obviously trying to woo me with an inferior brand!” And I turned on my heel, walked back to my room (and locked the door!)
Thank you, N. Fritz and Faye. Two laughs and a chuckle so far. Definitely helping.
Ok, here goes mine. My grandparents used to manage a hotel in Digby Nova Scotia during the 1930’s and somehow, at least the story goes, a parrot was left behind by a sea captain and had some interesting volcabulary. One day, Grandmother invited the very proper vicar to tea. He sees the parrot and does the usual “Polly want a cracker?” routine. Well, said parrot turned around and told the vicar to go to hell. This parrot also liked to sing “I’m forever blowing bubbles”.
If that doesn’t get a chuckle, then maybe the antics of my first cat would. I think I’ve mentioned Harley on here before. He was the kitty that crawled up the through the wall mail slot and then got stuck with only his head outside, meowing. Thankfully, he managed to back himself out. Or the time, he crawled up the window screen and was hanging there like Garfield between the glass and the screen.
Feel better Duckie.
AJ the image of a parrot telling a vicar where to go had me snerk ice tea out my nose. Thank you for the visual.
I’m glad I could make you laugh. That story has been making our family chuckle for a good 50 years.
Here are two stories I submitted to Not Always Right, Duckie and DebG.
I hope they help!
https://notalwaysright.com/the-political-system-is-a-blonde-joke/37705/
https://notalwaysright.com/toiling-in-the-toilet/37102/
OK, you got me to guffaw! Thanks so much.
I have a new website to view! Thank you.
Okay. This just arrived in my email and utterly destroyed my bad day.
http://www.shopsevenoaks.com/blog/events/american-crown-circus/
You can imagine the picture that came to mind. Thank you to everyone who told stories. I will see you all at the circus, especially you, Faye. Please feel free to keep the stories coming. I’m sure I’m not the only one needing a laugh.
Oh oh, Duckie. If you want a Circus I’d better find some pantaloons otherwise not as funny! ?
There were 7 of us kids. Dad was overseas, and Mom was basically a single mother. She took us all to the store, and a man walked by. Upon seeing all of us he said to Mom: “Are these all yours, or is this a picnic?” She replied, “They are all mine, and it definitely ain’t a picnic”
Reminds me of a slightly ruder story. Man who was a greeter at Walmart was quitting and this was his last day, so he didn’t have much to lose. He saw a woman come in who was yelling at and smacking her kids and being a really terrible mother. He put on his biggest smile and said, “Hello, madam, and what lovely children. Are they twins?” She said, “Of course they aren’t twins, you %$^&#. One’s six and one’s three. Are you %#&$^$ blind?” “No, madam, I’m not. I just couldn’t believe that anyone had sex with you twice.”
Cute “hairy coo”, by the way.
Roflol.
Wonderful thread! All the stories have made me laugh. Warning: my contribution is a bit rated R, but it made my co-worker snort noodles out of her nose. So I’m goin’ for it…
A favorite co-worker is from North Dakota (we’re in Philadelphia) with the “oh yah, you betcha!” accent and all. As we all know – it’s been kinda sweltering everywhere. Today at lunch she says: Oh man, I’m sweatin’ like a nun in dildo shop.
Love and good thoughts to you Duckie! I love reading your comments and posts here!
<3 <3 <3
PS: i really hope I haven’t offended anyone! 🙂
A former boyfriend of mine used to say he was sweating like a bastard at a family reunion! Always made me laugh and still does, actually! 😀
Those are marvelous! It’s kind of hard to say ‘dildo’ with a straight face in any context…it’s just one of those words.
Heya Duckie, I hope you are having a better day today– I saw this last night and had a chuckle but didn’t post– here it is now:
https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-tuesday-edition-1.4740605/ontario-woman-accidentally-steals-car-for-2-weeks-mistaking-it-for-a-rental-1.4740610
Poor sweetie! I finally got my long-overdue haircut yesterday, so I understand the bangs problem.
Duckie, I’ll try to think of something for you. Having a not-great week myself and appreciate the laughs too.
Nobody’s gonna comment on the bit of grass on her nose?
It snot grass.
Bet it’snot!
My (somewhat stuffy) dad would say “I thought my nose was bleeding, but it snot…”
Ha!
Here’s another.
So my dad was very meticulous about his grooming. Cutting finger nails, toenails, trimming his eyebrows.
One day he asks me if I could look at his big toe. Something is wrong with it… I always thought he had nice feet. What could be wrong? So I say sure expecting a little hang nail or something.
Off comes the sock. Foot goes up on edge of couch. I lean over and what do I see? A raging case of fungus under his nail. Deep, and yellow.
I scream. I had no idea that people even got that. He screams because I screamed. I yell what did you show it to me for! Go to the doctor!
Later after the doctor he apologized. I say laughing don’t ever show me your toes again. For ever after, unexpectedly, if we were somewhere very quiet or in a serious boring event he’d lean over and ask me… Can you look at my toe? And we would dissolve into giggles that no one else could figure out.
One last story.
My mother had a serious car accident when I was in the fourth grade. She was in the hospital for three months. (Came home fine.) being an only child it was just me and my dad. In the first few weeks we were on our own with neighbor ladies bringing food. Eventually he hired a nanny.
But before the nanny he comes to me and says that there is something in the refrigerator and he doesn’t know what it is. I follow him into the kitchen… I look. On a shelf on the door is a glass bottle with a stopper. Inside is some liquid. A layer of yellow, a layer of light purple and a layer of bumpy green… it looks horrible. I have no idea what it is. We jiggle it. Viscous. Is it spoiled what ever it is. Creepy.
So not wanting to touch it he calls up Mrs. Karp from up the street. He tells her there is something spoiled in the refrigerator and he and I have no idea what it is.
Mrs. Karp arrives out of breath, yanks open the door to the refrigerator expecting god knows what… Nothing. She looks all around. Nothing. We point to the hideous bottle of in our minds contamination…
Home made Italian salad dressing that had separated. Olive oil, wine vinegar, herbs.
My mother had always shaken it vigorously before bringing it to the table.
Who knew!
People, your wonderful stories have definitely brightened my evening! Thank you!
What Deb said.
Thank you all for the much needed laughs. They truly have helped improve my mood today.