Ever since I became a professional video gamer, life has been nothing but sweet. Get up when I want to, turn on the streaming camera, and just play all day while the money rolls in. I rule all the top games: League of Losers, Strike Farce, Bang-Bang Shooty-Shoot, wasting noobs right and left. And the best part is right after a kill, I chat out: “Dood, yoo just got pwned BY A DOG!”
I’m pretty sure I’ve told this story before, but I used to live with a cat that would sit on your lap while you were at the computer. If you stopped petting for too long, he’d whap the space bar. In the game I was playing at the time (Dark Souls) this made your character jump backward, frequently to his doom. Eventually, any time I wanted to game I’d pick him up and stick him to a roommate like a baby possum.
I thought on the internet nobody knew you were a dog. You’re not supposed to tell them!
Hey dude! Aren’t you supposed to be babysitting? (Look behind the back of the desk, down on the floor)
He looks like he is trying to make sense of the terms and conditions.