Arr, matey, hoist up a chair and I’ll tell ye a tale of the most fearsome pirate ever to plunder the seven seas. None dared cross swords with him thanks to the adorable wee beasties who gathered about his chest like a furry shield, what give to him the infamous name: Catbeard.

That’s a next-level catbeard, Sharon H. (Update: Check out Catbeard the Pirate webcomic!)