Today I received an email that was intended for someone else with a name similar to mine. So I replied politely and explained the situation.
…but we can’t just leave it at that, now can we? Hit it, maestro!
No, I can’t pick out a Jesus for the Saturn
That’s something that I’m not prepared to do
For your Beemer I’ve got Buddha or if you want I coulda
Pair your Chevy with that crazy cat Cthulhu
Got an Allah for your Altima, I bought him up in Baltim’a
For your Humvee, Hermes, Hephaestus, or Zeus
For an Opel I’ve got Odin; that’s the very car he rode in
But no Big J for Saturn, there’s no use!
Etcetera, etcetera… I may add to this if I can think of any more verses.
NTMTOM, the maestro is YOU!!! It could only be you.
Standing ovation!
Well, if you weren’t going to burn with the rest of us before you surely will now!
I’m an atheist but if there is going to be a NTMTOM religion I would join.
I’m in too.
All rightie, then! If L. Ron Hubbard can do it, then so can I!
Tough Mod Lounge down there. But worth it for eternal NTMTOMisms.
Dad sure sends ‘special’ emails, doesn’t he?
The lack of a subject line is always a warning.
Lack of subject line = do not open. 🙂
You must have some top of the line antivirus software!
Great writing as always!
Ah, yes, you do indeed have a certain gift for daffy rhymes. Bravo.
I’ve an Apollo for your Volvo.
Yes, I’ve checked, he won’t object.
There’s a Hades for your Hyundai,
But he might just give you heck.
For your Chevy I’ve got Chronos,
To help get you there on time.
And Charon for your Scion
And for your van, there’s Pan. (Good rhyme.)
WHA-HOOOOOOOO! 😀 😀 😀
My heartiest applause!
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Chronos! God, I’m always late. ?
*golf clap*
So, NTMTOM, were YOU the one who penned the classic “Plastic Jesus”?
And yes, it is lovely to know I will have such wonderful company whilst roasting in the Underworld. A former neighbor of mine was wont to tell me that’s where I was going.
http://www.rccramer.com/fun/jesusdance/lyrics.html
Mr. NTMTOM, you have risen to new heights. I hold you in the highest regard and offer up a hearty round of applause. If there was a Walk of Fame, you’ve just cemented yourself there!
An Odin for your Volkswagen
A Baron Samedi for your Mini
So’s to disappoint you gently
I’ve got Balder for your Bentley
Huitzilopochtli for your Honda if you like
But I can’t pick out a Jesus for the Saturn
And I recommend you think about a bike.
So not disappointed.
How about a Satan for the Saturn, just for the alliteration? No? Well, ok, then I got nothin’.
Why not Saturn for the Saturn? He was a god too, after all.
And, of course, a Mercury for your Mercury.
I got a Kali in my Kia.
She protects me through the day.
I show her proper homage
So I shall not lose my way.
Kia Kali. Ooo Kia Kali kalayyyyyyy!
Kia Kali kalayyyyyy!
“Watch me, Jesus, left turn!!!” George Carlin, I think,
Oh, there’s a Dracula in my Acura,
He’s all about Fang Shui!
Now I banter with a vampire,
All the live long day.
If you do buy a car named Christine,
Careful what’s in that that machine.
An Archfiend’s inside,
So your soul you should hide.
Or you will soon become his fave cuisine.
We all have hidden talents. I am always so impressed by you guys.
Just need to say…
That. Is. Sooo. Perfect.
Hey, you started it…
Was I the only one who thought NOMTOM was supposed to pick out a Jesus for the (now downgraded) planet? Must read more carefully!
I too thought that the planet Saturn was in need of divine intervention, but it was Pluto that got downgraded.
Yeah, they really shouldn’t have demoted the god of the Underworld. Nasty things could happen in retaliation.
I think we already covered this topic recently.
ROFLOL. Both of you just cracked me up. Saturn/Pluto what goes around comes around.
Saturn/Pluto together that’s tough stuff! Empowered one minute, depressed the next.
Wow. You’re right. Yikes.
Saturn/Pluto, it’s a vicious cycle, Faye.
Baron Samedi’s ready Mon-through-Sunday
Maman-Brigitte stands out from the mob
So Voo-dou like them riding in your Hyundai?
Or is that just enough to make you Saab?
Omgosh you’re good!
Thanks! NTMTOM’s very inspirational.
I thought so when she used the word “eftsoons” but my admiration increases! ? I feel I’m in the company of giants, judging from all the offerings herein.
If you want a car for Loki
Avoid the Yugo, it’s real pokey
Seth will twist into a pretzel
The jerk who gives him an Edsel
Moloch, well, he’s such a bummer
He really deserves a Hummer
You rhymed pretzel and Edsel.
Be still, my heart. ?
I know I’m late to the party, but this post and all the comments get A SEAL OF APPROVAL!
I have to say, the old ranch was lovely, but this… this place is on fire and swingin’!
Given the content of this thread, “fire” seems particularly appropriate.
Hera’s in a Beemer
Poor Vulcan just a Ford
Satan’s in a Bentley
Befitting The Dark Lord
Whenever there’s a question
Who has the nicest car
Always bet on Lucifer
‘Cause he’s the Morning Star
Dang that’s good!
I would love to see the face of the gentleman who sent you that email if he saw what iconoclastic hell he unwittingly unleashed.
I can’t believe I missed this post in February!!! I must have been knee-deep in work as often is the case of late.
I’M DOFFING MY HAT TO ALL AND SUNDRY. A gathering of geniuses indeed, under the inspired aegis of NTMTOM.
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