“I love seeing all you sheep! I get the best sheep at my rallies, they’re yuuge! The rallies, I mean, not the sheep. Well, the sheep too, but it’s OK because you’re all gonna get fleeced, and then you’re gonna feel great. So much lighter. You’re gonna get bored from all the fleecing, that’s how much I’m gonna fleece you. Now let’s all chant the call-and-response loyalty oath.”
Submitterated by loyal campaign worker Thérèse B.