Attention cats: Ever wondered how you’d look as a lion? As a pit bull? An ostrich? Or even as a human? Then come visit the Species Reassignment Center, the tri-county area’s leading provider of species conversions. Whether it swims in the ocean or flies in the air, we can turn you into the beast you were meant to be. Not sure? Step into our patented Select-a-Body visualization system for a no-obligation sneak peek.
Time once again for The Mupoot Show, starring Flossy Boar, Miss Grizzly, the Finnish Bartender, those lovable curmudgeons Chambers and Astoria, with musical guest Dr. Toenails and the Hydraulic Pandemonium. And here’s your host, Kermit the Dog!
The newspaper headlines on my desk squawked in panic: “KFC Hit By Chicken Shortage!” “Stores Shuttered as Birds Fly Coop!” Was this mysterious disappearance a simple cluck-up — or did some dirty bird commit fowl play? I knew there was only one greasy gumshoe with the giblets to get to the bottom of this capon caper, and that was me.
Tune in for more of “Detective Maru” via John B. and Andrew Y.