What Did You Just Call Me?

Let’s get something straight, human. I’m a cat, not a kitten. I’m not your “gubboi,” I’m not your “puddin’ pie,” and I’m definitely not your “fluffy wuffy poofy woofy widdle cuddle pants,” and if I ever hear those phrases cross your lips you’ll be my “scratchy watchy bitey witey corpsey worpsey.”

Cute but angry looking white cat glares at you
Just so we’re cleary weary.

Via Reddit.

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Triple Threat

“All right, we’re in. You two take your positions. Blackie, cover the front door and cross his path as he heads outside. Midnight, patrol the south windows in case he tries to sneak out. I’ll stay in the kitchen and guard the back door. And remember, The Bad Luck Squad leaves no path uncrossed.”

Three black cats
Nobody gets out of this house unhexed! (Reddit)

I’ll be hiding under the bed, Andrew Y.

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To Serve Cat

I gotta say, when I first got adopted, I was scared to death. You see, my new family has these huge dogs with massive jaws, and I was just this one outnumbered kitten. But they seemed to like me right away and shared their food with me so I would grow up big. They loved to watch me eat. And today was the best day because they made me a full member of the tribe and they were going to have me for dinner over at their place!

cat sits in dog bowl
Not sure why I have to sit here, must be an initiation thing. (Imgur)
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