This is the hour of anticipation. The sun retreats into the horizon, and the world is bathed in blue. Headlights of cars float above rivers of asphalt, ferrying their drivers home from work. Soon my mistress will return, shopping bags in one hand, briefcase in the other, haggard, weary. It is for her that I stand my vigil, for the satisfying moment of her arrival, to see her lonely face, to feel her aching need for a comforting friend…
… and then I can ignore her.
Via Imgur.
Ack- Your stories get better and better! 🙂
***** (5 star post rating)
I laughed out load at the punch line and the hover.
Typical Felis catus disdainfullus
Wait! . . . after she does the can opener thing,
then I will ignore. I have my priorities. Mhff.
I shoulda read the hover first. *sigh*
Gotcha! 😀
As the slave to five cats, I can attest to the truthfulness of the story presented. But just try to have some me time, maybe relaxing on the sofa watching TV or reading a book and they will be all over you demanding petting and attention.
Or try to have 5 minutes in the bathroom alone!
And my cat wants the water turned on in the sink, so she can get a drink.
Well, what do you think the sink is for, anyway?
So. Long, long ago in my youth. My apartment mates had cats and of course I adored them all. As cat’s are wont to do, they would listen to see whose alarms went off first so they could camp outside the bedroom doors and attack you for breakfast as soon as you were up. Because of my schedule, I was almost the first person up because I had to be at my destination by 6 am. Two of the cats could not be bothered to be up that early. But the one called Fuzz. He was special. He loved food and he loved people. He was some kind of floofy, persian mix and he had lots of of toehawk going on. You could probably braid it. My bedroom was in a corner right next to the bathroom and Fuzz was that cat who MUST. SIT. ON. YOUR. LAP. while you are using the facilities. One morning I was really tired because I had been out the night before and had only gotten a few hours of sleep. The alarm went off. I got up and as I moved to the door I could hear him mewing. He was a big cat with a little voice. I knew that I just could not deal with what was to come next. I opened the door and stared down at Fuzz; purring like a riot. He stared back. I looked at him. I looked at the bathroom door. Back and forth and he did the same. I made my move to try and jump into the bathroom ahead of him and shut him out. I should take a moment to mention that the toilet seat was polished wood. Fuzz made his move to jump into the bathroom ahead of me. I still see what happened next in slow motion. Fuzz leaped like a gazelle into the bathroom and landed on the toilet seat lid. For a big guy, he was remarkably agile. Then with his momentum and fuzzy feet he began to slide across the seat toward the waste basket right next to the toilet. Legs and tail akimbo as he desperately tried to stop his slide. He landed in the waste basket. He landed in it like a cork in a bottle. All four legs in and only his head and tail sticking up. There was a moment. He looked at me; so humiliated he didn’t even mew. I was so tired I couldn’t even laugh until later in the day. Needless to say I extricated him from his predicament. The next day he carefully avoided his morning ritual with me but was back at it after that.
Win for the human.
Fantastic story.
Love the toehawk detail.
Best cats are big cats with little meows.
Thanks! It is one of my funniest and greatest memories.
“Headlights of cars float above rivers of asphalt, ferrying their drivers home…”
Three MFA professors just swooned.