Here’s Gilbert, a cat with a unique delusion. Gilbert does not like the snowy outdoor landscape with its coldness and its bleakness and its lackness of birdies, so instead he imagines that outside the window there is a lush tropical paradise with a spray of salty sea air, the scent of orchids, and the annual leadership retreat of the Association of Slow-moving Flightless Parakeets. Alas, Gilbert’s mommy does not understand the significance of Gilbert’s desperate clutching at the drapes to keep them closed, and thrusts Gilbert into a reality-based hellscape for which he is not emotionally prepared. Poor Gilbert.
If only you had known, Cheryl.
Oh, poor Gilbert!
The steam rising up from below is a nice touch.
NTMTOM overload: lackness of birdies! Slow moving flightless parakeets! And Gilbert’s slump of despair at the end was icing on the cake.
1) Gilbert needs a bigger perch. 2) Gilbert is thinking, “All I have to do is stick my paws on this curtain, and I’m guaranteed to get my human’s attention–works every time!”
The horror of OUTSIDE. Gilbert is thinking: that’s why I don’t bother to go out! Exactly.
Gilbert is just trying to avoid all the paparazzi trying to photograph him since he is such a lovely cat!
My alarm clock going off shall now be known as being thrust into a reality-based hellscape for which I am not emotionally prepared.
Welcome to the site, first-time commenter! I hope this site can give you a break from reality when you need one.
Now I want a recording of someone saying this to use for my alarm tone.
I just copied and pasted that into Notes to show my therapist. I was born two months premature at 2lbs and NTMTOM just about summed up my life. Yup, that’s been pretty much it for 64 years.
Hey Faye. Gilbert’s human sister (who he ADORES) is a preemie too 🙂 She was a bit under 2 lbs.
Go preemies!!
🙂
Great name, Tusitala! There used to be a bookstore near me named “Tusitala” once. It was full of wonderful tales, like it’s namesake.
I agree totally about the alarm clock.
I am so very sorry, but “What’s Eating Gilbert’s Drapes?”
WINNAH! 😀 😀 😀
Brilliant, D B!
Golf claps!!!
You win the Interwebs today!
Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha…
100% WIN 😀
Never apologize for genius.
Wonderfull *bows*
Reality-based hellscape, yep that is what was waiting for me this morning at work after being out of the office Thursday and Friday with a bad back, and I most definitely was NOT emotionally prepared for it ««sigh»»
I like all the little snags on the drapes from Gilbert’s previous encounters. Looks like my house!
A feeder hanging from that tree, just outside the window, would surely cure the lackness of boids.
My kitty and the kitties upstairs all enjoy their boid tv.
My parents have a feeder outside the bay window in the kitchen, and in the bush outside their bedroom window where the cats sit on the sewing machine to watch the show.
What gilbert hears.”Blah Blah Blah,gilbert.Blah blah blah.Gilbert Blah Blah Blah”.
Anyone else suspect that this was exactly what Gilbert wanted? To see move the curtains so that he could see out the window and smirk at the fact that he wasn’t out in that mess?
Yes, exactly. He has his human trained to open the drapes… but then is overwhelmed by the brilliant frozen nothingness
Thus illustrating the adage “be careful what you wish for.” (Welcome to the site, first-time commenter! Glad to have you with us.)
This site is SO on a roll!
Hi everyone. Gilbert’s “mom” here. He does this ALL the time. Sometimes he falls asleep with his claws hooked in the curtain, half falling out of the tree. And I agree that his tree is too small. He was a kitten when we got it and we weren’t expecting him to grow so big!
Thanks for sending that in, Cheryl! 😀
My pleasure NTMTOM! So happy to have found your blog recently: keeps me happy 🙂
Gilbert is a fantastic catboy name. He’s adorable. That is a wonderful spot for a cat to perch.
Thanks :). He had a different name when we got him as a wee kitten from the shelter but we renamed him. I think it suits him.