“You have done well, my child. The way you knocked the humans’ prized crystal from the top shelf was pleasing to us. Now that you have shown your loyalty, we of the Shadow Realm require a sacrifice of blood. Bring us… the puppy.”
Somebody warn the puppy, Sharon H.
They’re heeeeer!
Faye grabs new puppy and hides it in shirt!
Safe. And WARM too.
No! Not the puppy!!
Fortunately the puppeh is protected by its invincible powers of cuteness…
*cough cough* Kitty version of Poltergeist
Can we sic kitty on my coworker and/or her phone cord instead?
(shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup)
lol
I swear I’m going to scream.
We used to have a co-worker like that, a mega-motormouth.
Made us even crazier than we already were., and that’s going
some.
What makes it extra annoying is that she likes to tell people how I don’t like all the noise around here but it doesn’t stop her from contributing as much of it as she %&$#ing can. (Now she’s on the phone again and keeps clicking her pen against the desk.)
Also I did not get enough sleep last night which does not help.
I am impressed with your self-control. I would have told her to knock it off with the pen already. (And yes, lack of sleep really does suck– you feel irritable hung-overish but you didn’t even get the fun of the imbibing.)
And the loud talkers and screechers, outdoor voice, loud laughers– ugh, I get kennel stress with them.
I rarely drink but I have had a few shots of Romana Black in the past couple weeks…
Next time she is on the phone and clicking her pen, start playing the “drums” with your pens. Preferably out of synch with her clicking and loud enough to disturb her.
Sorry to hear about the annoying cow-orker. Hopefully she’ll smarten up one of these days.
Besides, getting new orders, I wonder what that kitty sees in the TV screen?
I had an online student who had a beeping smoke detector going off during our lesson. I wanted to cry. I hate that noise more than just about anything!
Oh yes, that can be arranged! 😀
And all those coworkers that snap gum and click pens. And might as well throw in those that bathe in perfume and laugh/screech hysterically. Okay sure while I am at it the slobs that leave their messes everywhere! Ahh that was therapeutic…
click pens
bathe in perfume
laugh/screech hysterically
Check, check, and check. Okay, it’s more giggling but still.
Heh it seems all the offices have such an annoying idiot, I feel your pain, Allein.
I finally gave my two weeks’ notice when That Person started shrieking out the window at a squirrel…!
Please let me add a few more items to the list:
negative comments on everyone’s appearance behind their back
explaining all the time how it was not her who f..d up the job, but an inherent flaw in the system – yeah right 🙂
heartfelt revelations with tearful eyes when I am flooded with work ( Let me tell you Ems I have never envied you for your looks – ok thanks bye, just let me work)
So if the kitty has more capacity I can also provide a target!
Can I also add the folks who don’t have an indoor voice (and no idea that such a thing exists)? Too, they have their conference calls and private conversations(!) on speakerphone, with people shouting as though the phone was a tin can with a string line.
I have a couple of friends who whether you’re talking on the phone or in person to them I have to either stuff my ears with the nearest waddle substance or hold the phone way far away. What IS that? I don’t think they’re hard of hearing themselves.
I used to sit right outside my (current) boss’s office (he was not my boss at the time; his office was right next to my former boss’s office) and he was always on speaker phone. Now he is my boss but we’ve moved around since then and now I don’t sit as close to his door.
I ate lunch in the break room at the other end of the office because it’s usually quieter. When I went in someone was sitting talking on the phone but I figured she wouldn’t be there long (it’s happened before). Fine, okay. Until she started pacing around in her hard-heeled shoes. Finally she left and it was quiet. And now I’m back at my desk. Sigh. Is it 5:00 yet?
Oh yeah I forgot the “Aggressive I’m in Control” power goose step walk in heels. Recently that coworker added a little jingly chain to the big boots.
So true (and sorry about the jingly chain) but I catch myself now (and thankfully we have carpeted floor at work) if I am doing tense goosestep walk or my speech is pressured in that stabby clipped way (truly both so awful) I force myself a time out. I go for a walk or decompress in the bathroom ( I am sure everybody thinks I have the weakest bladder). I dislike myself immensely when I am like that.
Darn it .. Since when do DELL monitors come with kittens ..
I never got mine .. **GRUMBLES**
Me neither. 🙁
I do have a little beanbag duck, a shell turtle wearing a straw hat and wire-rimmed glasses, and a polar bear in a snowflake-print scarf (he holds my stress ball).
—–
Not mine, but he looks just like ‘im;
A turtle wearing glasses??? How adorable – and I love his hat.
My friend got him for me on a trip to (I think) North Carolina.
I feel like he should be wearing socks and sandals and combing the beach with a metal detector.
black socks.
Tried to find a picture of a turtle wearing sandals and black socks. Failed.
But I did find a Chi-hooa-hooa wearing turtle shoes, so there’s that…
? But where’s the metal detector?
I’ll add people who can’t read your body language (which says shut up and go away!) and keep talking. When I see this happening to people, I find a phone and call the suffering co-worker, giving them the seemingly legitimate option to say: “Sorry, I’ve got to take this call.”
“I’ll add people who can’t read your body language (which says shut up and go away!) and keep talking.”
and check.
How about people who invade that personal space zone???? Very disconcerting. Or did you ever talk to someone who as they spoke to you looked at a space about 4 feet above you head?? I think that’s a disorder, perhaps, don’t know.
She does that occasionally. GET OUT OF MY CUBE!
I’m really bad with eye contact, though. But I tend to watch a person’s mouth when they talk, not look past them.
You can look at the bridge of their nose, too – makes you look VERY attentive!
Partly it’s a habit I got into when I was younger and had some hearing loss (had tube in my ears when I was a teenager). Not lip reading, exactly, but it helps understand a little easier if I don’t quite catch something the person said. I even do it when watching TV.
If I don’t have my glasses on I have trouble completely hearing everything someone says – the visual supplements the aural, I suppose.
Hubby told me that he had to do that once (stare at a spot above her head) in order to avoid glancing down at some cavernous cleavage.
I can just hear that conversation “Is there an echo in here???”
??
Sumomermaid, that’s awesome of you! I think every office wishes they had a Rescue Caller for just such situations.
Is there an app for that???? Should be!
Next time she leaves her desk, unplug her phone and plug it in to your jack (you may need a double plug). Put a fake plug in hers. Then, randomly unplug her phone when she talks too long/much.
Or start pretending to talk on your phone when she does, and either echo her comments, or complain about people who talk too much: “I’m sorry, could you please repeat that? It’s really quite loud here, and I’m having trouble hearing you.”
(Bad Duckie, bad Duckie!)
lol…I don’t think the cord would reach. And she does need the phone for legit work, it’s just when it turns into (or starts as) a personal conversation and goes on and on that I want to scream. She’ll also talk to practically anyone who walks past her (which, given her location, is half the office through the course of the day). I wear headphones a lot, and she’ll even just start talking to me and continue when she can see I can’t hear her. I don’t know how many times I’ve made her repeat herself after turning off my ipod but she still doesn’t get it.
Sorry for venting; I’m cranky. But it’s almost lunchtime. 🙂
Vent away, Allein.
Thanks.
Shorter and much-cuter me:
Allein, you should start a future telling business, there was a major office drama today, the Ems volcano suddenly erupted 🙂
Sorry to hear that. If it’s any consolation, I listened to a long cell-phone conversation this morning and now I’m hearing chitchat with someone visiting from the warehouse.
Sometimes I think I am in serious danger of damaging my hearing with my ipod.
Thank you Allein. I wish some mute button could be implemented on that co-worker of yours.
Yeah, same for me – listening to music all the time.
On the up side, I”m making a small dent in the hundreds of unplayed podcast episodes I’ve got on my ipod…
(Actually, most of them are on my computer, unchecked so they won’t try to sync to my ipod, which doesn’t have enough space for them all. The other day I took a break and played music, though.)
Only music works for me, loud music.
Some of the louder people even “outspeak” that.
I was in the kitchen yesterday with my ipod playing and I could still hear her. (Her cube is directly across from the hallway where the kitchen is.)
Often she’s speaking Portuguese (or sometimes Spanish), which is easier to ignore since I can’t understand much of it, but her voice is at a high enough pitch that I find it hard to tune out.
Let’s hope she gets pregnant or gets another job.
For us it is not her voice that is annoying, but the constant flirting with any man around. I mean you can tell from the way she speaks if she is talking to a man or a woman.
The company I work for organises English courses for the employees. It is not required but highly recommended to take part. As I am not expected to take part but she is, she has gone to my managers to tell them that she has heard me speak on the phone and it is a terrible beginner’s level and it hurts her ears to listen to my poor pronunciation. Oh well she knows roughly 3 tenses, so her assessment of my knowledge won’t cause me sleepless nights 🙂
lol…she was actually on maternity leave when I started with this department the first time back in 2007 (I left for another department for a few years and came back this past January).
I don’t dislike her, she’s a lovely person, but she has some… habits. I realized today that she seems to have stopped spraying perfume (or room spray, I’m not even sure) in her cubicle since we moved a couple weeks ago, though. I don’t know if someone said something to her or not but I’ll take it.
“Hmm. Will you settle for some shrubbery and a path?”
Chthulu beckons.
Oh, that’s great! I have the T-shirt with “Cthulhoops” artwork (a mashup of Cthulhu and Fruit Loops) and it gets a lot of compliments.
Allein, you outdid yourself with today’s pics. These are so cute, I have almost forgotten the only one that ever caused me a nightmare. (Justin Beaver) 🙂
Ha! That one’s creepy. I would never subject you all to such a thing.
Mike – This is HILARIOUS! I don’t know why so many down votes (perhaps the reference to the occult?), but I appreciate your forays into things less “rainbows and unicorns”.
I think people fear for their puppies.
Yes, I suspect it’s from folks like me (I didn’t down-vote personally) who can’t bear any film in which an animal is hurt. Even those made nowadays, which promise no animal was actually harmed. It’s a visceral response to the idea.
If I could have up and down voted at the same time I might have done it. Up for the clever, down for the puppy.
But why? Faye’s clearly on the job! 🙂
Yup. Right here grabbing ALL the puppies. Shirt quite full now. Not complaining.
Hehehehe check out those puppies under her shirt… joke. (I am taking the power back so to speak on the creeper talk.) 😉 and I will remove this comment if it is considered gross. np
FUNNY! Just be careful, Faye, those little nippers have some really sharp nippers!
Hey, now!
It seems like the Hot Dog Thieves (from the “We Have Only Eyes For You” post) have gotten an upgrade.