Behold, The Lump

Gentle reader, I direct your kind attentions to the creature behind me, to which I refer as The Lump. To be fair, it has further distinguishing features — legs, tail, glazed expression of childlike bewilderment — yet it is most recognizable in its lumpen form, hence the epithet.

Now I ask you, ladies and gentlemen, what does The Lump do? How does it justify its position? Does it rid the home of vermin? Does it hunt birds to sustain the master of the house, whose own skills in such matters remain underwhelming? No, it does not.

The singular talent of The Lump is to greet the master with an amplified enthusiasm normally exhibited by game show prize winners, and for this he is lauded as “Man’s Best Friend” while I must sleep in the garage.

Via Andrew Y.

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17 thoughts on “Behold, The Lump

  1. michael September 7, 2017 / 8:10 am

    Yet, you both seem to be on the couch.

    • allein ? September 7, 2017 / 8:55 am

      Ha!

      Still, I don’t think I would mess with him.

  2. dubravkamcvmd September 7, 2017 / 8:42 am

    Insightful analysis.

    • Catwhisperer September 7, 2017 / 11:03 am

      Yes, once again, Mike has perfectly channeled this kitty’s thoughts!

  3. The Iglets September 7, 2017 / 8:57 am

    Hahahaha… Calendar Candidate 2018!

    • allein ? September 7, 2017 / 9:08 am

      Oh, yeah, he’d be perfect!

      On a side note, apparently today is the first day of school around here. Back to altering my route in the mornings…

    • Catwhisperer September 7, 2017 / 11:08 am

      I second that!

      I’m already looking forward to placing my orders!!

  4. birdlady26 September 7, 2017 / 9:13 am

    Those sure are some great looking ‘ears of annoyance’.

    • Dubravkamcvmd September 7, 2017 / 9:41 am

      Ears of annoyance! I love it!

      • Clairdelune September 7, 2017 / 11:24 am

        PERFECT DESCRIPTION!! MUST REMEMBER IT. in fact am getting those ears right now because I am not obeying Her Highness’ order to go sit on the comfy chair and provide the customary lap and ear rubbing.

        • birdlady26 September 7, 2017 / 1:58 pm

          “Ears of Annoyance” is one of those terms that Robyn Anderson of Love and Hisses uses all the time. Lots of foster kittens have passed through her abode down in Alabama. She does a blog at http://www.love-and-hisses.com/ and also posts on Facebook. One of my daily ‘go to’ places for some uplifting kitten and cat fun.

    • Murray C September 7, 2017 / 10:35 am

      They look like horns!?

  5. Faye September 7, 2017 / 10:16 am

    The definition of SCORN.

    • LunaChickFringe September 7, 2017 / 12:57 pm

      The “Horns of Scorn”…

  6. Smartypants September 7, 2017 / 10:40 am

    Kat: “Me, resentful? What would give you that idea?”

  7. Clairdelune September 7, 2017 / 11:30 am

    Kat’s owner/slave might want to back out of the room slowly… don’t turn your back, could be dangerous…

    • Smartypants September 7, 2017 / 4:15 pm

      …and perhaps sprinkling a trail of Whiskas and catnip behind her…

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