The rented Lincoln barreled through the rickety front gates and screeched to a stop behind the old abandoned farmhouse, out of sight of the road. A white-haired gentleman, his once dapper suit now torn and dingy from days on the run, cautiously emerged.
He was alone. At last, alone. He had eluded his pursuer in Naples only to see him again in Tangiers. Then, fleeing to Jamaica, he laid low in a fishing shack for half a year before the noose began to tighten. And then in Shanghai, and again in Rio, and in Nepal, each time his nemesis grew nearer, the relentless footsteps closer.
But here, he was sure, the chase was over — ironically, he mused, in the humble farm where it had all begun those many years ago. No one would ever think to look here. But from behind the fence he heard the footsteps, followed by the all-too-familiar voice: “Welcome home, Colonel Sanders.”
Guess he shouldn’t have counted his chickens, John B.
Does anyone else get very excited when the page loads and they see a lot of text above the picture? You just know it’s gonna be good.
Yes, yes and yes! I do believe Mike has outdone himself. Totally makes my day. 🙂
Always!
YES!!!!!!
Yes. This one did not disappoint in the slightest. I started howling in the lunch room.
This was one of the funniest scroll downs in a long time!! I laughed out loud for a good few minutes. Reading the story, I had no idea what was to come and boy, was it good. Probably going to spend today chuckling at random times remembering this post.
Thank you Mike!
ROFL, and my coworkers think I’m insane!
the detail about the white suit was perfect. thinking of so many noir films, faulkneresque big daddies, etc. Was not expecting THE colonel.
This is one one for the coffee table book. Or a Netflix series.
Chicken is the New Baaawwk
Baaawwking Bad?
The Full Bird Colonel?
Stranger Wings
Unbeakable Kimmy Schmidt
I went in a different direction. When Mike listed all the cities, I was thinking hmmm, maybe something about the most interesting man in world? Plus, I didn’t see the color of the suit in the story so for me, it could have been The Colonel, James Bond (or any spy), or the most interesting man. Speakingof faulkneresque big daddies, made me flashback to John Goodman in the movie Oh Brother Where Art Thou.
THIS WAS SO GOOD!!!!
Yay, Mike! Thank you! I needed that.
That story was finger licking good!