Torn from today’s headlines is a story that captures the paranoia of our turbulent times: A foreign refugee fleeting a disease-ravaged land who must be stopped before he wreaks destruction across an entire continent — or is he?
“He” is Joe, a racing pigeon from Alabama who disappeared from an event in Oregon and turned up in a backyard in Melbourne, Australia. How did he get there? Did he fly? Stow away on a ship? Was he gripping a coconut by the husk?
Concerned about the disease risk, Australian authorities made a grim decision: Joe had to die. An Australian official summarized Joe’s plight in a somber and dignified manner:
But wait! Just as all seemed lost, as Joe was choosing bird seed or breadcrumbs for his last meal, as he could feel the cold, icy talon of death closing around his neck, came stunning news: Joe was not a foreign invader after all! (Something he probably could have told us if he wasn’t, you know, a pigeon.)
But wait again! If this isn’t the pigeon from Alabama who escaped in Oregon — then where’s the real Joe? Did he flee to Canada? Into the wilderness? Or is he out there, somewhere, snapping up counterfeit leg bands to raise an army of killer pigeons, spreading disease and communism to the four corners of the Earth?
Just don’t let him drive the bus.
I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry. Laugh because it’s so sweet and cute, or cry because we’re headed into P-Anon territory! (P for pigeon)
Comedic aspect aside, what do these governments plan to do with the wild migratory bird populations? Also kill them because they could be spreading the virus? [Never mind that people are actually allowed to travel on airlines for pleasure anyway and could still be spreading the virus.]
This is beyond ridiculous, and I’m glad the pigeon’s life was spared (fake leg band or not). Somebody should test these officials for cognitive impairment because something has definitely gone awry in there.
^ This.
I checked and there are indeed birds that migrate to Australia. Kind of mind boggling. Anyway, I assume the thinking is that those aren’t going to be introducing any new diseases because they migrate from the same places, but I know other birds are changing migratory patterns as the climate change. Part of me suspects that this was just some kind of offhand “what do we do with this pigeon” “idk I’m not paying to quarantine it” thing that accidentally made it to the media, and the “not from oregon so actually it can live” angle is made up to save face after getting an email to the effect of “good job being a dipshit, now we’re in the news.”
The last picture has a Hatoful Boyfriend vibe that’s making me nostalgic.
Different birds have different migratory patterns, and of course climate change has an impact on that. But they migrate nonetheless, and couldn’t care less about the pandemic. Inevitably are potential carriers of diseases even in non-pandemic times.
Hummingbirds migrate 4000 miles despite being extremely tiny. They’re vital pollinators at altitudes bees can’t reach due to cold. https://www.audubon.org/news/when-expect-hummingbirds-your-yard-spring.
OMGosh! You play Otome games?!
Australia is very strict about introducing foreign species to their environment be they birds, plants or mammals, just ask Johnny Deep about his 2 dogs.
Of course Australia has good reasons to be weary of invading species after they screwed-up so badly in the past by introducing cane toads and rabbits etc…
An army of killer pigeons, spreading disease and communism? There are a number of Republican Representatives in the House who should be notified of this threat – I’m sure they’d be anxious to take action.
I’m visualizing flocks of killer pigeons in fancy dress fowling up Biden’s inauguration…
So, if you see a penguin, it’s a pigeon in disguise?
Wait! the tip jar contribution is even better suited to this post; I was so bananas busy with bonkers clints, I was not able to read this until now *what a frickin week