Your Honor, my client categorically denies that he had any part in digging up the garden and that the so-called “evidence” is purely circumstantial. We refer specifically to the precedent set in the matter of Me v. Your Lying Eyes.

Your Honor, my client categorically denies that he had any part in digging up the garden and that the so-called “evidence” is purely circumstantial. We refer specifically to the precedent set in the matter of Me v. Your Lying Eyes.
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I would acquit him in a heart beat!
Objection, your honor, my client does not have thumbs. Therefore he clearly cannot be guilty of this crime.
I sentence him to house arrest … at my house! Gives new meaning to a two-tone paint job.
Cuteness is a very powerful defense.
We have all been attacked by grass at one time or another.
The dog is obviously the victim in all this.