Breaking Mews — Tragedy in downtown Cutetropolis was narrowly averted today when the Monorail Cat almost ran out of track. According to eyewitnesses, the cat was distracted by a shiny object and shot through the station. An alert passenger regained control of the cat by saying “pspspspspsps.”

I was dusting the sitting room when I noticed Lady Wilberfarb leave the stable after her riding lesson with young Roger, a farm boy just two weeks in our service. The Mistress must endure considerable jostling during these sessions, as she often emerges adjusting her hair and outergarments.

Scandalous, Andrew Y.