“On a scale from one to ten, ten being best, how would you rate the quality of the visitors here at the zoo?”

“About a six. I mean, I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, but most of them just stand there and stare back at us. They don’t frolic or jump around or anything entertaining like that. Sometimes Carl will hock a loogey at one of them, and that riles them up a bit, but most of the time? Dullsville. Oh, and none of them can operate a camera worth a damn — am I right, Carl?”

“You said it, Lenny!”

Taking stock at the ZSL London Zoo, via The Telegraph and Arne, who rates a ten on the sender-inner scale.